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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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2,372
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1/1
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10
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HALFWAY TO AFTERNOON

Summary:

What did Ares do while Xena and Gabrielle were frozen in the ice cave?

Work Text:

HALFWAY TO AFTERNOON

There was absolutely nothing that would have indicated that this morning would be any different than the mornings of all previous yesterdays. Absolutely nothing. Mornings are tough for me. They signify the start of a new day, full of promise, and then nothing happens. It has been like this for so long that I can't even really remember what I want to happen. Every morning I open my eyes, walk out and sit under a tree overlooking the ocean and start to drink wine. By noon, I am already drunk, so I don't have to worry any more.

"I am Ares, god of war. . . . " There is no one to hear my bellicose oratory, which is probably just as well. As the day progresses I will get louder and more profane. Sometimes I don't even like to listen to myself.

So this morning, while I was not surprised to see a horseman traveling the main road, it was a shock when the rider came down the road to my villa. The sun gleamed off the coat of the white steed and off the armor of the Roman Centurion. It is not often I have visitors, and this one seemed official. Maybe, because I was already halfway to afternoon, he decided to show some patience and listen to me tell my story.

* * * *

"Don't worry. I have plenty of wine. Have some." I fill a glass for him out of my large ewer.

"Look at these grapes, the vines grow heavy with fruit, all the way to the sea. The villagers have wine festivals for me. Think I am somehow related to Bacchus. Anyway having enough wine is never something that I have to worry about. So sit down beside me, next to this olive tree, feel the spring breeze in your face, and I'll tell you why a Greek god is living here, outside of Rome, alone and drunk"

"My sister Athena was never one of my favorites. As the goddess of wisdom she thought she was smarter than everyone else was, and she did not take kindly to the foolishness of our other family members. Part of that I understood. A common trait of my family members was being a little thick in the head. Likewise, we are very quick to act without thinking. We never have looked far enough into the future to consider the consequences of our actions. Lots of stupid things have happened when we Gods didn't carry thoughts out to the final conclusions.

"Probably the best, or is it the worst, example of that is my half-brother, Hercules. My father just wanted a roll in the hay with what was, even I have to admit, a simply stunning mortal woman. No one ever accused my father of being faithful to his wife, Hera, and you would have thought over the years that she would have gotten used to it. However, when dear old dad knocked up Alcmeme and the bastard child, Hercules, was born, things got a little messy. The whole world suffered for my father's not realizing that the dalliance could have produced a child. If he only could have waited a few more days.

"Hercules! I know you didn't come to listen to me talk about my brother. I find him a little boring, too; but contrary to what you may have heard, I don't really hate him. All that "father liked you best " is part of a game siblings play. I knew he had self-doubts about being half-mortal and a bastard, and I like to play with his mind. I liked to make him think that I would kill him if I could, but the truth is that if some other god had gone after him, I would have . . .. actually I did once, or was it twice . . . fought by his side.

"My relationship with my family is why I am here now. An expatriate. Rome isn't a bad place to be, nice temperature, good food, lots of wine, lots of women, lots of wars. . . . Sorry, kind of lost me on that train of thought. Back to my family, on Mt. Olympus.

"I went back home after I hid Xena's body thinking that everything was finished. The baby who some crazy prophet had said would bring about the end of the reign of the Olympian Gods was dead. When a person burns most people expect the remains to be dust. Dust to dust. The rest of that phrase says ashes to ashes. More like cinders and clinkers. Heavy and gravelly. I tossed the child's remains in the sea. They seemed so inhuman.

"Still Athena was honked off that I hadn't brought Xena's body back to Olympus. I cannot even begin to think what she might have wanted to do with Xena's body, but she is never going to get the chance. I have respect for my warriors, and Xena was my greatest warrior. I hid her body, and that of her friend, so well that I can't even go back and be with her. Did it on purpose. Didn't want to go back and try to resurrect her -- you know like I think about doing every night when I wake up from my afternoon wine nap. I hid her to protect her from me.

"We argued a lot about my returning her body. The other gods seemed to take Athena's side. Even peons like Discord and Demos who had always hung on to me like kittens on your ankle. Since 'Thena had decided that she was the rightful heir to my father's position as King of the Gods, she issued an ultimatum for me to produce Xena's body.

"I wasn't drinking quite so much then, and I believe I produced what was, if not a valid argument, at least one that was presented with style and eloquence. I spoke of how Xena was one of my finest warriors. Her physical prowess and fearlessness could not be challenged. She had traveled the world and embraced the fighting styles of all of mankind. You know the story.

"As powerful as Xena was, she was also smart. Think that might have been what Athena really didn't like. Xena had a way with words. She could bend them and twist them to her own purpose. I think Athena was still thinking that there might have been a "catch" in her death somewhere. It had been stated by the fates that Xena must die before her daughter would bring about the twilight. Was Xena just playing another game? Was they twilight still coming?

"I assured my sister that this was not the case. That Xena and the child were dead. She didn't believe me. Or she didn't think that my word was strong enough to base the entire future of the Olympian gods upon. Maybe she's right. I just know that Xena is dead.

