Work Text:
Suspicions
by XFreak
x_freak@fastmail.fm
"Colonel O'Neill, I would like to have a word with you."
"What's on your mind, Teal'c?" Jack asked, facing his teammate in the hallway of the SGC.
"Are you angry with Daniel Jackson?"
"No, why?"
"Then his suspicions must, in fact, be correct. I will take no more of your time." The Jaffa turned to step away, but Jack had other ideas.
"Teal'c."
"Yes?" he asked, swiveling back around gracefully for a man of such size, hands clasped behind his back.
"Suspicions? What suspicions?"
"I am not at liberty to say, O'Neill."
"For cryin' out loud, Teal'c. How am I supposed to fix it if I don't know what's wrong?"
"If you do not know what is wrong, then matters are worse than I suspected. Good day, Colonel."
"Teal'c! Cease. Desist. Don't you move."
"I do not understand."
"Obviously. Is Daniel in some kind of trouble?"
"Daniel Jackson is not in immediate danger."
"Then what's with all the questions?"
"When was the last time you traded pleasantries with Dr. Jackson? When did you last inquire into his state of being?"
The proverbial light switched on over Jack's head and he stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "I...."
"Precisely."
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Daniel knocked on General Hammond's door, his nerves skittering around inside his body like aimlessly lost souls.
"Come in."
Pushing the door open only enough to poke his head through, he asked, "Do you have a minute, sir?"
"Of course, Dr. Jackson." The general rested his forearms on his desk, giving the younger man his full attention. "What can I help you with?"
Daniel moved into the room, closing the door behind him. "Um," he began, swiping a hand over his mouth before continuing his request. "I'd like to take a leave of absence, sir."
"Are you all right, son?"
"Ah, well...," he began, smiling without humor as he often did while trying to be polite yet honest.
"I see. How long are we talking about?"
"I'd like to take a week to sort of get my head in order, evaluate how I feel about my place in the Stargate program, decide if I want to continue working with SG-1."
That brought General Hammond out from behind his desk. "You're thinking about leaving?"
He nodded. "In light of certain events, I have been entertaining the notion."
"What events would those be, Dr. Jackson?"
Shrugging, Daniel quickly said, "Let's just say that I'm not quite sure I belong on the team anymore and I don't think I'm just imagining it, sir."
Placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder, General Hammond said, "Take your week, son." Removing the hand, he added, "I hope you know that the Stargate program will lose a major asset if you decide not to return."
"Thank you, sir."
"Keep me informed, Dr. Jackson."
"Yes, sir, I will."
After exiting the general's office, Daniel swallowed down the emotions that tried to take control, determined to wait until he got off base to deal with them. As he walked down the hallway of the SGC, he wondered idly if this would be the last time he officially did so, a certain sadness trailing his steps.
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Jack walked into Daniel's work area, startled to find him stuffing books and miscellaneous odds and ends into a duffel bag. "Daniel?"
"Oh, hi, Jack," he answered, not even pausing in his task.
"Ah, you mind telling me what you're doing?"
"I'm going on vacation."
"And you didn't think it appropriate to tell me?"
"I just did," he replied semi-tightly.
For the first time in a long while, Jack looked at his best friend, really looked at him. Strain traced wrinkles from the edges of his eyes, eyes that hid behind a pair of glasses and grew hooded whenever they connected with his own. "Stop that for a minute, will ya?"
"What?" Daniel asked, holding the bag open with one hand, a book suspended in the other.
"Packing. I feel like you're leaving here. You know, the not coming back kind."
"It's a possibility," he acknowledged, placing the book in the bag. "But I'll come back to say good-bye if that's the case."
"Now, hold on just a damn minute there, Danny. What's going on here?"
Anger suddenly twisted Daniel's normally pleasant face. "Don't play dumb with me, Jack. You know exactly where we've been headed for a while now." Holding up a hand, he corrected himself. "No, where I thought we were headed before I was replaced."
"Replaced? What are you talking about?" Jack demanded.
Calmly crossing his arms over his chest and tucking his fingers under his arm pits, he stepped into Jack's personal space, his voice almost deadly quiet. "Getting close to another man too uncomfortable for you, Colonel? Afraid I might bring my feelings out into the harsh light of day, sir? Funny, I never figured you for a homophobe. ‘course, I never figured you for a guy that would go for another member of our team and shove it in my face, either."
"That's what this is about? My relationship with Carter?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized his mistake and tried to back track. "I mean--"
"No, I think you got it right the first time. You two can give all the lip service to not pursuing the relationship that you want, but the fact is that you and she are together." Finally glancing away from Jack, Daniel noticed Teal'c standing in the doorway with his back to them, guarding against interruptions.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"There's nothing for you to say. Your actions said it all. Although, I would've appreciated you telling me that you didn't return my feelings. I could've handled that, but this ignoring me as if I don't exist while you two make plans for a white picket fence and 2.5 kids is a little tough to take."
"That's not going to happen."
"Whatever," Daniel dismissed. "I mean, you didn't even ask me if I was okay and I was only semi-conscious when you found us in that warehouse. I can deal with you caring more for Sam than me, but you could at least pretend to still be my friend."
"I am your friend, Danny," Jack breathed, resigned.
