Work Text:
Scheduling Conflicts
by Ragna
(WritingGoddess@aol.com )
Cordelia hadn't expected Heaven to look so...busy. Apparently a lot more people had been dying than she realized. She looked around, seeing a few familiar faces...Joyce, Jonathan, Larry...
And Anya.
"So. I see someone finally did the world a favor and got rid of you," Cordelia said in way of a greeting.
Anya threw Cordelia the coldest look she could muster. "For your information, it was a some*thing,* not a some*one.*"
Cordelia shrugged. "Well, I'd hoped to see people I actually liked up here."
"And why don't you like me?"
"Do you vaguely remember a wish that sent me to a freakish universe? I may not remember all the details, but it came back in nightmares quite often."
"I was just doing my job. You *were* scorned, after all."
"Yeah, but he was still with Willow! And they were vampires! And they *killed* me!" Cordelia shouted, not caring if she raised her voice.
"Well, sorry. No guarantees." Anya shrugged and looked away towards the silver stream that was flowing by. "Huh. Take a look."
Cordelia looked at where Anya was looking and saw Xander, still smiling slightly. "I still can't believe he lost an eye," she muttered to herself.
"Yeah. Buffy wanted to rip Caleb a new one for that. So did Willow and I," Anya said.
"I would have joined in on that fight if I hadn't been...well, evil."
"Oh, and you were being snarky about me?"
Cordelia looked away. When she turned back, she was looking thoughtful. "I guess you're right."
"So if you were evil, why are you in Heaven?"
"Cosmic fuck-up. I wasn't supposed to be evil, I think."
"Ah." Anya turned back to the stream. "Anyone you want to check in on?"
"Angel," she said, and then his image appeared. He was sleeping in his room at the law firm, tossing and turning. She shook her head. "A nightmare."
"I thought vampires didn't have nightmares."
"He's had them before."
"You two were really close?"
"Yeah, I guess. Though I really screwed him over."
"How?"
"Slept with his son, got pregnant, unleashed an evil that wanted world peace at the cost of human sacrifices..."
Anya whistled. "You really were evil."
"Yeah. But like I said, I don't think I was supposed to be. Or maybe I was, but the good stuff I did outweighed the bad. Who knows?" She continued to watch Angel. "Man, whatever he's dreaming about must be pretty bad."
"Yeah," Anya said. "Bet you he's seeing the end of the world."
"Why do you think that?"
"Didn't we all dream about the end of the world?"
"Good point." Cordelia turned away. "So..."
"Yeah."
"I think Xander would get a kick out of seeing us up here."
Anya smiled. "I think so too."
"I wonder what's going to happen when he dies."
"He's going to come here, of course. If Heaven took us, they're definitely taking him." Anya cocked her head slightly. "Though maybe we should set up a visitation schedule. You know, so we can spend equal time with him."
"Anya?"
"Yeah?"
"He's still alive. There's a chance he'll get into another relationship. He's too nice of a guy to be alone for the rest of his life."
"Maybe he'll go into the ministry or something where he'll have to take a vow of celibacy."
"Are you sure you weren't whacked in the head before you died?"
"I was almost sliced in half."
"Close enough." Cordelia sighed. "How about I get a week, then you get a week? That way, if he gets into another important relationship, we can just rotate his other significant other into the mix."
"I was thinking of an every other day thing."
"Did you miss the part about in case he moves on?"
"So? She can share with us."
Cordelia rolled her eyes and laid back. "Anya...this is going to be a long debate. We may not even come to a decision before he dies. Let's do it weekly."
"Daily."
"Weekly!"
"Daily!"
"WEEKLY!"
"DAILY!"
"WEEKLYWEEKLYWEEKLY!"
Anya glared at the brunette in front of her. "You...evil..."
"Don't even go there. We could always go to God and get a decision, you know."
Anya quickly shook her head. "Weekly, I'll do weekly."
"Why the sudden change?"
"*You* try talking to a God. It's not fun." Anya crossed her arms. "Especially when he sends you to an angel to settle the matter. The angels around here are tired of me."
"I don't even want to know why," Cordelia said, shutting her eyes. "Some things are better left unsaid."
end