SquidgeWorld Archive

Suspicious Indifference
by XFreak
x_freak@fastmail.fm  

Clark cheerily walked into Lex's office with a definite bounce in his step, his book bag slung over his shoulder. "Hey, Lex."

The older man sat behind his desk with his legs crossed, two fingers tapping the mahogany surface. "Clark."

"What time do we leave for Metropolis?"

"Our trip to Metropolis has been canceled."

Visibly deflating, Clark's shoulders sagged. "Oh. How come?"

Lex studied his boyfriend for a moment, his hands steepled in front of him. "I think we need a break."

Frowning, Clark shook his head. "I don't understand."

"That much has become blatantly obvious." Standing, Lex slid his hands into his pockets, moving directly in front of the other man. "You say you love me. You say you trust me. But I'm afraid I don't buy it."

"Lex?"

The older man sighed, his expression sad as he looked into Clark's eyes. "Every time something looks even slightly ambiguous, you accuse me of ulterior motives to the point that I feel like I'm talking to Jonathan Kent instead of Clark."

Clark hung his head, remembering the accusing words he hurled at Lex mere days before. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are, but sometimes sorry just isn't enough."

Snapping his head back up, Clark blinked rapidly at the moisture trying to gather in his eyes. "What are you saying?"

Lex squared his shoulders. "You need to take some time to figure out what I mean to you."

"I don't need time! I love you."

"I'm sorry, Clark, but I just don't believe you. We'll spend some time apart and you can think about whether you want your life to go back to the way it was before I became a part of it."

Frowning, Clark snapped, "Don't I get a say in this?"

Lex nodded. "Yes, you can tell me what you've decided after the trial period is done."

Glancing away, Clark swallowed the lump in his throat. He jumped as two gentle thumbs caressed his cheek bones.

"Please don't misunderstand me. I do love you. But when I'm with someone, I need them to believe in me. I'm not getting that from you." Tenderly, he brushed his lips across Clark's, an anguished moan the only indication that this separation would be difficult for him as well. "Good-bye, Clark."

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Lex returned to his office after yet another belittling meeting with his father. He stopped in his tracks, however, to find his boyfriend still standing in the same spot he'd left him, desolation radiating from him. "Clark?"

Clark started, and looked around at his surroundings.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Um, sorry. I was just thinking."

"They must've been some pretty serious thoughts. You've been standing there for half an hour."

"Getting dumped can do that to a guy."

He would not let Clark manipulate him into caving. Not this time. "I didn't dump you. Think of it like a marriage."

"A marriage."

Lex nodded, lounging against his desk. "Yes. When couples have problems, they sometimes go through a trial separation period before making any final decisions."

Shoulders tense, Clark frowned. "So dumping me is still the end result."

"That's entirely up to you." Careful to keep his tone gentle, Lex ventured further. "For the record, I really hope that's not the case. But I made a promise to tell you if I ever had a need that you weren't meeting. Well, I do and it needs to be dealt with."

"Separated couples sometimes see other people."

Lex stood straight, his posture rigid. "Hear me, Clark. If I see you with someone else, we're done. It's over. Understood?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Are you going to see other people?"

Exhaling loudly, Lex crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against his desk again. "Did I not just use the analogy of a marriage to illustrate our relationship?"

Clark's steel gaze pinned him to the spot, the younger man throwing his own words back in his face. "Not every marriage is quite as Rockwellian as Jonathan and Martha Kent's."

"And not every Luthor has a problem with fidelity."

Eyeing him for another moment, Clark nodded, his posture still defeated. "Do we have to do this?"

"Yes."

"I hate you right now. You have to know that."

"And you probably will for some time to come, but the issue still needs to be dealt with." Lex circled his desk, his demeanor business-like. "Now, since we won't be spending the weekend together, I'd like to get some work done."

Failing to answer, Clark stomped to the door, slamming it behind him.

Lex folded his arms on the desk in front of him, the echo still reverberating in his eardrums. Sighing, he lay his head on the padding of his forearms, the ache in his gut soul deep. He hoped he could stand it if the answer he received was not the one he sought.

