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English
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
688
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
15
Hits:
927

Torn Apart

Summary:

Will Brian be able to love Justin the way he needs to be loved?

Work Text:

The door to the loft opens, and then closes harshly. His hand that's holding the paintbrush, goes still. He hears the sound of footsteps, as they go into another room. There's the sound of clothes being thrown on the floor. Next he hears muttered curses, and then the sound of the shower running. He picks up the paintbrush, trying to get back to his peaceful place, but can't. The silence, which was shattered at the sound of the door opening and closing, seems many miles away and he wonders if there will ever be a time, when they won't shut each other out.

Going back to his painting, he thinks about telling Brian, it's their weekend with Gus, but then thinks better of it. He knows that Brian has been busy lately, and even though they see each other every morning and night, nothing is the same. They no longer see each other as they once
did. The painting, which was supposed to be for one of his art classes, wasn't coming along. It looked just like he felt, worn and washed out,
like it was tired of waiting to be used. He ponders what to do now. Nothing immediately comes to mind. So Justin only sighs softly.

Before he can stop himself, he picks up the cup of paint that was at his side, and throws it onto the painting, liking the distorted expression that it now wore. The painting, which was of himself and Brian, on the night of his prom, now seemed to show just how that evening played out. The dark black, which covered their happy expressions, looked like a river of black tears threatening to pull him under, and never release him. Everyone says that an artist's feelings show up in all their paintings. They have no idea just how right they are.

Suddenly, there's the sound of footsteps, and he knows Brian's wondering what's happened. Justin listens to the sound of his partner coming up behind him. Next, he feels arms wrapping around his waist, and it's all he can do, to not pry Brian off him. Though as he thinks about it, that's not a bad idea. Justin removes himself from Brian's grasp, noting that as he does it, his partner is surprised, but trying not to show it. "Bad day?" Brian asks, as he grabs a cigarette and lighter off the counter. His tone was neutral, as if Justin's behavior was perfectly normal.

Then again, maybe to Brian, it was normal. They had been ignoring one another for the last three weeks, acting as if everything was fine, even though it wasn't. Justin opened his mouth to ask when things had come to this. When had they had stopped communicating, altogether? It used to be, if Justin wanted, or needed to talk, they would, after a blowjob, or some rough sex. But now they weren't having sex, and that worried Justin more than he wanted to admit. He wondered how much more of this he could take. Things were falling apart, at the seams.

Justin looked at Brian, who was just relaxing in a chair, smoking his cigarette, a circle of smoke surrounding him. Justin wondered what would happen if he left. Would Brian even come after him? Would his partner plead, beg for him to stay? Justin answered his own question with a laugh. Of course Brian wouldn't beg him to stay. He always said, "No apologies, no regrets." With a sigh, Justin began to gather up all of his belongings.

He looked at Brian, who hadn't moved. There was something in his partner's eyes that scared Justin. The look Brian wore showed he knew exactly what Justin was thinking, and didn't even care. Brian was going to just let him go, and wouldn't try to stop him. His heart heavy, and feeling like he was being torn apart, Justin grabbed his things, and left. He was sad at leaving the man, and place, that had been his home for the last several years. Tears formed in his eyes, but Justin knew he needed to move on.

The End.