SquidgeWorld Archive

Mac's gaze was intense as he stared down the long aisle. Flowers that he couldn't name were placed every few feet. He looked up from the petals when everyone stood. He felt his breath catch when Peyton stepped into view, her white dress sparkling in the light, veil firmly in place.

Six years ago, he'd thought he'd lost his ability to love when he'd lost Claire to the terrorist attacks. His life and dwindled until it consisted only of work. It had taken time and hard work to pull him out of that, but it had happened and he had found love in the least likely of places.

As the wedding march started and Peyton began her walk down the aisle, Mac's gaze slipped to the people gathered. All of their closest friends and family were there. Stella, from her place as Maid of Honor smiled at him. She knew how long it had taken him to truly embrace the chance to be happy. Lindsay stood next to her, beaming and exuding that happiness that all newlyweds did.

Mac's gazes shifted to the men on his side. Shel's smile matched Lindsay's, of course, he'd expected no less. They'd only been married for three months and they expected everyone to be as happy as they were. Sid, his best man, looked only a bit out of place in a tux. He'd been second only to Stella when it came to encouraging the relationship between Mac and Peyton, pointing out that he couldn't wallow in misery forever.

His mother and stepfather sat in the pew in front of him. Next to them were his uncle and aunt. Peyton's parents sat in the pew across the aisle, all of them smiling happily. Behind them sat Adam, Marty, Jane, Zack, and most of their other coworkers. An invitation to the Taylor-Driscoll wedding had been a coveted item, made no less special by the fact that everyone working in the lab and MEs office had received one.

As he surveyed the sea of faces, he couldn't quite suppress the longing or sadness when he didn't see the two faces he wanted to see above all. It didn't matter that, if they'd been there, no wedding would be taking place, all that mattered was that he still expected to see them every day. He expected to turn the corner at work and run into one of them or to have both of them next to him when he woke up in the morning. A year later and that expectation was still there.

His gaze met Peyton's once more. She smiled at him sympathetically and he smiled back. She understood. It had been her love that had helped him survive the fallout of losing them. He knew it was his fault, despite what everyone else said, but he was now able to believe that he still deserved to have someone love him.

Finally, she stood in front of him and they were ready to exchange their vows.

"Put this ring on her finger and repeat after me," the minister told Mac.

He froze as he held the cool gold circle. Images from more than a year before flashed before him.

"Come on Mac, just think about it," Danny begged.

"I ... No. What's the point of something that won't be seen as legal anyway?" Mac demanded, telling himself that he wasn't scared out of his mind.

"It will mean something. It'll be everything to us," Don pointed out. He placed a hand on Danny's shoulder, forcing him to stop bouncing. "Our friends will understand."

"Just think about it," Danny bargained. "Please."

"All right," he agreed, trying to push his nerves away. They had a point, exchanging rings wouldn't mean anything to the state, but it would mean everything to them. "I'll think about it."

"Thank you!" Danny said, bouncing away from Don and kissing him. "I promise, I won't bring it up again."

"Until tomorrow," Don said drily.

Danny shrugged and grinned. "Tomorrow," he promised. "I'll even try to wait until tomorrow night."

"Thank you," Mac smiled and kissed them both. "I promise, I'll give you my answer tomorrow night."

Mac dragged his attention back to the present and put the ring on Peyton's finger, the words echoing painfully around them. He looked in her eyes and knew that she understood. He regretted with every fiber of his being that he hadn't said yes immediately. If he had ... it wouldn't have changed anything, but they would have had a few hours to celebrate the happiness of just agreeing to that commitment. He'd asked for a day, but that day had never arrived.

They finished their vows and turned to face their friends and family, officially Mr. and Mrs. Mac Taylor. Stella moved forward to claim the first hug.

"They'd be happy for you," she reminded him as she hugged him tight.

"I know," he assured her. "I am happy ... I just wish.... I'm happy," he finished. She kissed his cheek and gave him a sad smile as she stepped back. They greeted everyone arm-in-arm before heading to their reception.

Mac smiled at Peyton as they stepped into the hall, waiting to be announced, alone for the moment.

"Thank you," he told her sincerely, kissing her.

"For what?"

"For understanding. For helping me grieve for Don and Danny. For loving me," he explained.

He'd sent Danny by himself to the scene. Don had said it was a single dead body, suspicious circumstances, but nothing major. The sniper that had killed both of them as well as seven other innocent bystanders had taken everyone by surprise. He'd been in an uncontrollable rage when they'd finally caught the man. It had taken Stella, Lindsay, and Hawkes to keep him away from their murderer.

It had been another two days before they'd been able to get him home.

"Mac," Stella said softly as he sat on the couch, staring at nothing. "I ... this is for you," she blinked back her tears and handed him a letter.

"What is it?" he asked hoarsely.

"It's from Danny and Don," she explained. "They ... they asked me to hold onto it ... to give it to you if ... if anything ever happened to them."

"Oh," he said simply. He held onto the letter and stared at it, trying to work up the will to read it.

"I'll leave you alone. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all."

He nodded silently and she quietly left, leaving him to his grief.

His took a deep, shuddering breath, and opened the letter. Familiar handwriting jumped out at him, alternating every paragraph or two between Danny's meticulous handwriting needed for labeling lab samples and Don's nearly indecipherable scrawl. He didn't think he could do this again.

Dear Mac,

If you're reading this, something has happened to both of us. We don't know if it was one of the hazards that come with our jobs or if it was an accident, but we're sorry. We never meant to leave you alone.

Because we know that you feel alone. You feel like nothing will ever be right again. But you're wrong. You're not alone. You have Stella, Sheldon, Sid, Lindsay, and Peyton. They're there for you Mac, whether you want them or not. You weren't alone before, you're not alone now. You just need to remember that.

We don't want you to mourn us. Don't waste years wondering what you could have been done differently or what you should have done. Remember this, we were happy together. Remember the good times.

Like when Danny locked himself out of the apartment wearing only his boxers and socks and how much old Mrs. Williams enjoyed pinching his ass.

Or when Don accidentally dyed his hands blue.

Or that time we went sailing, just the three of us.

We love you and always will but we want you to be happy. If you find someone that makes you happy, take that chance. You deserve happiness Mac. If you do anything for us, anything at all, remember that.

Be happy Mac.

All of our love,
Don
Danny

"Mac," Peyton told him sincerely, "I would never try to replace Don and Danny. If I could bring them back I would. I get to thank you for taking another chance. For giving me a chance."

They smiled at each other. "Shall we go, Mrs. Taylor. I believe our friends wait for us," he asked.

"Let's go, Mr. Taylor," she agreed and they stepped into their reception and their future.

He'd always regret that they hadn't had more time together, but he'd remember them and he'd be happy. It was the least he could do.