SquidgeWorld Archive

The apartment was so quiet. No, it wasn't the same one that Xander had shared with Anya, but he easily could have gone for the same look. He just chose not to.

He was alone, again.

Willow and Kennedy were in Canada, partly so they could have a legally recognized marriage, or something like that, and partly because it turned out Kennedy had family there who were more than happy to take them in.

Xander didn't even know if his family had made it out of Sunnydale.

Andrew had gone to the east, saying he wanted to get as far away from California as possible. Not that Xander didn't blame him; he'd had the same idea himself when he moved to Washington, DC. He'd always liked the place since he went on a class trip there in fifth grade. In fact, Andrew came down from New York every once in a while to check up on Xander.

Who else? Oh...Angel had helped Faith get back into prison and then used what magic his new law firm to help erase everyone's memories about the fact that she had escaped. When Wolfram & Hart legally got her out last month, she met up with Robin and headed for Cleveland to be a Watcher over some of the potentials.

Dawn was in Los Angeles, living at that same firm with Angel and a surprisingly corporeal Spike, starting college and learning about demons from Wesley and law from some lawyer named Lindsey. He wasn't really keeping tabs on her, but when he did hear from her, she sounded happy. Also sounded like she finally living the life she should have all along.

Giles went back to England and had a huge fight with Wesley's father over how the newly reformed Watcher's Council should be run. Giles won in the end, and new Watchers were slowly learning not all demons were bad. In fact, some could be downright wonderful.

It was cold, lonely nights like these when he missed Anya the most. He could almost feel him beside her, hear her comments about sex and money and feel the blush coming to his cheeks when he knew he had to stop her before things got even more embarrassing.

He just missed her.

It was nights like these that caused him to pick up the phone and call the special number Buffy had given them all before she left the United States. Dawn had wanted to go, too, and so had Xander, frankly. But Buffy had to find herself, and the best way to do that was alone.

He heard from her the most. He got at least two postcards a month, almost always from different places, and a letter at least once a month. And he called her every week, or she called him.

She was close, she'd always say, to finding out who she really was. She'd tell him what she knew she wasn't anymore: wasn't The Chosen One, wasn't Angel's soul mate or Riley's girlfriend or Spike's lover, wasn't even the world's only hope, she said.

And tonight, he hoped she'd tell him about the time she'd spent in Zimbabwe, where he got his last postcard from, and where she was now, and how much closer she was to finding herself.

Xander felt himself needing this connection, suddenly, just needing Buffy.

He dialed the number and waited, shifting the pillows underneath him so he could lean back and relax for an hour or so and have a chat with his friend.

No one picked up.

Shrugging, he put turned the phone off and put it down on the end table, shifting the pillows again so he could lay down and get some sleep.

***

The phone started ringing at nine AM and didn't stop for three hours later. First Dawn, then Faith, then Willow, then Giles, then Dawn again, then Angel with a pissed off Spike in the background, then Willow again, the Faith, and then Spike with a pissed off Dawn and Angel in the background.

It turned out that, around three am, right after Xander called Buffy, Buffy called each of them and left an apology saying she wouldn't be able to talk to any of them for a few days, maybe a week, and that everything was okay.

Before anyone called Xander they'd been calling each other, trying to figure out what had happened.

And then, everyone called Xander.

He finally just unplugged the phone. He was a little worried, sure, but if Buffy said everything was okay, then everything was okay.

***

Buffy staggered to the door. She hurt so bad...the demon had really torn her up. There was blood dripping on the pristine white tile leading up to the door. She had a funny feeling she'd left a trail of it on her way here.

She thought everything would be okay when she got to here. But no, instead of getting mugged in the grand capital of the United States, she got the crap beaten out of her by a gang of angry demons. Not only that, but they cut her.

None of the wounds were horribly deep, mostly superficial cuts in just the right places for the blood to drip and not stop for a while.

But it left her tired and aching. She could already feel the wounds healing from the inside, but, she mused silently, wouldn't Xander be surprised when he opened the door.

She tried to knock but found she didn't have the strength. Instead, she fell right into the door.

***

When she woke up again, she was wearing a button down blue shirt. Her left leg was bandaged and propped up on a pillow, and there was a mug of lukewarm tea on the night stand next to her.

She looked around the sparse room. There was a chest of drawers with a TV on top, the night stand which had a few comics piled haphazardly on it, and the bed. It was painted a striking blue, not quite turquoise but still one of the deep, rich blues found in the ocean.

"See you woke up."

Buffy snapped her head to the doorway to see Xander standing there, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed. She started to relax.

"Yeah."

"I called everyone, let them know you were here, you were hurt, but you were okay." He grinned. "They weren't too happy about the second part."

"Didn't think they would be."

"I can see why you didn't call me earlier to let me know you'd be incommunicado," he said, moving towards the bed. "So."

"So."

"Why'd you come to DC?"

"You."

Xander nodded. "Why me?"

"You...well, you're my comfort zone. You've been there for me in a way no one else but Willow and Giles has been. And you've put up with a lot from me."

Xander nodded but didn't say anything. He took the tea from the night stand and took a drink.

"Hey, who said you could have that?"

"I did, because it was mine anyway. I sat here watching you, making sure you healed okay. I left it when I went to go get something to eat."

"Oh."

"I have some pancakes left over, if you want some."

"Sure."

***

Xander watched Buffy eat. "So, after you left Zimbabwe, you didn't head straight back to the states."

She shook her head. "I went to Hawaii. Wanted to see something powerful and non-magical, you know? So I saw this exploding volcano. Then I came here."

"Why?"

Buffy shrugged. She moved her fork through the leftover syrup still on her plate. "Well, I finally figured out who I am."

"And who is Buffy Summers?"

"She's...me. She's a Slayer, but not the only one. She's a sister and a daughter and a friend. She's saved the world a few times. She could have had an easier time growing up, but then she wouldn't be the person she is now. And...well, she misses her friends."

Xander smiled. "I could have told you all that."

"Yeah? Well, why didn't you?"

"You always said you wanted to travel."

Buffy took the pillow from behind her head and tossed it at him. "You're rotten."

"I know."