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~*~
Terry stared at the jar. He knew he shouldn't. The few moments of pleasure would not be worth the agonizing pain afterwards. The hell with it. He grabbed the jar of peanut butter and pulled the blackberry jam out of the fridge and made himself a peanut butter jelly sandwich. It was bliss. The peanut butter was creamy and smooth, tasting heavenly with just the perfect added flavor of the jelly. He finished up the sandwich, pouring a glass of cold milk to finish it off, and then put away all the evidence. Last thing he needed was for the redhead to find out he splurged. He would never hear the end of it.
~*~
He was so busy heaving up his guts into the toilet bowl that he didn't hear the front door open. He shouldn't have done that. Terry knew the two minutes of joy he'd had weren't worth the last few hours of pain and misery. He looked up from resting his head on cold white ceramic of the toilet to see Dino leaning up against the door jam.
"Someone had peanut butter."
"Shut up."
"You feeling bad?" Dino squatted down next to him. "Stomach achy? Throwing up everything you ate in the past day?"
Terry heaved and threw up, he wasn't sure what he was throwing up; the only thing left was the lining of his stomach, maybe.
"Serves you right."
Terry glared at him as he wiped his mouth. "What are you doing home?"
"That's nice. I'm glad to see you too."
With a smirk, he helped the Aussie to his feet and took him into the bedroom, getting him to sit down so he could help him take his shoes off. Then he plumped up the pillows and settled him back.
"Better?"
Terry managed a groan and clutched his stomach, trying to curl up to make the pain go away.
Dino had to admit his lover looked pretty dreadful: pale, sallow and bleary eyed. And when he put a hand on Terry's forehead, he was clearly running a mild fever.
"Don't go anywhere," the redhead said, pointing an accusatory finger as he left to go to the kitchen.
Terry rolled his eyes. He'd have snapped back a witty retort about imminent plans to run the London Marathon, but he couldn't find the energy to speak at that point.
Dino came back a few moments later with a glass and some ice chips.
"Here." Sitting down beside him, he gently urged the cold moisture between Terry's lips. "Come on, it'll help. You know it does. We've been here before, man."
"Thanks for reminding me," came the sullen reply.
For a minute or two, the Antipodean, peanut butter thief sucked his ice and Dino patted his leg. "Peanut butter is evil. Evil, I tell ya. I need to keep it locked up. Or keep a padlock on the kitchen cabinet! What is it with you and this stuff?"
Terry listened to the lecture in stoical silence. He'd heard it before and it wasn't like he was going anywhere any time soon to be able to avoid it.
"You're allergic. A.L.L.E.R.G.I.C. Got it? That means you can't eat it. It doesn't like you. I know you like it, but it hates you. Violently. A little pleasure's never worth this much pain."
Terry rolled his eyes, sucked on another piece of ice and listened to the continued dangers of being allowed to have free run of the kitchen. Which was funny considering how much time Dino spent cooking.
He also had some other ideas about pleasure and pain that were worth exploring at a later date. Along with some form of gag for Dino, and maybe handcuffs...
"Now repeat after me 'I will not raid the peanut butter jar'."
"Oh god..." Terry couldn't believe they were going through this again.
"Come on!"
Dino was relentless. It was one of the more charming aspects of his personality.
"I will not raid the peanut butter jar," Terry mumbled as his stomach gave a nasty lurch.
"Peanut butter is evil."
"Peanut butter is evil," Terry parroted back at him. His stomach whole heartedly agreed.
"I solemnly swear I will not eat peanut butter the minute Dino turns his back."
"Dino...!" Terry growled menacingly.
Or at least it would've been menacing had he not been curled up like a lost little boy, clutching his midriff and looking pathetic.
"Say it! Or I'm making you Brussels Sprouts for dinner and getting your ex-wife on the phone to nag you all day tomorrow."
Terry tried to burrow into his pillow. "You're mean."
But he knew Dino meant it. That was the problem.
"You love me anyway!"
A mumbled comment about annoying redheads was lost in the pillow somewhere.
"Terry..."
He blinked up at the annoying redhead he loved so much. "What?"
"Raise your right hand a promise me you won't go doing this again. If you'd eaten too much and I hadn't come home...anaphylaxis can kill you."
There was genuine alarm in Dino's voice and a touch of panic in his eyes.
"I promise you," Terry replied, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Good boy!" With a grin, the redhead stood up and headed for the kitchen. "I'll make lunch. I have a weird craving for peanut butter."
Terry threw a pillow at him. Much laughter ensued, but a short time later Dino returned with a bowl of warm chicken soup, some dry crusty bread and a spoon.
"You need something in your stomach."
"I can't."
"Yes you can. Come on. Don't make me call your ex-wife."
"Oh, that's just evil."
"Eat..." Dino held the spoon up to his lips, even prepared to feed him if need be. "I only get domestic once a year."
It did smell good.
Terry sipped from the spoon gratefully and swallowed slowly, carefully, just in case.
"Yep. That's the only reason why I do this mate," he muttered darkly, teasing his lover with this strange moment of domestic contentment, "to make you Hoover the rug and clean the toilet."
Dino rolled his eyes. "Sorry, mate, I'm leaving the toilet scrubbing to the maid."
"We have a maid?" Terry asked, a bit shocked.
The redhead snickered. "You think I keep the flat this clean?"
His stomach settled with the chicken soup, and soon he was drifting off, his body aching and exhausted. "Thank you."
Dino wrapped his arms around him and curled up next to him. "Just remember next time the peanut butter jar calls out to you - run away."
"Cos it's evil," Terry muttered sleepily.
"Yes, evil!" Dino glanced over towards the kitchen. He would toss it out in the morning. He really didn't want anything in their home that could so easily take Terry from him. "Very evil."
~ The End ~