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Part 24 of humorous Deathfic
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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534
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humorous deathfic: Sara what part of 'Don't touch' didn't you understand?

Summary:

Sara thought the sign couldn't possibly apply to her.

Work Text:

 

Sara, what part of 'Don't touch' didn't you understand?
by Josette Grover
sylumdrift@gmail.com  or slashsister@gmail.com

 

Conrad Ecklie looks down at the body on the slab, then over at the coroner.

"Doc, are you saying she died from eating scrambled eggs?"

"Well, the rat poison in the eggs is what actually killed her, but yet." Doc Robbins says, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. This is the third time that Ecklie's asked the same damn question after all, it's not like the answer is going to magically change if he asks often enough.

"And how did the rat poison get in the scrambled eggs?"

"In case you haven't noticed, we've been overrun by mice and rats lately, though the one that jumped out of the body was the last straw." Doc says, leaning on one crutch as he shoves the body back into the morgue drawer.

"We've been putting down rat poison in scrambled eggs to get rid of the rats, Sara must have ignored the sign on the bowl that said don't touch and ate some anyway. When she didn't come in to work tonight, we called out a car. They found her in the bathroom of her apartment. When I found the trace of scrambled eggs in her stomach, I knew what killed her. The tox report just confirmed it."

"Where was the scrambled eggs kept?"

"On the counter in the break room in a covered bowl with the sign, keep out prominently on top of it. Gil told me that it looked like some had been taken when he went to fill the plates on the floor, we thought that somebody on the day shift had put some out."

"Why would day shift put out poison? Night shift is the only shift that has seen these so called RATS!" Ecklie screams as one runs across the floor, expertly dodging the scalpel thrown at him by the screaming man.

"Damn it Ecklie, don't throw my instruments." Robbins snaps. "Now I'm going to have to sterilize that whole tray . . . again." David, who had been lurking in the background, picks up the thrown scalpel and knocked over instrument tray, taking it off to go through the autoclave.

"When did the rat problem start? And why put the poison in scrambled eggs?"

"Way I heard it, somebody had a rat run across their foot in the bathroom and screamed like an opera singer two weeks ago." Robbins says innocently, knowing damn good and well it had been Ecklie screaming like a little girl. Ecklie flushes. "As for the scrambled eggs? The taste masks the poison, the rats eat it and it kills them."

"I am never going to be able to look the same way at a plate of scrambled eggs again." Ecklie mutters as he leaves the room. "So it was definitely the rat poison that killed her?" he says, turning around at the doorway.

"Yup, though she might have died from the food poisoning if it hadn't." Doc Robbins says. "The bowl had been out on the counter for nearly a week, even she had to have known the food inside wasn't going to be good after all that time."

 

end

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