Work Text:
Exchange
by Angelchase
http://www.geocities.com/lifeisbittersweet
The Hyperion
Angel and Cordelia are sitting in the lobby. In silence.
ANGEL: When did it all became so complicated?
CORDELIA: Was it ever simple?
ANGEL: What?
CORDELIA: You know... save the world, fight the big evil... doesn't sound simple.
ANGEL: No. No... I meant... between us.
CORDELIA: Us? What's wrong with us?
ANGEL: You. You are getting away from me... more and more far away each day.
CORDELIA: No! Angel... don't say that.
ANGEL: But you are.
CORDELIA: It's just... It has nothing to do with you.
ANGEL: Then what's wrong?
CORDELIA: I am.
ANGEL: There's nothing wrong with you... You're as perfect as anyone can be. Caring, sweet, smart... And most of all loyal. God knows what I've put you through over the last years, and you still with me.
CORDELIA: I am not any of that, Angel. I'm sorry. There's something you need to know...
ANGEL: What is it? Cordy, you're worrying me.
CORDELIA: The night before Connor was abducted, I had a vision...
ANGEL: You saw it? Connor being taken?
CORDELIA: I saw Wesley taking Connor...
ANGEL: And you didn't tell me?
CORDELIA: I thought it was ok. It was Wesley! And then I saw Connor in this nice looking place, smiling. I thought it was a way of telling me everything was damn fine!
ANGEL: So you now take the liberty to figure out your visions.
CORDELIA: Angel, don't be mean. I know what they feel like, and this one felt "safe".
ANGEL: So, you're telling me that Connor is alright?
CORDELIA: I think he is. I've been having visions of him since he was taken by Holtz.
ANGEL: So that's... that's good. You should have said something sooner.
CORDELIA: There's something else...
ANGEL: What?
Cordelia stands up and walks across the room.
CORDELIA: Two weeks ago... you know, the night I came back...
ANGEL: *THAT* night...
CORDELIA: A few minutes before you came to my place, I had another vision.
ANGEL: About Connor? Was he ok?
CORDELIA: Yes, about Connor. And he was fine. The vision... It was more like a message from Holtz.
ANGEL: What was it?
CORDELIA: I know how to bring back Connor, Angel.
ANGEL: You know? You really know? How? For God's sake, Cordelia! How?
CORDELIA: There was no point on telling you sooner, because it can only be done tonight... Holtz wants me instead of Connor. Well, of course he wants you to feel the pain you -I mean, Angelus- put him through, but he's like a good guy deep down. And he's willing to give Connor his life back with you, if he gets mine in exchange.
ANGEL: He wants to take you away from me?
CORDELIA: Yes, Angel. A small price to pay to have your son back.
ANGEL: Is this why you've been avoiding *our talk*, avoiding *me*?
CORDELIA: Angel, I'm gonna do it. You know I am. There's no point in making it more painfull.
ANGEL: No, Cordy. We will find another way.
CORDELIA: Angel, stop the crap. You know Connor has a whole life ahead.
ANGEL: And so do you. I can't let you do this. Why does he want you? What will he do to you?
CORDELIA: He doesn't want *me* for myself. He just wants to keep us apart. And it's fair enough... though it could be a huge drawback in your path to redemption if you don't get another seer.
ANGEL: I'm sorry Cordelia, but that's out of the question. You are not going anywhere.
CORDELIA: Picture this, Angel. Connor in your arms. His sweet smile lighting up everything, his baby scent all over the place...
ANGEL: What about the darkness of not having you around?
CORDELIA: Stop, Angel. We're not in Sunnydale anymore. There are sacrifices to be made, and it can't all be taken as a Shakespeare tragedy. You know I'm not going to change my mind. I've been trying to avoid this, I know. But ever since you came to my place the night I got back, I couldn't stop thinking about it. You were a mess, you needed comfort, and God knows I needed it too. I could see all of your heart, no restrains... your pain over Connor. And then you told me that you loved me. And I already knew Holtz conditions for Connor to come back. I couldn't make it more painfull, Angel. But now it's only fair to let you know. I love you too. And that's why I'm leaving tonight. I'm leaving because you deserve to be with your son. I know you've suffered enough, and I love you too much to see you in pain.
ANGEL: Don't get me wrong, Cordelia. I want Connor here as much as anyone could want anything. But I want you here, too. It can't be one or another. You are not going anywhere...
CORDELIA: It's not up to you to choose, Angel. Please, I don't want to get mad at you during my last couple of hours with you. I'm doing it, and you can't make me change my mind.
ANGEL: I will not quarrell with you, 'cause I know I never stand a chance of winning. But we can try to find another way. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused Holtz, and I understand he wants revenge, but think about your life. Would you stand to be in another dimension knowing that you left all your family behind?
CORDELIA: You're not helping Angel. Don't you think I realised that? It will be painfull. The thought of it already is. But it hurts more to see everyone suffer for not having Connor. Specially you. And also Wesley. And what about Connor? He's so innocent... he deserves to have a life with you. And since I mentioned Wesley... Angel, give the guy a break. He made a terrible, huge mistake. But he intended good...
ANGEL: Even if his stupidity is now taking you away from me? I'm not that good of a person, Cordelia. I can't let it go.
CORDELIA: You'll need him by your side. Please, Angel. For me?
ANGEL: For you... You are incredible, Cor. You should want him more dead than I do, and still...
CORDELIA: I don't want anybody dead. There's too much pain already. Why add some more? Promise me you will forgive him.
ANGEL: I promise.
Angel takes her hand and leads her to the couch. They embrace each other.
ANGEL: I always pictured the moment you told me you loved me, and it was never liked this.
CORDELIA: So weary?
ANGEL: Yes. You and Connor have become everything to me. And I'm in love and have a son. Pretty much everything I ever dreamed of. And still, fate kicks me when I am down. It's like choosing who must live or die.
CORDELIA: No one is dying. I'm just... leaving. But I'll be alright. And you'll be too.
ANGEL: You know I won't. And I know you won't either. So don't go.
CORDELIA: I have to. For Connor.
ANGEL: I'll get Connor back. He's my son. I'll get him back.
CORDELIA: You know it is not safe for you to try. Come on, Angel. It's a good deal, don't spoil it.
ANGEL: It's not a good deal. It's no deal at all. I wish someone would give *me* a break. I'm so tired of all this, Cordelia. I'm tired of watching everyone in pain, leaving or being left behind. I don't want to give up, but sometimes I feel like taking the easy way out.
CORDELIA: There's no easy way out. We'll just have to deal with things as they come. It's about what's at stake. You once told me that. And Connor is... Besides, we should wait and see what happens. Nothing is so definitive. Don't give up. I hang on hope. Hope that maybe some day I will be able to return to you, Connor and the rest of my strange family. If I believe everything is over, I might just spoil Holtz party and go for the Romeo & Juliette ending...
ANGEL: (slight smile) How will a smile if you're not around?
CORDELIA: You'll have lots of reasons to smile about. Or at least not to frown... when no one spills nail polish on the couch...
ANGEL: I love you, Cordy.
CORDELIA: And I love you. Now, just kiss me and smile for me and hold me for the rest of the night, will you?
-THE END-