"Yeah, well," Daniel began, jerking his bag off the table, "you could use some lessons on how friends treat each other." With that, he walked to the door, saying, "Excuse me, Teal'c." The Jaffa allowed him to pass, falling in step beside him as they disappeared down the hall, Jack overhearing their exchange.
"Did you and Colonel O'Neill reach a satisfactory understanding?"
"I don't think that's possible at this point, Teal'c. I really don't."
The defeat in those words stung Jack to his very core.
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"Hey, Sam," Daniel greeted, walking into her office and dropping his bag on the floor close to the door.
Squinting into her microscope, she looked up in surprise. "Daniel, hi," she replied, her brow wrinkling in confusion.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"No, not exactly. I just got the feeling that you were avoiding me."
Sighing, he pulled up a stool across the table from her and sat down. "To be honest," he said, examining his fingernails, "I sort of was."
"Did I do something...?" she inquired, shaking her head as if she couldn't figure out what it could be.
"No, you didn't do anything I could fault you for. I was just... sort of jealous, I guess." He shrugged, studying the floor, willing her to understand without him having to spell it out for her.
"Jack," she said with such certainty that Daniel looked over his shoulder for the other man, meeting her eyes in confusion when he found no one there. "It's because of Jack, right?"
He nodded, thumping a light rhythm on the wood surface of the table. "I'm happy for you, Sam, really."
"You're not angry?" she asked, uncertainty drawn in the narrowed eyes, the head tilted.
"Not with you, no." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Anyway, I just came by to tell you that I'm going on vacation."
"Vacation?" she repeated, looking totally lost. "When?"
"Now," he replied, jerking his head in the direction of the bag by the door.
"Oh," she remarked, standing. "Are you going anywhere in particular?"
"I don't have any plans to. Just... away from the SGC."
Studying him closely, her eyes lit with understanding. "Will you be coming back?"
"You know what? I'm going to have to get back to you on that. I just didn't want to take off without saying anything."
"Yeah," she agreed, obviously not pleased with the development.
"Well," Daniel said, pushing to his feet. "See you later."
"Yeah, see ya."
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Leaving. Gone. Jack shook his head as he headed toward Major Carter's office, mulling over two words that just did not fit in connection with Daniel Jackson. Sure, he'd been hard to get along with lately, but had he been that bad? Daniel seemed to think so, but Jack still considered them best friends. Maybe the good doctor had a point about him having a lot to learn about friendship. Teal'c certainly acted like he agreed. He didn't do anything blatantly overt, but his jaws looked unusually tight when speaking to Jack, his voice more of a growl than before.
"Sir."
The happy voice brought him out of his reverie and he found himself standing in Carter's office, wondering how the hell he got there. "Carter."
"You ready to go?"
"Go?" he asked, employing the talent he sometimes had for making himself look slow on the uptake.
"To dinner. We were going out to dinner?"
Backing up slightly and raising his hands in a defensive motion, he said, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Sir?"
"It just doesn't seem appropriate somehow."
"Whatever happened to two co-workers enjoying each other's company?" she snapped almost instinctively, recovering her composure a second later. "This is because of Daniel, isn't it?"
"It's not because of anything, Carter. We agreed that our feelings are just that, that we couldn't act on them. Somehow, we lost sight of that."
"And your being with Daniel is different how?" she asked, talented for getting to the heart of the matter.
"Daniel and I are friends, Carter. You do remember the term? I don't know what you're trying to imply here, but my patience is quickly running short."
"If that's all, sir," she began, blinking back the sting in her eyes, "I'll be leaving."
"Dismissed, major."
"Thank you, sir," she respectfully muttered before hastily exiting and leaving him to stand in her office wondering how in the hell he managed to fuck up his life time and again.
A familiar blur passed the doorway and he stumbled out into the hall. "Danny!"
Daniel stopped, then slowly turned. "Jack," he said in a neutral voice, his gaze highly guarded, the lights reflecting off the edges of his lenses.
"I'll see you when you get back, okay?"
"Yeah, when I get back."
"Okay, then," Jack agreed, not really ready to examine why he suddenly felt a hundred pounds lighter now that their last words to each other held no anger, maybe even the hope of rebuilding the weathered bridge between them.
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Jack paced back and forth across his living room, the game on TV barely even noticed. After Teal'c's questions the other day, his mind went into overdrive and now he couldn't shut it up. He'd come to realize that he cared a lot for Carter, but his feelings were more that of friendship and camaraderie than the dreaded 'L' word. Sort of how a cop would feel toward a platonic partner. Sure, he loved her, but not like that. He loved Teal'c, too, but not like that. Daniel on the other hand... he just loved. Damnit.
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Two hours later, he found himself on Daniel's door step, freshly showered and shaved. Nervous as a high school boy on his first date, he lifted a trembling hand and knocked soundly, willing his friend to put him out of his misery.
Momentarily, the younger man opened the door wearing a deep blue-grey sweater, his hair slightly mussed. "Jack," he said in surprise, his eyes almost glowing in the absence of his glasses.
"Can I come in?" Jack asked, fidgeting because he couldn't figure out quite what to do with his hands.
"Sure," Daniel agreed and stepped back out of the way, curiosity and confusion warring on his brow.
"Daniel," Jack sighed, forcing himself to look into those almost clear blue eyes, "I'm sorry."
END