Chapter Text
Leave it to Rupert
by Lilithangel
abchainey@xtra.co.nz
http://www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint
Giles sighed as he headed up the stairs to his apartment. It had been a busy day and all he wanted to do was put his feet up and relax. Instead he would have to put up with the incessant annoyance that was a very frustrated and bored vampire.
He once again questioned the need to keep the neutered menace captive. Were they in fact holding him or was he simply hiding out at Rupert’s expense?
Well he was damned if he was going to let Spike keep him lurking outside his own home.
Giles pushed open the door to his apartment with one hand and manhandled the groceries inside. He shut the door with his hip and turned to find nothing… Nothing out of place, no dirty dishes on his coffee table, no books carelessly left with their spines bent and no smell of cigarettes pervading everything. Instead there was the smell of onions and meat coming from the kitchen along with some rather inventive cursing that he only recognised as cursing due to the tone of voice.
"Drat and bother, dang, dang, dang," Spike’s said from the confines of the kitchen.
Against his better judgement and thanks to an insatiable curiosity Giles pushed open the kitchen door and was rewarded by the sight of Spike’s arse waving in the air. Spike stood up suddenly and spun around revealing a frilly apron tied around his waist and a basting brush in one hand.
"You’re home," Spike said smiling joyfully, "here let me take those from you. You didn’t have to go shopping you dear sweet man. I could have picked things up later. You must be exhausted after your day."
A dazed Giles found the bags removed from his hands and he was herded gently into the living room and sat down before anything sank in. Spike spun away and returned with a glass of whiskey and Giles’ slippers.
"Now you just relax and let me finish dinner," Spike said kneeling in front of Giles and deftly removing his shoes and replacing them with his slippers.
Giles opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out as Spike spun away again and turned the stereo on. The dulcet tones of Tony Bennett filled the room and Spike bustled back into the kitchen humming along.
Giles sat and sniffed his drink not sure what sort of alternative reality he had fallen into. He tasted it carefully and waited to see if anything happened. After five minutes he wasn’t being sick or passing out so he took a tentative sip and tried to relax.
Five minutes later he gave up on trying and simply listened with equal amounts of confusion and amusement and the combination of singing and cursing coming from the kitchen. Any minute he was going to get up and shake the truth out of Spike, but he wanted to see how far Spike would go with this oddity and what the blond hoped to gain.
The phone rang and before Giles could even get up Spike was there.
"Rupert Giles residence," Spike said cheerfully, "hello Willow, how are you? Good. How was school? Good. Giles? Certainly I’ll pass you over but don’t keep him talking too long, dinner’s nearly ready." Spike passed the phone over and wandered back to the kitchen.
"Giles, did it work? It sounds like it worked, I wasn’t sure but he sounded lots nicer."
"What are you talking about Willow?" Giles had a strong urge to finish his drink quickly.
"We knew how tired and stressed you were with Spike living there and Xander said it was a shame that Spike’s personality hadn’t been chipped too and I said it would be nice if he was more like he was with Drusilla with you except not in a creepy vampire way but more like a Leave It to Beaver, June Beaver sort of way."
Giles finished his drink quickly, "so you cast a spell to turn Spike into someone called June Beaver."
"Kind of yes, I wasn’t sure if it would work since I had to substitute a few things and the spell wasn’t originally meant for it but it worked out okay," Willow said hopefully.
"What you did was foolish and potentially dangerous," Giles said.
"I just wanted to help."
"I know you did," Giles said with a sigh, "but you will have to reverse it we have no idea what repercussions there might be."
"I’m sorry Giles. I just wanted everyone to be happy." A subdued Willow hung up and Giles went for another drink just as Spike bustled past with a tablecloth and plates.
"Everything’s ready just as soon as I set the table. Will you open the wine?"
Giles noticed that there were some amazing smells coming from the kitchen and decided that since he couldn’t change anything at that moment he might as well enjoy it. He got up and opened the wine as suggested somewhat surprised to see that Spike had picked a rather good pinot noir.
