Chapter Text
Cross Caper 1+2
by Heather
http://www.geocities.com/drdaenea/rr.html
A kaleidoscope of lights filled the room, crazily spinning in a dizzy dance of color. At the center of the maelstrom of lights stood two people. And as abruptly as the lights began, they disappeared. The two people remained. "So what insane dimension do you think we're in now Blondie?" could be heard in the sudden silence of the shop.
"Dunno. Let's find out." Xander and Spike looked around the shop, both of them careful not to touch anything; after all they were in this whole mess due to witchcraft.
"Well, this looks like the Magic Box. Everything seems normal, maybe we're home."
"I wouldn't count on it, whelp."
"Look on the bright side, things can't get any weirder than that last world we were on. Although it'd be fun to see how this dimension could actually top the last one." Just then two people entered the shop.
"Giles! Spike and I spotted a new demon in town while we were on patrol. I think a research party is in orde-" the speaker stopped in mid-sentence at the sight before her. Her companion ran into her back because of her sudden stop.
"What is it, Xandrea?" Came a softened cockney accent from behind her. A bleached head popped into view from around her and started in surprise. "Who the 'ell are you?"
Giles chose that moment to enter the main body of the shop from the back. "Xandrea I was in the back inventorying, did I hear you say something about research?"
"That would be what you would hear," said Xander and Xandrea at the same time.
"Oh, my God. How is it that there are two Spikes? One is more than enough: who needs two?" Exclaimed Giles in one of his rare moments of humor, or he might have actually meant it, no one could actually tell.
"'ey!" exclaimed two synchronized Spike's. Everyone just ignored them.
"And the similarities between Xandrea and that young man are simply remarkable." Giles was quickly rubbing a hole in his glasses from the amount of cleaning he was doing.
"Giles, no matter how many times you clean your glasses, both the Spikes will be there, and Xander and I will still look alike. I think we should hear about how they got here."
"Well, Xandrea," Xander stumbled over the unfamiliar pronunciation of 'his' name, " it goes like this..." and Xander began the tale of his and Spike's trip through the dimensions. "None of the other Giles's could figure out what was going on. The last one might have but there was this weird light again and we left before we could hear what he said. Now that we've told you what's going on maybe you could explain what's happening here and how come this Xander is a Xandrea?"
"From what you have said you are simply transversing random dimensions. As for Xandrea it seems quite obvious, there's just a difference of one chromosome and in this reality she got an X chromosome instead of a Y."
"Why were you patrol with Spike?" Asked Xander.
"I'm the Slayer; why wouldn't I go on patrol? I was with Spike because he's possessive as anything."
"Great, this is the 5th-"
"6th," interjected Spike.
"6th world where Spike and my double have been involved. I way out number the other guys in the Spike department. Willow was with him in two and Giles in one." A small shudder runs through everyone present at this imagined image. "It's rather disturbing."
"Yes, quite. Well perhaps we should get down to work on finding out how to get you two home."
********
The rest of the Scoobies had trickled into the store at various times and Spike and Xander's story was told again and again. They sat around sharing stories about their lives in their different realities.
"Then Spike says, "I could bloody kiss you mate." And then he plants a big wet one right on this guy's mouth. You should have seen the look on his face. I was laughing so hard that I was crying. It was quite a spectacle, this dazed man just standing there and Spike smirking with me rolling on the floor laughing and crying. Not even Sunnydale could repress that scene."
When both Spike's turned to answer, for about the hundredth time it was decided to call the visiting Spike Spike and the 'hosting' Spike Wil.
After a few more hours of stories and studying they broke for the night with Xander and Spike heading home with Xandrea and Wil. Their apartment was vampire poof proof, they had a room not in use, and it was decided that if the vortex should appear they should be together lest they end up in different dimensions or happen to run into one of their doubles in the next dimension.
Xander crashed on the couch and Spike in the extra room. Xandrea tried to convince Xander that sleeping in the same bed as Spike didn't mean he was gay, but Xander wasn't going to take any chances. Fortunately for Xander, he fell asleep relatively fast and missed the sex noises that came from Xandrea and Spike's bedroom.
*********
"No, don't, please. Stop. Dad, don't, please." Xander tossed and turned, moaning softly on the couch. The sheets were tangled around his feet and tumbled to the floor. A hand pressed gently on his shoulder making him jump. Xander looked up into the concerned face of Xandrea.
"Come on, I'll make you some hot chocolate."
They sat around the table sipping from steaming cups. "So, what was your dream about?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"It will make you feel better."
"How would you know?"
"Come on Xander, we are the same person. I'll never forget the first time I told somebody about the abuse...."
{{{"Giles?"
"Xandrea, what are you doing here at 3:30 in the morning. Is there a new demon? I hate to get the others out of bed bu-"
"Giles it's not a demon." those softly spoken words cut Giles to the core. Something was very wrong.
"I- I don't know how to say this."
"Xandrea, you can tell me anything, please just tell me what's wrong."
She looked up and met his eyes, her brown ones radiating sadness and bright with unshed tears. "I'm pregnant."
Giles blinked slowly and cleaned his glasses for about minute. "Do you know who the father is?"
"Yes." Giles had to strain to hear the word. It was so softly spoken. This was quite a shock for him. He hadn't known that Xandrea was seeing anyone.
"Is he interested in helping with the child? Have you talked about adoption or," he swallows quickly, "abortion?" Xandrea shook her head no. "Have you even told him?" Again the head shake no.
"Giles, do you believe that if a virgin is raped that she is still a virgin? Still pure?"
