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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-05
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Bethesda

Summary:

Set after Twilight, Spoilers within. Tony feels the strain of his position as Gibbs's Kahree Angel, Third in 'Angel' Series. Order goes 'Kendreague', 'Never Alone', and then 'Bethesda'. (This is a multi fandom series)

Work Text:

Bethesda

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

-My December, Linkin Park

Jethro isn't talking to me.

It hurts, just like that time when he accidentally-on-purpose banished me as a child but at least this time I understand. Still hurts though.

Being a Kahree angel I can see why people assume we protect everyone. And we do, when we're not connected to a single person. I couldn't tell you if Abby and McGee have baby geeks, I couldn't tell you how long Ducky will live, or if he'll ever truly accept Palmer in his morgue. I could tell you if Jethro is in danger and when, but that's because I'm his guardian. I have to know these things.

Unfortunately I never took the time to explain that titbit to my lover, which seems to inevitably lead him to believe that I protect the entire team at NCIS. And you know what? I do protect them as best as I can but I can't foresee their fates, only their guardians can.

Believe me, had I known Kate's fate I would've moved her long before that bullet ripped through her skull.

I'd give anything to get rid of the memory of her still warm blood on my face. I've had too many friends and comrades die in my arms, been coated in their blood to ever want to experience it again.

Abby thankfully has Moira as her Kariad, a delightful woman who originally passed on during the renaissance and had her heart won over by the spunky pig-tailed little girl. Moira has already explained that there was nothing I could do for Kate and Abby seems to have taken that in her stride. Or so the hug she gave me suggested anyway.

But, as bad as it sounded it isn't her I need forgiveness from. It was from the man currently locked away in his basement (and he has actually locked the door, a first for him. I could materialise through if I so wished but the locked door was more a statement than an actual roadblock). My lover is blaming me.

Sat down leaning against the wall opposite the threatening door I wrap my arms around my knees and hug them tightly. So much I want to be held, angel or not I miss her too and as I think this, a thought suddenly strikes me. Standing creakily I move slowly towards the door and lightly tap it. I can hear the plane still moving against the wood but it does falter enough for me to know he heard it.

"I love you," I say through the barrier between us.

Then I leave his home with nothing more than a blink.

............................................................................

I rub my hands together frantically trying to warm them before I bury them in my pockets. It's not even that cold out but my entire being feels chilled to the very bone and I growl as I look heaven bound.

"Come on Jack," I whisper and not even a second later I hear a solemn chuckle.

"You've been standing there the entire time haven't you?" I say lowly and the chuckle gets a little warmer as I turn to glare at my friend.

"Benefit of still being an intact angel," Jack says, his deep voice husky and I remember how much I've missed him as I step up to him for a hug. He practically crushes me but I don't care.

"What's up Doc?" I say with a smirk and he rolls his eyes.

"Okay, that one is getting old, Brigadier."

"Who you kidding, it never gets old," I tease before I find myself becoming serious again. Jack seems to follow my train of thought as his eyes soften.

"Did Kate arrive safely?" I whisper.

He's silent for a moment before he sighs heavily but there's a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Kicking and screaming but otherwise safe. Keeps complaining about you boys needing someone to keep an eye on you."

I chuckle painfully as I rub at the back of my neck. I duck my head a little not wanting Jack to see the wetness of my eyes as my heart lurches painfully at his words.

"She just about laughed her ass off when she found out that you're a Kahree. I think she's considering it herself," jack said and I look up then and can't stop the smile on my face.

"She'll be a good Kahree," I say quietly and sigh as I drop me head back, "Wish I could see her."

"Just because you can't go up doesn't mean I can't go down."

My entire body freezes and Jack's smirking at my wide eyes. I both want and don't want to turn around but I can't deny myself any longer and I turn.

Funny how when she was alive I never realised what a beautiful sight she was. She's standing in front of me still wearing what she wore when she died, her forehead unmarked by a bullet wound and her eyes sparkling as she watches me in both amusement and pity.

I want to laugh, to cry, to scream but I do none of those things. Instead I reach her in two strides and pull her tightly against me refusing to let go. She squeaks in shock but soon finds her bearings and returns the embrace just as tightly.

"Fuck," I sob brokenly and rest my head against hers, her fingers clenching tightly in my jacket.

I don't know how long we stand there, Jack watching us silently as we cling to one another like a lifeline, my heart racing as I have my sister in all but blood in my arms but eventually Kate makes a move to pull back slightly and I note that her eyes are as wet as mine. When everything's calmer I'll probably tease her about it.