Spike returned with two plates piled high with roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and vegetables.
"I thought something traditional might be fun," he said untying his apron and sitting at the foot of the table.
Giles found himself pouring Spike a glass of wine and sitting down opposite. "Everything smells wonderful," he said at Spike’s expectant look.
"I experimented a bit with the Yorkshire pudding so I hope you like it. It is a bit hard with my limited taste buds to be sure," Spike said with what looked like a hopeful expression on his face.
"I’m sure it will be fine," Giles said and cut into the beef which fell off the knife like butter. "This is lovely," Giles said with a sigh of pleasure. He took a forkful of greens and added them to another piece of meat. The greens were crisp and fresh and Giles was in heaven.
Spike was picking at his meal watching Giles intently. Giles cut into the Yorkshire pudding and took a bite. His face went still as he struggled not to spit the mouthful back out. He swallowed carefully and took a big mouthful of wine.
"What spices did you use?" Giles choked out.
"I started with green herb stock and a few chilli flakes which got me thinking about Mexican food. I didn’t think chocolate would work so I used a touch of cocoa powder and nutmeg. Do you like it?"
Giles had an irrational urge to lie. The unnaturally hopeful look in Spike’s eyes making him feel uncomfortable. "It is rather spicier than I expected."
Giles gamely finished the beef and greens with occasional mouthfuls of the Yorkshire pudding and most of the bottle of wine.
"Why don’t you and make yourself comfortable in the living room while I clean up?" Spike said when Giles had finished.
Giving in to the combination of wine and the pleasant but rare sensation of being looked after Giles made no demure and got comfortable as directed.
Spike hummed as he cleared the table and took the remains of dinner into the kitchen.
Giles’ peace was broken once or twice by crashes and not-quite cursing but Spike’s voice sung out each time assuring him nothing was wrong. Finally Spike came out and brought Giles a glass of brandy before returning to the kitchen with the bottle.
Giles knew he should be worried but he had a glass of brandy and his slippers were warm and comfortable, he was reading a good book and Tom Jones was singing softly in the background. He would be all kinds of a fool to want to ruin this even as he swore to start researching in the morning to reverse the spell.
A shriek of pain shattered his reverie and he leapt to his feet and ran into the kitchen to find Spike waving a flaming hand frantically.
"Bloody hell," Giles said and grabbed Spike’s arm thrusting his hand under the tap, "what happened."
"I was just trying to flambé the crepes and spread the brandy a little too far," Spike said wincing with pain.
Giles held Spike’s hand under the cold water and took in the disaster that used to be his kitchen. He could see where Spike had tried to clean up but the task was obviously larger than the vampire. It looked like every pot from the cupboards had been used as well as every dish and plate. There was a dusting of nutmeg everywhere that was making his nose itch and it looked like the crepes had exploded.
Giles turned off the tap and inspected Spike’s hand which was an angry red colour with several blisters beginning to rise.
"I’ll be fine," Spike said with a little sniff, "some blood and a good night’s sleep and I’ll be as right as rain. I’m sorry about the dessert."
"The brandy was enough I assure you," Giles said, "let’s get this bandaged up shall we?"
Spike followed Giles meekly into the bathroom and stood patiently as Giles put cream on the burn and wrapped it up. Giles couldn’t stop darting glances at Spike as he worked trying to figure out how much of the real Spike was behind the disturbingly guileless gaze.
"There we go, that’s better isn’t it?"
"Thank you Rupert." Spike smiled dazzling Giles with a look of such happiness that he almost forgot to breath.
"Now I want you to have a mug of blood and sit down while I finish the clean up," Giles found himself saying, "you’ve done enough for tonight and we don’t want the bandages to get wet do we?"
As Giles stood in the kitchen not sure of quite where to start he felt a small niggle of unease. He had accepted the spell’s effects with barely a murmur despite the fact that Spike was still a vampire and capable of causing chaos spell or not, as the kitchen attested.