The question startled him, that Xandrea would ask a question like that, which had nothing to do with the topic at hand. His eyes widened in surprise. Or maybe it did. He very carefully said, "Yes. If a virgin is raped he or she is still pure."
That quiet statement seemed to break her. She folded in on herself. Crying silently, impossibly silent. A tear stained face turned up to look at him.
"Then you should call me the next Virgin Mother."
"Xandrea, you said you know who the father is, why haven't you reported him?"
When Xandrea looked up and met his eyes this time, he could see a kind of resignation in them.
"Because he is my father."}}}
"So you see Xander, I know exactly how you feel. I just hope that because you're a guy you didn't have to face something like that from your father."
"You're right, I didn't. Beatings always hurt you know, but what hurt the worst was that he didn't care. Half the time I don't think it even registered that he was hurting me. He would hit even when he wasn't mad. I could never figure out what I was doing wrong except for being me."
"That's because you weren't doing anything wrong. It wasn't your fault Xander." Xandrea reached over and wiped the tears from his face. "It gets easier to talk about each time you tell a new person. Now, we have a long day ahead of us, so go get some sleep."
"Wait Xandrea, what happened to the baby?"
"She died. It was a miscarriage. For the best anyway, what with the bad genes." Xandrea padded softly into her bedroom. Xander went back to the couch to sleep, but tossed back and forth fitfully all night.
***************
"Up, Whelp! Its time to get up!"
"Spike!" Xander cracks one eye open and peers into Spike's smiling face. "Uhhhh, you're not Spike you're Wil. And it's" Xander pauses to look at his watch, "8 in the morning! That means AM! That's it, now I KNOW that I'm in an alternate dimension!"
"What, the fact that your double's a girl or that there's two of me didn't clue you in, mate?" Spike said still smiling.
"Why are you so happy this early in the morning?" Xander mumbled as he further sunk [sunk further into the couch] into the couch and buried his head under his pillow.
"Helen is coming home today."
"Helen?"
"You don't have an Aunt Helen mate?"
Xander lifted his head to look at the vampire and blinked blearily. "No, I have an Uncle Henry from Georgia."
"That's where Helen's from."
"Helen's different."
Xander snorts at this. "You mean more different then a lesbian witch or an ex-watcher? More different than a vampire with a soul? How much more different can a person get?"
"Let me tell you about the first time I met Helen."
[I was sent by the watcher to retrieve Xandrea for a patrol and then Scooby meeting, and was mad as all get out that I was becoming an errand boy. Well I go to the apartment number he gave me and pounded on the door, I don't knock I'm a badass vampire.
Well, the door opens to reveal a woman in her mid-thirties with a slightly chubby figure and shoulder length purple hair. I assumed I had the wrong apartment until she invited me in.
"Come in Spike. Giles said you'd be coming by for Xandrea. She's not here but should be back any minute. Why don't you make yourself at home." She practically shoves me on the couch and then leaves the room.
The apartment was well decorated, with plants in every window. After a few minutes she comes out with a mug o' blood! She sits down next to me and apologizes profusely for not introducing herself. She started to ask me a question when she starts to stare at my hand. Then she picked it up, and inspected it! I thought she was about to slap my hand for it not being up to standard when she says, "your nail polish is all chipped."
She pulls this cardboard box top filled with nail supplies out from under the couch and before I could say two words about it she was removing my old polish.
She just sat there doing my nails and asking the strangest questions, like "Do you feel separated from your demon?" and "Do you have any Childer?"
And interspersed were statements like "give me your hand" and "You have wonderful hands" She had me spinning in so many directions that I didn't even realize that she had painted my nails black with silver sparkles until she was almost through.
I had quite a bit to say about the silver sparkles. "Evil badass vampires do not wear silver sparkles!"
"Oh? Do they where gold then?"
"They do not BLOODY well wear any sparkles!"
"Well they should, and you should sit down and don't smear the nail polish it's still wet. I thought it was perfect. It reminds me of the starry night sky, and as a vampire you are closely tied to night. It seemed very appropriate." She said this in a terribly apologetic tone. All she needed was the kicked puppy eyes and they appeared right about... now. So I caved. Me the second half of the Scourge of Europe, William the Bloody, and evil undead vampire caved to a thirty year old, absolutely no supernatural powers, woman. She finished up my nails and gave me a delightful suggestion for a prank.
Oh it was hilarious! This is what happened...
{{{The door to Xandrea and Helen's apartment opened; Buffy and Xandrea walked in with shopping bags.
"Spike what are you doing here?" Asked Buffy, then without pausing to allow Spike to actually answer, threatens[ed] him. "You better not have been pestering Helen." Buffy stalks up brandishing a stake.
"Oi! Slayer be careful my nails are still wet!" Spike flashes his black and silver glitter nails at Buffy. Buffy is halted in her tracks, startled by the unexpected response.
Buffy studies the nails more closely trying to pinpoint what it is about them that's bothering her. Her eyes widen, "Spike why are you wearing sparkly nail polish?"
Spike looks her straight in the eye, extremely serious. "Ah lake shiney sparckly thangs." He said in a perfect red-neck southern accent. Helen stepped out of the kitchen and took a photo of Buffy and Xandrea's faces.}}}]
"Oh, pet it was priceless! Wish I knew where she hid the photos..."He trailed off, consumed by his fond memories.
Xander was now fully awake with little chance of falling back to sleep now.
"So when does she get here?"
Ding Dong. The doorbell answered Xander's question.
END PART 2