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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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Christmas Eve

Summary:

This story is, as the chapter heading says, my AU Slash version of CSI Central, which is a fic of mine to be found in CSI/Miami/NY Hetero fic... It's Ryan/Horatio, I suppose... But it's also Horatio/Speed, & it's angsty... But it has a happy ending!

Work Text:

Christmas Eve: (AU Slash version of CSI Central)

Caine’s Office

It felt cold tonight in his office. He knew why. It was Christmas. His first without Speed, and that was why… Ryan now, was a part of the team… Horatio had felt guided to him, even though it was Mr. Wolfe whom had turned up on his proverbial doorstep… He trusted Ryan. Oh, Lord though, he had trusted Tim…. He just wished he could have helped him more…A Depression cycle had hung over Speed. Always had, Horatio guessed… He tried to get him to talk about it, and Speed had assured nothing had happened to make it so. It just had always been. Then, they never really spoke of it again. Speed battled through it. It was just a part of him; it didn’t mean he could not do his job… And, most of the time, he understood, and fervently believed, Horatio knew this, in the fact that they all had a responsibility to one another, in this job, and in this world, to look after themselves, be healthy, be well, all of that, so that they could look after each other… It was like a chain of evidence. The best outcome depended on them doing a good job, looking after every link in the chain…Speed, what was it? H wondered, as he sat there, his office window a window to the world of Christmas Eve in Miami. Was it all too much for you? Did you long for a get out clause, subconsciously..?? Horatio felt the ghost of Speed’s arms holding him, the affectionate lover. They both were that to each other… “I miss you, baby…” H said, as he stood, and looked out of the window on which his back had been turned. He knew, somehow, on some level, Tim stood there with him.

“Horatio…” Ryan’s voice piped up.

Horatio turned, finding Ryan at his office door. And, he motioned that it was okay for Ryan to step in. Ryan, Ryan whom he first had felt guided to… And then, had felt drawn to, and then, had felt guilty about that. Guilty for ‘getting over’ Tim apparently that quickly, and guilty that if Ryan ever knew, ever reciprocated, that he, Horatio, might be using Mr. Wolfe, whom had stepped into Tim’s shoes at work, too. “Merry Christmas, Ryan…” Horatio said, unable to keep the wistful tone from his voice. He still stood by the window, unable to move, feeling Speed there, between him and Ryan, as such… Not wanting to let go, and still grieving. He would always be.

Ryan didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but he went and stood by Horatio. For some reason, he reached out to him, held his hand, stroked his arm a little. All silently. For he sensed that Horatio needed someone.

H felt the connection, and looked at his, and Ryan’s hands, and then, he looked up into Ryan’s eyes, silently holding on to the younger man’s hand.

Horatio had tears in his eyes. Tears for Tim, for Ryan, for himself, and, for what he now sensed, Timothy Speed was giving him this Christmas…



The End…