SquidgeWorld Archive

Another day, another crime successfully fought and stopped. And another bevy of beautiful beach bunnies that were grateful to Superboy. It was the second annual Miss Kryptonite contest, and some loser stupid enough to try and snatch one of the entrant's purses was now being led off to jail by Roxy and her partner, while Kon reaped the rewards of being a hero. Surrounded by a group of smiling, wiggling, giggling girls, who kept kissing, touching, and veritably stroking him, Kon couldn't think of anywhere he'd rather be. It was definitely the life.

Then again, there were some things to be said for the weekly YJ meetings. Even if the cave was sort of drafty, it was great getting to hang out with his friends, especially Robin. Only...not when Robin was brooding. Kon sighed as he watched his friend pretend to scan for crime on the big screen, while in reality he was down in the dumps and seeking reasons to be dirtier. Why couldn't Rob just learn to leave his problems in Gotham, where they belonged? "Yo, Robin, how's it hangin'?" Kon called as he walked into the security room and flopped down in an empty chair. He surreptitiously wiggled around once he'd sat, thinking that maybe they should get some cushions, because that plastic was harder than one of Cissie's crab cakes... "Considering that I wear a jock, it isn't actually 'hanging' per se," Robin said, in that tone of voice that indicated he was trying to use a badly-told joke to distract someone from his oh-so-obvious issues. Or maybe it was just obvious to Kon because the boy could not banter. At least with friends, as opposed to enemies. He always sounded tense. "Here I thought that switching from the short-shorts to leggings would have let your boys breathe a bit," Kon said, pointedly eying Robin's crotch until he started to squirm. The boy also did not stand up well to scrutiny of anything...personal. Robin finally huffed and turned back to scanning the news on the giant computer screen. "What?" he asked testily. "Something's up with you, man." Kon gave a laconic shrug. "I think even Bart could see it...if he were here." Kon squinted around the darkened corners and crevices of the cave, trying to catch a glimpse of speedster red and white. "Where is Imp, anyway?" Things were too quiet around the Justice Cave, and that boded ill for anyone with any sanity - well, more than Bart, at any rate. "He said something about his friend Carol, and no, it wasn't a date, but he didn't know what it was," Robin replied, dutifully replaying their friend's message word for word, with the appropriate alterations for point of view. Kon blinked. Impulse...dating. "Scary thought," he opined. Bart couldn't hold a thought in his head for more than an objective minute; also, he didn't appreciate the views of half-naked chicks in the pin-up calendar Kon had donated to decorate the walls. Robin made that little choked noise that was his version of a laugh. "Tell me about it," he muttered. Ah, the perfect opening. "No, why don't you tell me about your problem," Kon said. Robin stilled. Kon thought he was going to take off - "Oh, look! Crime! Let's go fight some!" - but instead he just switched off the audio feed to the monitor. "What if I have more than one problem?" he asked, head bowed, eyes no doubt focused on the floor with the same intensity he'd previously held on the monitor. Kon snorted. "Of course you have more than one problem - you're a Bat." Bats always had issues; it was like a prerequisite for working in Gotham. "But I meant what's bothering you now?" Robin turned to look at him. "Kon, can I...ask you something? Something...personal?" He fiddled with his gloves, doing...something to them that Kon couldn't figure out. Probably the Robin equivalent of twiddling his thumbs. Kon thought about saying yes and then giving a list of qualifiers but really, no. He'd never in a million years be able to think up all the strings a Bat could. "Sure, man. Can't guarantee I'll answer, though." Robin's lips twitched up momentarily and then he looked away once more. "I...uh... How many people have you kissed?" he blurted out almost faster than Bart. Kon blinked. He cocked his head to the side and used his TTK to clean out the wax in his ears, thinking that he might have heard wrong. Nothing was in his ears besides hair, though, and so he blinked again. He had no idea why Robin would want to know something like that. But he'd always been more of a, 'Why not?' kind of person, so... "That's...well, I wasn't expecting you to ask that, but..." But there was really no reason he could think of not to tell; if anyone could be discreet, it was Rob. "Well, let's see... There were twenty-two honeys at the Miss Kryptonite contest last year, and twenty-seven this year..." Kon thought back. "And Tana, of course, Serling and Roxy-" his first, fourth, and seventh, "-and Cissie and Cassie at the Christmas party last year - I love mistletoe, by the way - and a few more people you've never met..." He tallied up the numbers mentally, and blinked in surprise at the answer. "Huh. I've kissed exactly sixty girls." Nearly all of them more than once, but he wasn't actually counting the number of kisses. "Why do you ask?" Robin blushed and looked away. "Nightwing was saying something the other day and it got me to thinking." Snorting, Kon said, "Vague much, Wonder Boy?" A teeny-tiny smile appeared on Robin's lips oh-so-briefly. "It's just...he was saying something about how the superhero set tends to be rather insular." It took a moment for Kon to parse Robin's geek-speak. "Tight-knit, yeah," Kon agreed. "What does that have to do with kissing?" "Well, how many superheroes have you kissed?" Robin responded. It only took a few moments for Kon to figure it out. "Four," he replied. "Unless Traya counts." Robin looked at him sideways. "Traya? Reddy's daughter Traya?" Kon flushed slightly and looked away. "Well, it was more like she kissed me. But yeah." Little kids were really affectionate. Like Bart. And even though Bart was smart, he really wasn't...mature. Which was kinda nice, like when he'd