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Clark sat in the barn, heartbroken, gazing out his window at the stars. It was funny how they comforted him.

"Clark?"

He jerked, surprised to find his mother standing beside him. "Hey, Mom. Didn't hear you come up the steps."

She ran a fond hand through his hair and he leaned into it, knowing her love would never be conditional. "I thought you and Lex were going to Metropolis."

Pulling away as if stung, he shook his head. "We had an argument."

"What about?"

He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. "It's personal."

"It didn't have anything to do with--"

Suddenly angry, he surged to his feet, stalking over to the window and gripping the frame. "No, my secret is safe."

"Clark..."

"Everything is not about my abilities, Mom. Sometimes I'm just a normal kid with normal problems." He refused to turn around, hoping she would leave. The comforting strokes across his back let him know that she hadn't.

"I know you have a lot to deal with, Sweetheart. I just worry about you. And I want you to be careful."

He sighed. "I'm tired of being careful. I just want to be me for once in my life."

As she lay her head on his back and wrapped her arms around his stomach, he took one of her hands in his own, the force of swallowing his emotions almost enough to smother him.

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Monday afternoon, Clark knocked on the front door of Lex's house, the two days apart feeling like an eternity.

The door opened and he recognized Lex's assistant, Anthony, who normally welcomed him immediately. "May I help you, sir?"

"I came to see Lex."

The man's handsome features showed a modicum of compassion. "Mr. Luthor has instructed the staff not to grant you admittance."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not a welcome guest until further notice. I'm sorry."

Clark stood with his mouth hanging open as the door shut in front of him, tempted to break the damn thing down and force Lex to see him.

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The following Friday, Clark walked up the sidewalk to Lex's front door, the box of fruit in his hands like a security blanket. Surely Lex would let him in this time seeing as he was here on official business and not a personal matter.

Anthony once again opened the door. "How may I help you, sir?"

"I'm here to deliver fruit." He held up the box to accentuate his words, his heart nearly beating out of his chest in the hopes that mercy would be shown him. An entire week without seeing Lex was like a year in hell.

"Just a moment, please." The door snicked shut and he nervously paced around the porch while he waited.

After about five minutes, it opened once again. "I'll take the delivery, sir."

Numb fingers allowed the box to be removed. "He still doesn't want to see me?"

"I'm afraid his orders stand, sir."

"But why?"

Anthony shrugged. "I don't make the rules. I just follow them."

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Lex looked up as Anthony brought the box into his office and set it on the floor next to his desk. "How was he?"

Folding his hands together, Anthony assumed a relaxed posture. "I'm afraid he was quite distressed. I'd almost dare to say desperate."

Leaning his elbows on the wood surface of his desk, Lex hung his head and prayed for the strength to keep the distance.

"It's been a week, sir. Are you not being unfair?"

His head surged upward, eyes glowing and tone sharp. "Excuse me, Anthony. I thought I just heard you trying to tell me how to run my personal life."

"My apologies, sir." Anthony excused himself to give his boss some time alone.

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Jonathan sat back from the table, patting his stomach. "Delicious as always."

Rolling her eyes, Martha still looked pleased. "Thank you." Surveying her husband for a moment, she glanced down at the table cloth. "I just wish Clark had joined us."

Jonathan frowned. "Isn't he in Metropolis with Lex?"

"At least you said his name without sounding like you have a toothache that time."

"The Luthors give me more than a toothache."

"And, no, he's in the barn." At Jonathan's questioning expression, she explained. "They had a fight."

"An argument?" He lifted his hand and balled it into a fist. "Or a fight, fight?"

She sighed. "I would think you'd know by now that Clark would never hit that boy."

"I was more worried about the son of a bitch hitting Clark."

"Jonathan Kent! I will not have you talking about that boy like that. He's not Lionel."

Frowning, Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against his chair. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

Standing, she thrust her hands onto her hips. "So I guess you think I'm just as obnoxious and stubborn as my father."