Giles’ attention was grabbed by a neat pile of laundry miraculously free of cooking carnage. Spike had even starched the collars on his shirts and put them on wooden hangers. He really was going to have to do something nice for Spike tomorrow.
When Giles had finished cleaning up the kitchen he returned to the living room to find Spike curled up fast asleep on the sofa. With an indulgent smile he slipped a pillow under the tousled head and covered Spike with a blanket. He turned the music and lights off and headed up to his own bed with the nagging whisper way back in his mind that something was not right about what was happening.
Just before he fell asleep Giles realised what the problem was. Spike shouldn’t be sleeping on the sofa he should be sharing Giles’ bed where he belonged.
* * * * *
Giles woke late to the smell of coffee and bacon coming from the kitchen. He hurriedly got washed and dressed and followed the tempting smells down the stairs.
"Something smells wonderful," he said walking into the kitchen.
"You need something substantial in the morning to help you through a day of fighting evil," Spike said sliding a pile of toast onto a plate and putting them in front of Giles. "Bacon is nearly ready and I just poured your coffee."
"You are too good to me," Giles said as he tucked into the still warm toast with butter and marmalade.
"Nothing’s too good for you Rupert," Spike said as he poured a glass of juice and sat down opposite.
They ate in companionable silence until Giles was finishing the last of his coffee.
"So what are your plans for the day?" Giles said.
"Tidying up, laundry and I thought I might sort out the spare room."
"Well don’t overdo it and make sure you have some blood." Giles stood and helped clear the table.
Spike handed Giles his briefcase at the door standing back from any stray rays of light. "Have a nice day."
"Thank you I will." Giles kissed Spike quickly on the forehead and went off to work with a spring in his step and a song on his lips.
* * * * *
A contrite and worried Willow had been waiting for Giles when he got to the Magic Box. It took three apologies and two minutes of babbling before Giles could convince her that he was alright. She set about researching a way of reversing the spell even though Giles wasn’t sure any longer just why he had been so determined the spell had been a bad idea.
Giles pottered around for a few hours while she read until the door burst open and a smoking blanket rushed inside.
"You forgot your lunch," Spike said from under the blanket. He held out a slightly singed hand holding a paper bag.
"Spike you shouldn’t have," Giles said opening the bag and peering inside.
"He made you lunch," Willow said in amazement.
"Bagels and cream cheese and a blueberry muffin," Spike said, "if I’d known you were going to be here I would have brought more."
"Did I hear someone mention muffins?" Xander walked through the door.
"Shall I make the tea?" Spike asked heading for the back.
"Thank you Spike," Giles said with a mouthful of bagel.
"The spell worked then?" Xander said to Willow, "Spike’s all domesticated vampire now."
"Giles wants me to fix it," Willow said with a pout.
"Why?" Xander said.
"Because it was a risky spell and we don’t know what sort of side effects it might have," Giles said, "these really are delicious muffins."
"Hey, share?" Xander said hopefully.
Spike returned with a tray of mugs and a pot of tea. "Hot chocolate for the children," he said handing them around, "Giles didn’t have any marshmallows so I’ll put them on the shopping list." Spike smiled fondly at Giles. "Shall I be mother?"
"Thank you." Giles watched as Spike performed the necessary tea rituals.
After they both had a cup Spike hopped onto the counter, "does anyone have homework they have to finish?"
"Come on Spike it’s Friday night," Xander said in protest.
"All the more reason to finish it quickly and be able to enjoy the weekend," Spike replied. He jumped off the counter and cleared the table of magic books, "you just sit down and get your books out mister and you too Willow."
Xander kicked the table in a huff but sat down as ordered.
"Hey, I’m not at school anymore I work for a living," he said in protest after looking for his backpack.
"Of course not, silly me," Spike said. "How fast they grow Rupert."
"I know," Giles said.
"They’ll all be leaving the nest soon and it will just be us." Spike said a little sadly. "Everyone should come for dinner on Sunday night," he said brightening a bit, "we’ll make a party of it. What do you think Rupert?"