discovered National Hug Day and gone around speed-hugging everyone all weekend. Even Robin, who had mostly looked amused, instead of all...pinched and withdrawn like he was looking now. "Why do you want to know?" Kon asked bluntly. Robin ruled at prevarication, and Kon only had so much patience. "I...I just..." Robin finally caved and answered all in one breath, "Nightwing promised me that if I managed to get kissed by more superheroes than he had by the same age, he'd stop harping on me finding a new girlfriend. And he'd kissed four, too, but I've only kissed three, even sneaking one from Nightwing to try and win the bet." Kon's jaw dropped. That was so completely unexpected he never would have thought of it in a million years. Well...maybe a million. Possibly a couple thousand. And only another Bat would threaten Robin. "I thought you were dating that Spoiler chick," Kon said, once his voice decided to return, albeit squeakily, like a flying mouse. Robin shrugged uncomfortably. "I was, um, sort of, but before we started dating, she'd been seeing some other guy, and..." He cut himself off there, and the silent stretched between them, like the salt water taffy Cissie had brought back with them from her trip to the Wendy: The Werewolf Stalker set. "And?" Kon coaxed, sensing there was more to the story. "...and she just found out she's pregnant, and the other guy is history, the jerk, and I'm taking her to Lamaze classes instead of the movies," Robin answered, face slightly flushed. Kon blinked. He shook his head slightly, and then blinked again. For some reason, he'd never given much thought to teenage pregnancy. Being a sort-of-clone/sort-of-test-tube-kid that most likely was sterile might have had something to do with it. Or maybe it was just that he wasn't female. "Ooookay. And you, uh, don't want to play Dad to the kid?" he asked, trying to keep his voice nonjudgmental. Robin's mouth twisted up in a wry half-grin, one that was more self-mocking than humorous. "More like she's planning on giving the baby up for adoption, and I realized that Spoiler and I don't really have enough in common to seriously date." Kon could see that. Robin was...very controlled, and this Spoiler sounded like she, well, wasn't. Neither way was right or wrong, but they didn't always mesh up well. He should know. He and Cassie were the same way, just switched. "She's the kinda girl who'll end up pregnant and you're not the kind of guy that would get her pregnant?" Kon guessed. "I...well, really I was going to say that I'm more responsible than her, but...yeah, I guess," Robin agreed after a moment's wavering uncertainty. "Dude, sometimes I'd swear that you're more responsible than Superman," Kon joked. He wasn't kidding, either. Snorting, Robin shook his head. "I'm...not going to argue with you, Kon. I just...I don't know what to do now." "Find someone to kiss," Kon suggested, lounging back in his chair. Robin rolled his eyes. "Riiiight. The only superheroes left in Gotham that I haven't kissed are Batman and Huntress, and I'm pretty sure she'd kick my ass." No need to mention what Batman could do. Robin sighed, fiddled with the scaling on his gloves, and then asked, "Any other bright ideas?" Shrugging, Kon joked, "Well, I don't think giving you a box of crayons would help..." That was what Bart had done for him during his little identity crisis, and it had, actually, helped. Helped him think, which was what he'd needed to do. Robin, however, thought too much, and this situation called for action. Robin snorted softly. "Probably not. Thanks for listening, though. That did help." And Robin was smiling slightly, and looking kind of happy despite his problems - maybe because he could share them with a friend - and Kon didn't even think, just leaned over and kissed him. If Robin had tensed, Kon was pretty sure things would have been fucked up beyond...well, beyond his ability to repair with any reasonable swiftness. As it was, Robin just gasped in shock, which left his mouth open, and ripe for Kon's tongue to slip inside. Correction; a bevy of babes was nice, but there was nowhere he'd rather be than kissing his best friend. Robin, who was kissing him back with way more enthusiasm than experience, but he was shaking in Kon's arms, and his arms were clenching spasmodically around Kon's waist, and God, he'd never gotten this hard this fast since the first few times. What was it about Rob that made him feel like a normal teenager? Kon moaned into the kiss, and that caused Robin to press harder against him for a few moments, before they were both out of breath. Not that Kon actually needed to breathe as often as a human, but he kept forgetting that. Also? Robin was a pretty damn good kisser, and had that whole 'take your breath away' thing going on. But then, Robin must have been getting a lot of practice lately. When they finally parted, Kon felt like he had a fever. Robin was looking rather flushed himself, but Kon wasn't sure if that wasn't from embarrassment. "Was...was that okay?" he asked, venturing to break the anxious silence between them. Robin just stared at him for a moment long moment, and then slowly, a smile broke out on his face. "Yeah." Kon's mouth quirked up in a half-grin, a withheld breath gusting from between his parted lips. "Yeah?" Eyes twinkling, Robin confirmed, "Yeah." "Cool," Kon pronounced, and dropped another kiss on Robin's lips. "Let me know if you ever need...to talk, 'kay?" There was only so much emotional upheaval he could take before he needed to lose himself in some mindless teenage activity like video games or channel-surfing. He floated backwards towards the door, grateful to be able to make an escape. Tim blinked in the wake of Kon's departure, trying and failing to come up with an explanation for what had just happened. Licking his lips for a taste of Kon, he realized that Kon must use cherry-flavored chapstick. His list was complete, but somehow he felt that his real test was only just beginning. And maybe Dick was right about him needing to start dating again. He was just wrong about him needing a girlfriend.