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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associating with him. They belong to JK Rowling. No copy infringement intended.
Warning: M/m! CRACK!FIC Nothing in this story's sane!! OOCness Seriously! This story's totally loaded with it!
Jodine16: All I have to say for myself is that I was in chemistry, last class of the day and after a veeeeeeeeeeeery long week, this came to me.
Kiss Him! Kiss Him!
Once upon a time, there was a large island called Britain, the British Isles, or the United Kingdom, whatever. Living there were Muggles, wizards, witches, Dark Creatures, friendly creatures, and many other kinds of little and gigantic beasties. Amongst them, all was a boy named Harry Potter, A.K.A. The Boy-Who-Lived, hottest bachelor of the year, or The-Boy-Who Ruins-All-My-Greatest-Plans-Ever. The man who called him that last nickname went by the name of Lord Voldemort A.K.A. Lord Voldie- Moldy Pants. He was wrinkly old fellow with a heart of.......well, whatever it was that resided there. No one was really sure what lied in that crazy, evil person's chest. Probably organs, but no much emotion. Except anger. And glee, and cruelty.
Now, I'm rambling a little. Sorry. This story took place in Hogwarts; a magical school that taught younger kids how to handle their magic without killing anyone unintentionally. At the moment, our Boy Wonder and his sidekicks were in the library, looking for anything that could help Harry get rid of that pesky Voldie-Moldy Pants.
Harry glared angrily at the stack of innocent books before him. Ron and Hermione were helping him find usable curses to defeat the Dark Lord. "I hate this, why couldn't Voldemort come back after I finished school?" He growled.
"Don't worry, Harry we're here for you," Ron said in a too cheerful tone, as he leafed through a thick volume about advanced spells.
Harry gave him a weird look and was about to comment on the redhead's mood when Hermione cried happily from behind a book shelf, "I found it!"
"Shh!" Madam Pince hissed. "This is a library, Granger!"
"Sorry!" Hermione whispered, coming back to sit with Ron and Harry.
Harry perked up. "What'd you find?"
"Huh? Oh, I was searching for the Berty Botts bean I accidentally dropped on the floor," she replied, popping the white bean into her mouth. She grimaced and spat the bean back out. "Eww, vinegar." The Boy-Who-Lived sighed, and rested his head on his arms.
"It's hopeless, we'll never beat him," he muttered sulkily.
"Don't give up Harry, we believe in you!" Ron said. "I'm sure we'll find some...Hey Herm, what about this spell?"
Hermione took the book from Ron and read through it, gasping at what she read. ""Ron you're a genius! Oh, I love you!"
"Oh I love you too, Hermione!"
Harry rolled his eyes when they started making kissing noises across the table at each other. "Hermione....Hermione! What's this great thing you found?"
"Well, it's this spell where you..."
Draco and his goons were walking by when they heard a loud, "WHAT?!" Followed by a "SHH!! Have more respect for everyone here, Potter!"
A few months later on the bloodied grounds of Hogwarts.
"Muwahahahahahaaaa! You lose, Potter!" Voldemort cackled gleefully as he stood before a tired Harry.
'All I need is faith in the heart of my wand and I'll surely win!' Harry thought, determination running through his veins as he stood.
"Oh no you won't!"
Voldemort's evil expression changed into genuine shock when Harry kissed him.
"What in blazes?!" Voldemort yelled, backing away as if he had just been burned.
"With the power invested in me, I now declare you vanquished, Tom Riddle!" Harry cried, his wand pointed at the dark wizard's chest.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
There was a bright flash of light and a loud pop. When the light disappeared, all that was left in Voldemort's spot was a cloud of feather slowly floating to the ground. The Death Eaters and dark creaters ran away weh nthey saw their master was gone.
Cheers erupted from all around Harry. Ron limped up to him, bloody, and grinning like an idiot. "You did it Harry!"
That night the night air was filled with delicious smells, beautiful displays of fireworks and laughter. The Dark Lord was defeated and everyone in Britain could live happily ever after.
Jodine16: I'm still trying to figure out what kind of chemicals I inhaled when I thought of this, so why not leave a review while I try to figure it out? Oh, before you Review, please remember that this fic is meant to have OOC moments! Don't flame me 'cause you thought it royally sucked! Later days!