"No!" After a moment, he grinned. "Stubborn, maybe. Not obnoxious."

"Don't you try to charm me, mister."

He shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

Picking up their dishes, she pushed the scraps off into the trash and placed them in the sink. She then faced him, leaning back against the counter. "So, it stands to reason that Lex might not be Lionel Junior after all."

"Martha." Setting his chin, Jonathan gave her his most stubborn glare. "He's a Luthor."

She glanced heavenward as if praying for patience. "He's Clark's friend. Can't you at least try to like him?"

"No." His posture relaxed. "What does all this have to do with Clark?"

"He's edgy and emotional."

"He's a teenager, Martha."

She reseated herself. "His eyes were red and I could tell he'd been crying, but he wouldn't tell me why. He said they had an argument and that it was personal."

"So, what do you want me to do about it?"

Pointing to the plate sitting on the counter with plastic covering it, she said, "I want you to take your son his dinner and talk to him."

"Aw, Martha."

"Jonathan."

He simply pushed his chair back and picked up the plate, angrily grabbing a fork from the drawer and a napkin off the counter. Marching out the screen door, he let it slam behind him.

Men.

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As Jonathan topped the steps to Clark's space, he internally agreed with his wife that all was not well. Clark swung slightly in his hammock, staring blankly at the wood beams above him.

"Hey, Son. Brought you some dinner."

Clark didn't move. "I'm not hungry."

"You've got to eat."

"I said I'm not hungry," he snapped.

Whoa. "Well, I at least have to sit out here for a while so your mother will think I tried. Okay?"

A slight smile broke through the bland expression and Clark sat up and made himself comfortable on the floor. "Give it to me."

Relieved, Jonathan pushed a homemade saw horse in front of Clark and set the plate, utensil, and napkin down on it. "I owe you one."

"Naw."

Listening to his son eat, Jonathan walked over to the open window, peering out at the stars. You'd never get a view like this in the city. "It sure is a pretty night."

"Something on your mind, Dad?"

Busted, he turned and leaned against the frame of the window. "What makes you say that?"

"I can count the times you made small talk with me on one hand. And either you or me were in deep doo-doo every time."

Laughing, Jonathan nodded and seated himself across from his son. "Okay." It took him a while to push the words through his lips. "Are you all right, Son?"

"Dad?"

Holding his hands up in a warding off gesture, Jonathan hedged. "Your mother is worried about you. She sent me out here to check on you and I'm already in enough trouble with her as it is."

Clark frowned. "You are?"

Jonathan hung his head, his shoulders slumped. "I didn't come out and accuse her, but I sort of implied that she might have had a thing with Lionel Luthor."

"Dad!"

"You know, sometimes I'd swear she actually gave birth to you. That's the exact tone she used."

"Well, no wonder. For such a good man, you're really thick."

"It's not that I don't trust her. I just let my insecurities get the best of me, sometimes."

Clark grinned. "And that would make me your son, too."

Smiling, Jonathan rubbed his nose. After a moment, he tried again. "Are you okay?"

"I can take care of myself."

"In most situations, you can. But you don't have to." The silence stretched. "So, what happened?"

Swiping angrily at his eyes, Clark cleared his throat.

"You know, it's dusty in here. Maybe we should do some cleaning to help you with those allergies."

Chuckling, Clark exhaled slowly. "Thanks." After a moment, he began to worry the seam of his jeans clad leg with his fingers. "I said some terrible things to Lex."

It took a monstrous effort not to grit his teeth. "What did you say?"

"I accused him of shooting his father and framing you. I even said it wasn't like he'd never shot anyone before."

"I wouldn't put it past him."

Clark shook his head. "I should've known better than to think I could talk to you about this. "

"Clark."

The younger man drew his knees up to his chest, setting his chin on them and pulling them closer with his arms. "I could have just lost my best friend and all you care about is your stupid grudge."

Jonathan pressed his lips together. "Okay. I'm listening."