"I'll give you one thing Tony, you're about as far from being an angel as I could imagine," she says dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve and I let out a bark of laughter.

"I'm just that brilliant undercover," I banter back already feeling lighter. Kate's dead, but she isn't gone, not for me.

"I'll say. The Tony I know does not fit in with the one that this guy," she jerks a thumb back at Jack who smirks, "keeps describing. Brigadier, War Hero, Guardian Angel...."

She grins wickedly then.

"...Gibbs's boyfriend."

I blink and then glare over at Jack who tries to adopt a look of innocence. Safe to say it fails dismally. Sighing I look back at the still grinning woman and mockingly I glare at her. As if I could be truly upset with her right now.

"And you call yourself a Profiler."

She laughs before hugging me again and I automatically embrace her once more. Unfortunately her teasing has reminded me of my lover who still isn't talking to me and clenching my eyes closed tightly in pain I pull back to look at her face again.

"You have to abide by the rules don't you? You can't appear in front of the guys in corporeal form, not permanently. Only to say goodbye."

She frowns at me as she nods slowly. She's reading me, I can feel it just like she used to when I felt threatened (Stan Burley anyone?) and I want to hide behind my usual mask but find I can't, not this time. I owe her that much.

"What's wrong Tony?" She whispers and I scrub at my eyes furtively.

"Nothing," I say not being able to help myself and I hear Jack scoff. Both Kate and I look over at him and he's regarding me like a protective mother, which is unsettling considering he's a 6ft odd black guy.

"You're afraid Gibbs is going to banish you again," he says bluntly and I look away as something stabs my heart. Yeah, I am, but I don't exactly like everyone else knowing it too.

"Banish? When did Gibbs banish you?" Kate says whipping her head round to me in shock and I shrug.

"Long story," I mutter and Jack's suddenly beside me.

"Just about killed you last time Brigadier, this time it will."

"Do you have to talk about it as though he's definitely going to do it?" I snap and then look away with a groan, my hand covering my eyes.

"Why would he banish you? You haven't done anything wrong?" Kate says and she looks genuinely confused that I shake my head a little.

I'm staring at her now and I can feel the prickles at the corners of my eyes, my vision beginning to blur a little as I hold back the tears and I clench my jaw as Kate studies my grief-stricken face.

"I couldn't protect you," I whisper and at first nobody says anything, the silence deafening around us.

Then Kate explodes.

"WHAT THE HELL!? WHO...WHY....GAH, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!"

I jump and some small perverse part of me loves that Jack did too. We both watch as the small woman begins to pace angrily like a caged tiger and for a fleeting moment I'm worried for Jethro.

"Kate..." I start but she's clearly on a roll now.

"I'm my own person you know! No one, no one could've known that Ari singled me out. Oh and don't even get me started on him! Your Doctor here explained everything, I know you couldn't have known about that bullet and if you did does he honestly believe you would just let me die? Dick! I mean, okay we bicker, but that's what it is, bickering! I bicker with my brothers for Christ's sake...pardon me..."

"Pardoned," Jack says before we're blown away again by Kate's continuing monologue.

"I mean, I'd already guessed that you and Gibbs were knocking boots, I'm sorry Tony but you're pretty crap at hiding your adoration for him. And don't give me that 'I'm a Carry Angel'..."

"Kahree," I interrupt but she simply plows on.

"...Because you're smitten by the son of a bitch, Heaven knows why because he's the biggest bastard I've ever met. So you," she whipped round and pointed at me threateningly, "Better get your ass down there and assert your right as his Guardian mister before I do it for you!"

And like that she's finished before she storms over to me and hugs me fiercely. I gasp before wrapping my arms around her.

"Yes ma'am," I mutter into her ear and she nods, her face rubbing against my shoulder as she does so. When she leans back again she's looking teary once more.

"Tell him if he doesn't apologise I'll haunt him and not in the fun way."

"Yes Kate," and I pull her close again refusing to give this moment up. It all still hurts, but it's getting better.

..............................................................................

The door to the basement is open when I get back but the light is off, and unless Jethro has learnt to do carpentry in the dark I highly doubt he's down there. Tugging off my coat and draping it over the back of the sofa as I pass it I start on my way towards the bedroom only to find that door closed too.

I hesitate for a moment before Kate's rant comes to my mind and I feel myself becoming justifiably angry. Grief-stricken or not, that is my bedroom too and I am not sleeping on the couch for something I couldn't possibly prevent.

Kicking my shoes off and pushing them under the little table in the hallway that housed the phone with my foot I then continued towards the door, turning it sharply and stepping into the darkened room.

