SquidgeWorld Archive

Gil smiled fondly as he watched Nick open his presents. It had been a hard task to keep the younger man in bed until eight a.m., but he'd managed it. They'd been up late going to a midnight Mass the night before, something Gil enjoyed for the sheer ritual and aesthetics, if not the actual Dogma. It had been a first for Nick and even though he wasn't Catholic, Gil was sure that his lover had enjoyed it. He'd certainly enjoyed singing the carols, startling those around them with his loud, enthusiastic singing.

"Oh, cool!" Nick exclaimed, holding up his latest prize.

Grinning outright at the top-level binoculars Nick waved around, Gil warned teasingly, "Those are for birds of the feathered sort, Nicky."

Nick made a face at him and retorted, "We'd have to actually leave Vegas for me to use these things, if that's a condition."

Gil chuckled. "Why don't you open the card that came with it? Not that you're supposed to do that first, or anything."

Nick had the grace to look embarrassed as he quickly snatched the card from the paper wrapping discards. He took longer to read the card than Gil expected and it worried him a little when Nick went still while doing so. When Nick looked at him, his eyes were wide with shock and Gil frowned. Before he could even open his mouth to ask what was wrong, Nick launched himself at Gil, tackling him to the sofa.

Startled by the behavior, Gil wrapped his arms around Nick's shoulders and asked softly, "What's wrong, Nicky?"

Nick's voice was muffled against Gil's shoulder as he answered, "I don't deserve you."

Back to insecurities, Gil thought with a silent sigh. He'd thought they were long passed it, but every now and again, Nick's innate sense of inferiority rose up to bite him on the ass. It all stemmed from that damn babysitter who'd abused Nick when he was too young to defend himself.

Kissing Nick's ear, just about the only part he could get to, Gil assured him, "You deserve more than me, Nicky. You deserve the world, my boy, and I want to give whatever of it I can to you. Now come on, sit up."

Nick heaved a sigh, but obeyed.

Gil stretched his legs out on the coffee table, something he rarely did, and tucked Nick against him, under a shoulder. "Now then. Tell me what's really going on in that head of yours."

After playing with the tie on Gil's robe a long minute, Nick confessed, "I'm scared."

"Of what?" Gil prompted gently.

"The last time things were this good, something really bad happened. Every time my life goes really good like this, something bad happens to me. It's like I'm cursed," Nick admitted.

The last 'bad thing' being kidnapped and buried alive. Not an inconsequential fear, to have to go through something like that again. Lacing his fingers with Nick's, Gil thought a moment before answering, "In our line of work, there's always the possibility that something could go horribly wrong. Like you. Like Greg. Like Catherine. I sometimes feel as though someone is punishing me by hurting those I love the most, leaving me helpless on the sidelines."

"Oh, Gil," Nick breathed.

Gil put a finger over his lover's mouth and continued, "You've all become my family over the years and when something happens to any of you, it...I die a little, every time. Don't ever think you're alone in being afraid, Nicky, and remember that no matter what, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. And if I fail, which I know I have in the past, I will be there to give whatever you need when it's over."

Nick scrambled out of Gil's arms only to straddle his lap. Gripping Gil's shoulders tightly, Nick told him, "You've never failed me, Gil, I swear. I love you so much, I don't want you taking that on, please?"

Gil half-smiled and replied, "I suppose I could try."

"Good. Although, there is something you could do for me."

Glad to see the mischievous light return to his lover's eyes, Gil asked, "Oh? What's that?"

Strong fingers stroked over his bare cheeks as Nick requested, "Grow the beard back, Daddy?"

Swallowing against the sudden lust that surged through him, Gil cleared his throat and answered, "I might be able to manage that."

Nick grinned and squirmed on him before saying, "This is definitely the best Christmas ever. Hey, when do we leave?"

"I was starting to think you'd missed the tickets," Gil teased. "And at noon, so hurry and finish opening your presents."

Nick stole a quick, messy kiss before jumping off him to scramble back to his presents.

Watching Nick with another fond, most likely sappy smile, Gil had to agree that this was definitely the best Christmas ever.