Giles smiled indulgently at Spike’s enthusiasm and nodded his agreement, "What a lovely idea," he said around the macaroon biscuit Spike had thoughtfully provided with the cup of tea.
"Can we bring dates?" Xander asked.
"Of course you can, Anya’s more than welcome," Spike said, "Buffy should bring that nice boy she’s been talking about. Willow why don’t you invite a friend too? I’ll do a proper English meal, it’ll be fun."
Giles contemplated warning the children about Spike’s creative use of spices and then remembered the many hours of teasing he had suffered from them over the years.
"How about six then?" he suggested.
Everyone headed off to their planned events for Friday night leaving Giles and Spike in the Magic Box. Spike finished his tea and jumped off the counter to clean up the mugs.
"Any plans for tonight Rupert?" Spike said when he returned from the kitchenette.
"I thought a quiet night in."
"That would be nice. Shall I get in a nice bottle of wine then?" Spike asked as he grabbed up his blanket.
"Now Spike I think you’ve risked going up in flames enough today," Giles said, "why don’t you wait here for me to finish and we can go shopping together."
"That will be nice," Spike said with a smile.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly and pleasantly aside from Spike trying to dust all the top shelves and knocking several hundred dollars worth of stock onto the floor, releasing two lesser demons from their amulets and conjuring ten gallons of lime jelly.
Giles had felt the urge to yell at Spike but it faded at the look of consternation on the attractive features and he contented himself with an eye roll and a snicker as Spike tried to clean up the jelly with a dustpan.
Finally when the sun started to set Giles locked up the shop and escorted Spike to the car.
A quick stop to pick up a movie and some supplies and they got home. To save himself from a culinary experiment Giles suggested ordering in so they could watch the movie.
They had bickered over the choosing of a movie to watch and settled on Quadrophenia* as a compromise they could both live worth.
Giles was agreeably surprised by Spike’s reactions to the movie. Of course the vampire had been there at the time of Mods and Rockers and it was a little disconcerting to hear him discuss the different flavours of both factions, but they had a very agreeable discussion about the music of The Who.
Pizza arrived and was duly consumed along with several bottles of wine by the end of the night. The discussion of music continued after the end of the film aiding in the finishing of the wine.
Finally Spike bullied the yawning Giles to head up to bed.
Giles pulled himself off the couch and held out a hand to Spike. "The sofa is not comfortable enough to sleep on," he said to the surprised blond, "my bed is plenty big enough for both of us."
Spike stared at Giles in surprise and then took the proffered hand. "If you’re sure."
"Spike we are living together, we share food and conversation we can share a bed."
"No monkey business though," Spike said, "We aren’t married after all."
"I will be a perfect gentleman," Giles said.
"But will I?" Spike joked.
By the time Giles completed his evening rituals Spike was in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin.
"I don’t have any night clothes so I borrowed a shirt if you don’t mind," Spike said as Giles slid in next to him.
"I don’t mind at all," Giles said trying hard to ignore the slender form beside him. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight," Spike said.
Giles turned the light off and they both lay in silence in the dark not sure how they were going to sleep with somebody beside them.
Giles woke at dawn and found Spike leaning on one arm watching him.
"Have you been awake long?" he asked surprised at how well he had slept.
"No," Spike replied.
It looked like Spike was going to say something else so Giles stretched and waited. Instead Spike leant down and kissed him quickly before jumping out of bed.
"I’ll get breakfast on," Spike said.
Giles watched appreciatively at the sight of Spike only wearing one of his shirts. Apparently unaware of the pale curve of buttocks just visible under the shirttail Spike headed downstairs without getting dressed.
Giles adjusted his suddenly erect cock and decided that a shower was a very good idea indeed.
TBC…
A/N: this got away from me so I will finish it on my next day June 18. The dinner looms as does Giles increasing attraction to Spike not to mention who else will get dragged into the spell.
*Quadrophenia is a movie from the late 1970’s staring Sting, so Giles would have seen it even if he wasn’t old enough to remember the Mods and Rockers of the 1960’s. Spike of course is old enough to remember everything.