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"Look Jay, I'm sorry. I just got so tangled up in things, that I didn't know how it was affecting
you. And I'm sorry for the things that I have done to you and the things I said to you. I think
that we should start to see other people. I am being completely honest with myself, and you,
about what I want. Besides, if we stay together, I will only hurt you again, and that is the very
last thing that I want to do. You mean so much to me, and I'm only doing what I think is best."
Jay stared at his boyfriend in surprise. Things had seemed okay lately, to him, but apparently
something was wrong, if Lex wanted to start seeing other people. Not fully understanding why
things had changed so suddenly, he asked, "Why do you want to start seeing other people? I
love you, Lex." Jay said softly. Lex shook his head no. "You say that you love me, but yet you
never pay attention to me anymore. You never say that you care, and you never show me love."
Lex sighed softly, "You would never even notice if I was gone." Jay didn't know that his boyfriend
had been feeling this way. "But Lex, baby, I love you. I am sure that all of this is just a really big
misunderstanding, and that we can fix things, if you'll just give me another chance." Jay said softly,
his tone pleading. Lex shook his head no. "No, because if I stay with you, then I will only go back to
cheating on you again, when you ignore me, or when and if you forget again, you and I are together."
Jay didn't know what to say for once in his lifetime. He was utterly and completely speechless. Lex
didn't say anything else to Jay. He just got up from their bed, dressed quickly and silently, and then
walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. Jay threw himself back on the bed, with
a loud sigh. Things were so damn complicated now, and so confusing right now, that he had no idea
what they should do, or what they were even going to do. There was just so much going on right now,
he didn't know what to do.
Ram and Darryl had died, when they had gotten zapped by the Techno's prison guards, when the Mall rats
had gotten to the island to free the prisoners. Lex stood quietly in the hallway. He was leaning a little bit
of his weight against the wall, waiting to see if Jay was going to call him back. When 10 minutes had passed,
without Jay calling him back, Lex straightened himself up, and then he walked away, going back to his room.
Lex silently walked back into his bedroom a few minutes later, not knowing what else there was to do anymore.
Jay was still lying down in his bed, wondering how and when things had gone so wrong between himself
and Lex. He sighed, when there was a quick knock on his door. Getting up, Jay opened the door and he
was surprised, to find his younger brother on the other side of the door. "What is it? What's wrong?" Jay
asked his brother, concerned. Ved walked inside of Jay's room, and he gently closed the door. "I could
ask you the same thing. I just saw Lex walk out, and he looked really upset. So what is wrong, Jay?"
"Lex is always upset, you know that. And what's so strange about him leaving my room? We were just
having a talk about several things." Ved sighed. "Jay, I know that you love him. So why are you letting
him go?" Lex was just finishing cleaning up his room, when he heard someone knocking on his door. With
a loud sigh, he said softly, "Come in, the door's open." He was surprised when Jay walked through the
door a moment later. "What are you doing here? I thought you want the two of us to end things."
Lex began to get angry. "So why are you here? You and I can no longer be together. You're just too
damn innocent for me, and I can't take it anymore." Lex admitted t Jay. "But what if I love you?" Jay
asked Lex softly. "You don't love me. So you should just go, and don't look back. There is nothing left
for me to say, you wanna hear. It would only be a lie. And I don't wanna lie, so I think that I should go,
'cause the things I have done are way too shameful. I lied to you many times, and cheated on you too
many times, for us to be any good to each other still." Lex said softly, seriously.
Jay was shocked. He had thought and wanted to overcome everything. Lex looked Jay in the eyes.
"You ignore me, or forget about me sometimes, but that is okay. However, I am much worse than
that, much worse. I treat you so bad, and I use you so wrong, yet you still claim to love me, how
can you, after everything that I've said and done, just to get to you?" Jay opened and closed his
mouth several times, as he tried to speak, and think of what there was to say. Finally, several
moments later, he could speak. "I don't just claim to love you. I do. You mean the world to me."
Jay said softly. "I love you, Lex." Lex shook his head no. "But I cheated on you, and at times, I
strung you along, yet you don't seem angry about this, why?" "Because we make mistakes, and
we have to forgive them, or we could lose another one of our friend's, and that's the last thing I
want to happen." Jay said softly. Lex threw his hands up, not really understanding the way things
were going now. "I love you, but I don't want us to get back together, only to go and repeat our
past mistakes." Jay said softly. Lex nodded. "I love you too, Jay. But I just don't know how I got
so tangled up in everything, all of the deception and all of the lies, that surround us, just never
seem to end..."
The End.