"With an open mind?"

"I'll do my best."

He nodded. "Okay. I just couldn't stop thinking about you sitting in prison or worse and Mom trying to take care of the farm and me on her own and..."

"Clark."

Miserable eyes looked up at him.

"Have you told him any of this?"

Clark shook his head. "I didn't even apologize, not really. He came over after you were released to see how you were doing and asked me if we were okay."

"We all know he's my biggest fan."

"Can you blame him?"

Flushing, Jonathan looked away, his jaw barely moving. "You need to tell him."

"He won't see me!"

Jonathan frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jonathan had never seen his son look so anguished. "He's instructed his people at home and work not to let me on the grounds."

"You could still call him."

"He won't return my calls."

Reaching over, Jonathan gave his son's forearm a squeeze. "Things will work out."

"I hope so."

"I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe it's for the best that you found out what he's really like now instead of later."

Clark angrily jerked his arm away, eyes growing dark and dangerous. "You're right, I don't."

"Clark."

"Thanks for the food, but I'd like to be alone now." He returned to his hammock, once again locked inside himself.

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Headache throbbing at his temples, Lex picked up his cell phone when it rang and checked the caller ID. "Clark" appeared on the display and he fought the automatic urge to answer immediately. It rang several times and then after a few moments began to beep at him, indicating voicemail. Sighing, he dialed the phone to check the message.

"Lex, it's me. Please, call me. I have some things I need to say to you, most of all that I'm sorry. Love you. Bye."

The automated voice told him to press "7" to delete the message or "9" to save it. His finger hovered over the "7" for a long moment before detouring and pressing "9" at the last second.

Feeling the need to act, he picked up the glass paperweight on his desk and threw it with all his might at the door, watching with satisfaction as it shattered mere seconds before Anthony poked his head in.

"Is it safe now, sir?"

"What do you want, Anthony?" he asked in the most bored voice he could conjure.

"Your orders regarding the boy, do they still stand?"

"Do you not understand the meaning of the words until further notice?"

"Very well, sir." Anthony left his boss alone once again, something the majority of the staff had taken to doing unless a pressing matter presented itself.

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As Clark and Pete made their way down the sidewalk toward The Talon, Clark caught sight of the limousine pulling away from the curb. His heart catching in his throat, he stopped at the entrance and grabbed his friend's elbow. "I'll catch up with you. I just remembered something I need to do."

"Oh, hey, I'll come with you."

Clark shook his head, almost dancing from foot to foot. "No, I've got it. Shouldn't take me long."

"Hey, guys!" Chloe called as she approached them, hooking her arm through Pete's.

"I'll catch up with you guys, later."

He missed Chloe's curious glance. "What's up with him?"

"He's just being Clark," floated to his ears before he turned a corner and let his legs carry him as fast as a limousine could drive.

Arriving at Lex's place before the limousine, he pushed himself back into some of the greenery so as not to alert the man to his presence. In a matter of moments, the vehicle pulled into the driveway and the chauffer trotted around to open the door.

Squinting slightly to make out the presence of his boyfriend, a warm sensation flushed his body as the familiar bald head appeared. Ice followed it as a lovely lady stepped out of the limousine behind Lex, reaching up to touch his face. Heat almost overtook Clark again, however, when Lex's hand intercepted hers, his lips pulled back in anger.

A small fire broke out next to Clark's feet and he closed his eyes as he stomped it out before any smoke drifted out of his niche. Blinking rapidly, he gazed back toward the house to see Lex holding an outstretched hand to a full group of business men and women, gesturing toward the house. After they disappeared inside, Lex looked almost right at him, what could have been a twitch playing at the corners of his mouth before following them.

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Lex leaned back in his favorite chair, tie removed and collar undone, shoes kicked off as he reclined. Mesmerized by the flames dancing in the fireplace, he thought back over the many arguments between he and Clark as of late. Each of them hurled angry, hurtful words at the other, neither one more to blame. He hated coming to the realization that he, too, was wrong.