Jethro was on his side with his back to the door and he was curled into himself enough to make me falter and stop. My hand was still clenching the doorknob tightly and I watched him silently. His pain rolled off him in waves and I didn't even need to be his Kendreague to tell you that, his anger from earlier seemingly melted away for something far more gut wrenching and suddenly I understood.

He didn't truly blame me, not really, but he needed to take it out on someone. He always had, even when he had been a boy he had and seeing as the real reason for Kate's death was currently not within reach then a higher being would certainly make a great substitute. Whether it be God or an Angel, it felt better to blame someone else for a while.

And I knew then that even though I was his lover, I was also 'his angel'. I'd helped him grieve before, I could do it again even if it meant he hated me for a while.

Closing my eyes I felt the familiar itch at my shoulder blades as I opened my wings and already I could feel myself falling into the appropriate headspace. Without even thinking about it, without moving my feet I found myself in his line of sight and I crouched down onto my knees to bring my face level with his. His brilliant blue eyes were open and watching me, shuttered as he lazily drifted his gaze over my wings and instinctively they twitched under the intensity.

"Hit me," I whispered and his eyes quickly locked back onto me. His fingers clenched into the bed sheet beneath him and his mouth drew into an angered line but he otherwise remained quite silent.

"Hit me," I said more firmly now and I could see the emotions building in his eyes, feel them in my chest just like he always felt my love in his. I stood and looked down at him feeling my anger rise again, thank God, because I was going to need the adrenaline to numb the punch.

He'd sat up as I stood and I tightened my hands into fists on either side of my hips.

"For fucks sake, Hit me Jethro," I said more sharply and still he didn't move. He was looking right into my own green eyes and I could feel his entire soul bearing into mine.

I flinched and instinctively closed my eyes when he suddenly lurched forwards, no warning given and I waited for the punch to land.

My eyes flew open a second later however when I found myself instead being squeezed painfully by Jethro's arms around my neck and his body leaning into mine. I quickly recovered though and wrapped my own around him, wings mimicking the action moments later and cradled him protectively against my chest, one of my hands gripping his hair to hold his head against my shoulder.

We stood there, neither moving but also neither loosening their hold on the other until I felt Jethro's shoulders begin to shake. I pulled him in closer and when the first tear landed on the side of my neck I simply kissed the closest thing to my mouth, which turned out to be his ear. He sucked in a shaky breath and continued to cry, no sound except for the occasional broken pant but definitely plenty of tears that made tracks from his eyes, to his cheeks and down my neck.

I don't know who decided to move but we both ended up kneeling on the floor still in each other's embrace and I moved my legs and his body until he was lying against me, his head on my chest as he lay on his side, his legs stretched out before us and I had my knee bent on either side of him forming a sort of protective cage with my body for him.

"I didn't know who else to..." he started but I quickly cut him off.

"I know."

He went quiet again until he reached up one hand taking one of mine in it and linked our fingers together then rested them over my heart. I rubbed my thumb over his as best as I could.

"Tony?"

I looked down at the top of his head and planted a soft kiss against the silver strands as I hummed to show I was listening.

"I love you too."

Kissing his hair again I then leaned my cheek against him and closed my eyes peacefully.

"I know."

Finite

AN: The Angels and Demons, summarised:

The different ranks of 'Adalardo Angels' The Nobles/Heaven's Army:

*Cadmons: Warriors of Heaven
*Caedmons: Generals of Heaven/ 'Wise Warriors'
*Saeths: Bowmen of Heaven

The different sexes of 'Kahree Angels'/ Guardian angels:

*Kendreagues: Males ('Loving Male')
*Kariads: Females ('Beloveds')
*Beloveds: The people protected by the Kahree Angels

Councilmen and Muses:

*The Council of Kalani: Council men who decide the fates of the Angels
*Ciorsdan: An individual member of The Council of Kalani (So 'Ciorsdan' would be used in place of 'Judge', eg, 'Ciorsdan Smith')
*Aislinns: The Muses of Heaven ('Visions/Inspirations')

(Note: When a human dies they can become a Caedmon, Cadmon or Kahree but no other. The other Angels are 'born' as Angels, not made)

And Hells Demons (What, you thought you'd get Angels but no demons?):

*Kalidas: Low Grade Demons (Usually act as the 'Voices' in mortal minds tempting them to sin)

Hell's Army/ Killian Demons:

*Kedehern: Generals of Hell
*Karayan: Warriors of Hell
*Kapaneus: Bowmen of Hell

Councilmen:

*The Council of Kasimir: Council men who decide the fate of the Demons
*Kael: An individual member of The Council of Kasimir
Kyna: Muses of Hell