"Anyway. She told me that if she hadn't been bound by the "gods can't kill other gods" rule my father always quoted, my punishment for my insubordination would have been death. But since she couldn't kill me. . . why do I always smile when I say this. . . she sent me out of the country. Out of the realm. This is why I am here, in this small villa on the Roman countryside. Living a life of. . . . excuse me for a second, I have to rest my eyes. . .

* * * *

"That's better." I reach out, grab my goblet and take a big swig.

"That's not wine!" I bellow as the cool liquid runs down my throat.

"It's water," the young man says. "You may have all the time in the world, but I do not. The man I work for believes in schedules. He would not be impressed to know that I am wasting time watching you sleep. As nice as this place is."

"Sorry, so sorry. I guess I do drink a little too much."

"Go on with your story though. I have always been puzzled at how a Greek god ended up on Rome."

"It's not that difficult. I was ostracized, remember. I'd been to Rome many times. Used to have this thing with Caesar, Julius Caesar. He was one of my favorites, too. I really went for his style until he started messing with Xena. Gave him another chance in Britannia though and he messed up that one, too. But, I digress far too much.

"I know you have a god of war. That Mars guy. Funny, I've never seen him around. Sometimes I think that you Romans just took the Greek gods and gave them Latin names. They aren't really different gods; just my family . . . renamed."

"I've thought that, too. I don't remember anyone ever seeing one of the Roman gods, but you Greek gods have come through a few times. I actually saw your sister, Athena a while back, when she was here looking for that Joxer guy. You know the one who runs the Xena museum."

"Foolish mule. I've been there once, looked at all her stuff, or things that he thinks look like her stuff. I'll guarantee that the chakram he has is fake, because hers in hanging over her sword stuck in her coffin.

"Never went back, mostly because I can't stand to look at his wife. Meg. Xena without her personality. Dumb as a box of rocks. Lusting after Joxer. Coarse and unrefined."

"Excuse me, I'm sorry I mentioned it."

"I think I was the one who rambled off on that path."

"Could have just as easily been a rant on your sister, being here. . .

 

"And not stopping by. Hell, I wouldn't expect it. Glad she didn't. The less I see of her, the better."

"So how long have you been in Rome?"

"Off and on, about twenty years. I've taken side trips all over the world, but always end up back here. Don't know why. Seems a little like home."

"Haven't been doing much on the war front then?"

"Learned a long time ago that wars can run themselves. I'm content to watch, listen to both sides pray to me, and drink the wine people leave."

"Not a very fulfilling life."

"You . . . a human . . . are telling me how to live."

"I just have a suggestion."

"What?"

"Don't you think it is time you find another champion? If you are an immortal, and I'm going to believe you on that one, don't you think you have to find something to do to fill up your time?"

"Yea, but how do you go about doing that? There aren't a lot of openings for former gods of war."

"That's exactly why I am here today, I have a proposition. Of maybe you might say, a job offer."

"You want to hire me. I'm not a mercenary; I am a god. "

"Not me, my emperor, Augustus Caesar. He is looking for a man to help train one of his warriors. A very special warrior."

"I'm listening"

"I don't know much about her past."

"HER past, you say. Now I'm really listening"

"This girl, young woman really, has been living with his family in the provinces. I think an oracle told him that she was the one chosen to be his successor . . . and his wife. . . Anyway she has received the best of schooling and has been trained as a warrior. However, she's outstripped even what his finest generals can teach her, he needs something more."

"And Mars isn't available. I take it."

"Anyway, he sent me to find you, Ares, and ask if you might be willing to help with her education in the way of war. He's heard of Xena and really liked what people have told him about her. Wondered if you might help mold this Livia in the same image."

"There will never be another Xena."

"He knows that, he just wants to have her teacher to train Livia."

"I'll think about it, come back tomorrow."

"I'll be here early, while you're still sober."

* * * *

I watch as the centurion rides away, shaking his head. He probably does not believe in gods. That is probably just as well. We have messed things up on a godly scale, with me doing my part exceptionally well.

This Livia thing is going to require some thought. I need a little time to mull things, besides wine, over in my mind. Gods usually heal quickly, physically at least. The wounds caused by Xena's death I have carried with me for twenty years. I have sworn, I have mourned, I have even cried, and I still miss her. I loved her, but I couldn't tell her that. Not to her face. Not until she was dead.

Maybe the centurion is right. An immortal cannot spend eternity in a state of drunken stupor. Perhaps I do need to try to start again with a new pupil. At least now I will get another chance, and I hope I do better this time. I doubt if this woman will have even half of Xena's talent, but that will give me more things to have to teach her. One thing I can tell you for certain, I am not going to fall in love with this Livia. A god learns from his . . . mistakes.

Holing out here I don't even know about the latest in weaponry. Have to do some research on that. We can start with the basics though. I always like to start there. Yea, I'll do it. We can leave tomorrow. I'll sharpen my sword, polish the metal trim on my leathers, and get a good night's sleep. I'll be ready to ride off with this young centurion and meet this Livia. I am Ares, god of War. I'll not be a footnote in the annals of history. "