Sighing, he picked up the cordless telephone next to him and dialed a number more familiar to him than his own.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Kent, may I speak to Clark?"

"Oh, thank heaven."

Frowning, Lex wondered at a Kent being that happy to hear his voice. "Excuse me?"

She sighed. "Ever since you two had your argument, Clark has been foul-tempered, irritable, and just down right hard to live with."

One corner of his mouth curved upward as his mind produced images of the male Kents going at each other. "I'm sorry that it's been such a trial for you."

"You two are going to work this out, right?"

Lex chuckled. "We might if you'd let me speak to him."

"I would, but he's not here."

"Oh, okay. Thank you anyway."

As he removed the telephone from his ear, he heard, "Lex?"

He moved it closer again. "Yes?"

"He's been spending a lot of time at the caves lately."

A warm smile lit up his face. "Thank you, Mrs. Kent."

"Believe me, if you two work things out, I'll be the one thanking you."

Chuckling, he disconnected the call, sliding his feet into his expensive dress shoes as he replaced the handset to its cradle.

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Lex narrowed his eyes, attempting to adjust to the darkness of the caves after the bright Kansas sunlight. The clearing of a throat he would recognize anywhere echoed in his ears and his heart sank. Rounding the corner, he took in the hunched form of his young boyfriend, misery etched in every sinew.

Head bowed as he studied the dirt floor, Clark suddenly looked up at him, features illuminated in the low light from the entrance way. "Lex?" he whispered almost like a prayer.

"The one and only." He smirked. "Hopefully, anyway. I don't think the world's ready for another one of me."

Smiling, Clark suddenly flushed, breath coming faster. He stood, hands trembling slightly. "The separation's over?"

Lex nodded. "My intention wasn't to hurt you, Clark. I was hurt and angry myself and I think maybe I carried it too far."

Stepping forward, Clark reached out a hand and then jerked it back. "Can I? Can I touch you?"

"Of course."

The younger man wrapped him in a tremulous hug, eyelashes tickling Lex's skin as he blinked rapidly.

Lex kicked himself seven ways from Sunday for the pain he'd caused, petting the wavy hair gently. "Clark, I didn't mean to..."

Drawing in a shaky breath, Clark shook his head, but didn't move otherwise. "Wasn't your fault. I should never have said those things. And I shouldn't have made you come to me."

"Agreed, but I wasn't exactly an angel myself."

Clark raised his head to meet Lex's eyes, but refused to release his hold on him. "What do you mean?"

"In the hospital, when I was talking to Ethan, I was a bit stung when you called for him instead of asking me how my father was doing or how I was doing. I'm not proud of it, but when someone hurts me, I try to hurt them right back. That's why I ignored you."

"It did hurt."

"I'm sorry." Lex kissed each cheek tenderly. "We both messed up and I tried to lay it all on you."

"You've been through a lot."

A bitter laugh escaped Lex's lips. "And you haven't?"

Clark shrugged in that adorably bashful way that always pulled at Lex's heart. "I guess."

"So, once again I ask, are we okay?"

"I should be the one asking. And for the record, I'm sorry for the things I said to you. It was unfair and immature."

"It's water under the bridge."

Kent stubbornness presented itself as Clark shook his head. "You shot Nixon to save mine and my dad's life. You didn't deserve what I said to you."

"Neither of us deserved the whole situation. Let's just learn from our mistakes and move on."

Clark smiled. "Okay."

Lex had really missed that smile. He leaned forward and kissed it thoroughly.

As they headed toward the entrance Clark mused, "One good thing came out of all this, though."

Startled, Lex looked over at him. "What?"

"We get to make up."

Chuckling, Lex nodded, leering. "Tell me about it."

Clark grinned sideways at him, the afternoon sunlight picking up the highlights in his hair as he rewarded the sensual glance with a swat to Lex's rear end. "Race ya."

Quickly surveying their surroundings to make sure no one saw, Lex chased after his boyfriend, who strangely always seemed one step ahead of him.

END