Work Text:
Panthers Live In The Jungle
by Anne Marsh
"You know, there's a panther on this island." Sawyer dropped it into conversation.
"What?"
"There is not. Hurley, there isn't."
"You calling me a liar?"
Charlie just looked at him.
"Okay, yes, I am a liar. But there is a panther. Saw him myself, out in the jungle."
"Well what was it doing?"
"Hurley, there is no panther, he's just lying to us."
"Taking a leak." Sawyer shrugged.
"That's bad, that means he's marking his territory an if we go past there--"
"*Hurley*." Charlie sighed. "It's not real, mate."
"At least a panther belongs in a jungle." Hurley defended. "It's way more likely than polar bears, and we *know* those are real."
"Don't forget all them crazy-ass monsters people seen." Sawyer grinned.
"How do panthers, you know, do their... business? Is it like dogs, with the--" He lifted one leg to illustrate.
"No, they just sort of hunker down."
"Oh, for crying out... There's no panther!"
"But what if it's real?"
"It is real. He sits up in the trees, and when you look up, he drops on you."
"That's not panthers, that's Tigger, and then Piglet says 'I'm looking down, Pooh!'." Hurley protested.
"My apologies, he's well-read." Sawyer smirked. There was a soundless flash of movement off to the side, and he turned, taking Sayid in with a long, measuring look.
Charlie and Hurley followed his gaze, and it was Hurley who waved him over.
"Hey! Sayid!"
"Yes?" He jogged up to stand with them.
"Sawyer says there's a panther on the island."
"I cannot say that there isn't." Something dark flashed across his face, and he turned to Sawyer. "Whatmakes you say that there is?"
"Saw 'im."
"Where?"
"Oh, you know," He waved vaguely towards the trees.
Sayid sighed, a muscle at the corner of his jaw twitching. "No, I do not 'know'."
"And it was marking its territory!"
Sayid lifted an eyebrow. "Well. It's your day for interrupting, isn't it?"
"Maybe he just had to piss."
"Maybe-- and this is a radical thought-- he's *not* *real*." Charlie shook his head.
"If an animal that large was making its home near our camp, I'm sure I'd know... Not that our friend Sawyer isn't fool enough to wander out into the depths of the jungle."
"Hey, I am *not* fool en--"
Another eyebrow raise, this time in triplicate.
"Oh, fine. Be that way."
"It's kind of too bad in a way... I mean, it's good, that he was lying--"
"Which I *told* you a million times."
"But panthers *are* pretty awesome." Hurley shrugged. "Who do you think would win between a panther and a polar bear?I mean, the bear is big, but a panther is super-fast."
"There's no panther, and I don't think there are any more bears, either."
"It's a philosophical question."
"Polar bear all the way, then." Charlie said.
"What? No way." Sawyer argued. "My panther could totally take your polar bear."
"You gotta be kidding me. Polar bear's huge!"
"Yeah, so? Lunchbox here," He grabbed Hurley's shoulders, turning him slightly. "Is huge. But if you put him in the ring with Sayid, who are you going to bet on?"
"I'm betting on Sayid." Hurley said.
"But Hurley's not a polar bear." Charlie pointed out. "He's more like a teddy bear."
"I'd still bet on Sayid." He shook his head.
"But Sayid's not a panther."
Sawyer shrugged and smiled and strolled away.
Sayid followed after, catching up to him out by the tree-line.
"So."
"So." Sawyer's eyes darted to the other man, nerves hidden under the veneer of half-amused indifference. Sayid was almost smiling, and that didn't necessarily bode well.
"A panther, eh?"
"Panthers live in the jungle." Sawyer crossed his arm.
"There is something... fundamentally wrong with you." He sighed, but the smile was still there. He padded off on silent feet, and Sawyer watched him go, his own lips quirking up at the corners.
"Yeah, probably." He muttered. "But it ain't so bad being wrong sometimes."
FIN