Chapter Text
Hearts and Thoughts
by AngelChase
angelchase2001@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/lifeisbittersweet
-Angel? Would you like some blood?- Wesley whispered from the door.
-No, thanks- was all he got for a response
-Would you come down with us?-
-No, thanks- the vampire said, turning his back to Wesley and staring through the window.
-We'll be right downstairs-, was all the watcher added before he disappear in the hallway
----
-So, how is he?- Gunn asked
-Not good. Not bad either. He's just absent- Wesley said.
-He didn't want the blood?- Cordy asked.
-No. He doesn't want anything. Maybe you should try to talk to him-
-Wes, I believe we've all learned that it is better to let him be alone when it comes to Buffy-
-I don't know. He talks to you. Maybe Wes' idea is not that bad-, Gunn added.
-Buffy is dead. What am I supposed to say to him? I'm sorry? I am, but that won't mean a thing to him. And it's always me doing all the talking. But this time, I have nothing comforting to say- Cordelia explained.
-Maybe if we all went to talk to him...- Wesley suggested.
-And say what? Wanna play Pictionary, Angel?-
-It's not such a bad idea-, the vampire startled them. -So, who's in?-
-Angel... Pictionary?- Gunn questioned him
-Or scrabble... whatever- the vampire replied
-Angel, you know what he meant. One minute you won't come down and the next you want to play Pictonary?- Cordelia said as she came closer to him and ran a hand along his back.
-I don't want to be alone. And I don't want to talk about it. I'm not ready. And I want to keep my mind off it. So, yes, pictonary. Can we?-
-Fine. But I want Wesley on my team- Cordelia smiled at him.
-Hey, why not me?- Gunn protested
-Honey, I love you, but last time you drew a plane that looked like a banana-
-Fine, fine-
----
-It's not fair. You got Wesley on your team-
-Hey, you got Gunn-
-And your point is?-
-Ok, Angel. It wasn't fair. But hey, life isn't...- Cordelia joked, but bit her lip by the end of the sentence. "Stupid, stupid Cordelia!!!", she thought -I'm sorry. I'm so stupid-
-It's ok. That's nothing new under the sun-
-What? That life isn't fair?-
-No, you being stupid-, Angel joked back. He smiled at her.
-Oh, boy... is that a smile?- Cordelia asked
-No- Angel frowned
-Oh, come on... it was a smile and you know it! Come on, do it again!-
-No-
-Are you ticklish, Angel?- Cordelia asked, running the tip of her index finger across his neck. Angel moved to avoid it.
-No, I'm not-
-Humm. You're lying. You are ticklish-, she said, trying to touch his neck and moving her other hand to the side of his ribs.
-Cor, stop that. I hate that...-, Angel protested, though she got a smile on his face.
-There, another smile. Ok, I'll stop, since I got what I wanted-.
-Don't you rejoice in your little victory. I bet you are ticklish yourself-
-Oh, no, not at all...- she said, walking away from him.
-Are you afraid I might try to tickle you?- he started to follow her
-Nooo...- she said, moving further away.
-Then why are you steping away?-
-I'm not- still she kept backing away
-I don't believe that-, Angel said, and with that he ran towards Cordelia and grabbed her in his arms. He started to tickle her neck and sides. She laughed and screamed and kicked to set herself free from his embrace. They fell on the floor, Angel on top of her, still torturing her with the tips of his fingers. She reached his neck and he bent in laughter. For a brief moment, she got herself on top of him, though Angel found his way through to her belly and she gave in to the tickles one more time.
Wesley and Gunn came in. They just stood there contemplating the scene, trying to figure out what exactly their friends were doing.
-That's what I call a good therapy against sadness-, Gunn whispered
-Tickles?-
-Not exactly- he said with a smirk.
-As long as it keeps his mind off Buffy- Wesley observed
-I think it has-
-And now he's having a hell of the time at the wake-, Wesley added
-Guys!-, Gunn called to Angel and Cordelia who were now bursting into tears from all the laughter. -Hey, guys!-
-Oh, forget it, they'll realise we are gone- Wesley said
-Yeah- Gunn nodded. -Ok, you two... get a room! This place has plenty of them!-
-I heard that!- Angel said
-Then do it!- Gunn replied. He and Wesley walked out.
-Do what?- Cordelia asked, trying to catch her breath and rearranging her hair.
-Get a room-, Angel laughed
-A room? For what?-
-For you and me-
-Uh?-
-That's what Gunn meant. He was teasing us-
-Oh, my... well... good thing he was joking about that-
-Is the idea so disgusting?-
-What are you talking about?-
-You and me-
-You and me?-
-Yes, you and me. Come on... stranger things have happened-
-Well, yes... but... Angel, I'm glad you're taking things a bit more lightly now... but that's not a healthy reaction-
-What are you talking about?-
-You, looking for a replacement for... Buffy. And specially me. That's just being mean-
-What? No, not Buffy. Buffy has nothing to do with this-
-Oh, come on! She's dead and now all of a sudden you're looking for the next best thing-
-You are not the next best thing. And I'm not in love with Buffy-
-Boy, you are a fast healer-
-I'm sad, yes. Brokenhearted, yes. I loved her. In all those years... no one really mattered. Not like she did. But I don't feel like I should have died with her. It's like the Romeo and Juliette madness is over. And I'm not looking for a replacement. And you are no one's replacement. It was just a comment. Don't read too much into it-
-I won't. But you brought it up, that means you thought about it... You and me-
-Of course I did. Cordelia, you were gone. You were lost in another dimension and I didn't know if I would ever see you again. And I was... desperate. I don't know what I could do without you. What is that?-
-Friendship?-
-Yes, friendship. But is that all there is? For God's sake... you broke my heart when you said you loved that Groosalugh-
-I'm sorry. You know that now that I've had a few days to think it over, I realise I wasn't in love with him. It's not love. It's more about being lonely than anything else-
-I'm... I'm...-
-Lonely?-
-I'm in love with you-
-Angel...-
-No, wait. I know you don't feel the same way. I can deal with that. But just don't close yourself to that possibility because you think I'm still in love with Buffy.
-I'm sorry, Angel. I was there. I've seen the whole soulmates thing-
-I know, but she's not my soulmate. I don't even know if I have one. But I know that every day I hope for you to be my real soulmate-
-Angel, that is beautiful. And I love you, but... this is sudden-
-And you think of me as a friend-
-My best friend. Ever.-
-Thank you-, he said, then sighed. -I should probably go to bed now-
-It's 9 in the evening-
-I'm tired-
-Ok. Good night-, Cordelia told him. Her eyes followed Angel up the stairs and once he was out of sight, they filled with tears.
-I do love you-, she whispered.
*-*-*-*-*
To Be Continued...