Work Text:
Betrayal
by PEJA
Its over. The woman, Lisa, is dead. At my hand. Well, mine and the squad's. But mostly mine. I fired the first shot. The kill shot.
What else could I do. She would have exterminated human kind. i think even Ianto realized it would not end pretty when the pizza girl started spouting cyborg rhetoric. But even then he couldn'ttake the shot.
And I couldn't take the risk. Oh God, he is never going to forgive me for that. No matter that the woman was a homicidal cyborg. He loved her. Loved her! ....more than he loves me.
Oh God, did he ever really love me... or was I a substitute for her?
The look on his face when it was over... in the heat of it all, he'd threatened that he would watch me die. At the end.... I believed him. And now, when he looks at me...can all he see is that woman's blood on my hands?
I barely hear Gwen ask if he will stay.
All of me is focused on Ianto as he pauses to look up at me. The grief in his eyes is enough to kill me on the spot. I want to wrap him in my arms and rock him while he cries. But his expression forbids me. All I can do is memorize him with my eyes in those eternally long, excruciatingly short seconds that he stares upwards.
I think I nod, i must have given him some sign, because he turns away from me and begins to clear the outward chaos of this last, soul-crushing battle.
And I breath a sigh of relief. He will stay.
But on what terms?