Work Text:
Author's Note: I was just thinking one day what could have been going thru John and Aeryn's mind at the end of LATP3. So here's a little piece i wrote about that. Hope ya like it.
Title: One Step At A Time
Author: Lady T (a.k.a. Tiara 7)
Email for feedback: t_girl_7@hotmail.com
Pairing: John/Aeryn
Rating: PG 13 I think Season
2 Spoilers: Look At The Princess 3.
Authors Note: Takes place at the end of LATP 3 from Aeryn and John's POV.
Disclaimer: Farscape, Farscape characters and anything else that has to do with Farscape is not mine. They belong to Jim Henson Company, Hallmark, The Sci-fi Channel, and anybody else that I failed to mention. The only thing I own is the fic.
ONE STEP AT A TIME
Aeryns? POV
I think I'm ready to do this. I'm sorry I wasn't at the wedding John. I just couldn't bring myself to watch you marry someone else. Someone I know you didn't love.
I am aware of how you feel about me, but I'm so scared. Scared that I may hurt you the way I hurt Valorek. Scared that maybe one day you'll find your home. Scared that you may leave me. I'm afraid of all these emotions that have surfaced in me. Emotions I've never had until you came into my life. But I'm not so sure that they are a bad thing anymore and that's what scares me most.
I'm not trained to deal with emotions. Frell, I was always taught that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. But maybe they were wrong because everything we've been through has made me stronger. Because of you, I feel that I have become a stronger person. I have become more like you said I would.
I owe you so much John, and yet you ask nothing of me. Except to tell you how I feel. I want to do this. I want to tell you how I feel but It's so hard for me, so I have no choice but to show you.
I can't bring myself to say anything at this moment but I hope I can prove to you in the next few minutes that I'm at least trying.
I'm showing you the vial John, please look at me. Good, you see me. Well as you would say, it's showtime
I wonder what you're thinking at this moment as I walk over to you. Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? You have the most amazing eyes.
Ok John, I'm holding the vial out to you, please take it. Take it before I run away. I need you to help me with this. I need you to help me come to you?Good, he took it.
He's really going to do this. He took a drop of the nectar. Now I guess it's my turn. Come on Aeryn, you can do this. You've overcome a lot of difficult situations. Open your mouth. Don't do this to him again. Ok, here I go'there, I did it.
Why does looking in his eyes make me feel like they're burning into my soul?
I feel like I'm going to lose control.
He's leaning over to me. He as such beautiful lips. His tongue feels so good. It's not the first time I've tasted him. Why am I making this so hard?
Ok, it's time for the kiss. This shouldn't be hard. I've kissed him before. What makes this time so different? Is it because we may be compatible? What if we are compatible? Would he want me to have his offspring? Would I want offspring? So many questions to have answered by one little kiss.
What if we aren't compatible? Would it matter to him? Would he still want me as much as I want him? I know that even if we're not compatible, I still want him. Why can't I just tell him that?
His kiss feels so good. His mouth on mine'so warm'so gentle.
Something's happening. It's changing. Could it be?it is. The kiss is sweet. He tastes so sweet. Ok, I have to break the kiss before I jump into his mouth further. If I don't stop now, I'm afraid I may not be able to control myself. I can't let him see that I want to jump into his arms and make love to him right here, right now.
We're compatible. Could we really conceive a child? Question is, would we want to raise a child to live as we do? To live a life on the run? I don't think either one of us would want that for our child. Did I just say our child? I'm talking as if it has already happened. Let's just see what our future holds.
Ok, I can't let him see how good I feel right now, but I can't seem to pull myself from his eyes. I wonder what he is thinking? Oh frell, I have to turn around. He can't see this as I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I really need to go somewhere where I can scream my joy, but I can't help but smile to myself as I walk away. I'm afraid to turn back around to face you because I may never be able to take my eyes off of you again.
I love you and I want so much to tell you that but I think we should take it one step at a time John. One step at a time.
ONE STEP AT A TIME
Part 2
Johns? POV
Look at her. She's so beautiful. She still must be mad at me though because she hasn't even acknowledged the fact that I'm in the room. As a matter of fact, she's in workout mode so I know she's still mad at me. I know how to get to her. I'll just keep talking to her until she talks to me. Either that or she'll just tell me to shut up. Oh well, maybe she still needs her space.
Wait?what is she doing? Aeryn, what's that in your hand? Is that what I think it is? Is it for me? Does she really want to do this with me? I guess so John, she's coming this way.
Ok, is this for real or is it just another one of her games? I don't think I could handle her giving me part of herself only to snatch it away. God she must be serious because those are real tears in her eyes. And such beautiful eyes they are. I would love to just jump into those eyes. Aeryn, please don't cry. I feel bad having put you through enough as it is.
She's offering the vial to me. Of all the women that have approached me with this, Aeryn's the only one that I really wanted to do it with. No other woman in this whole universe matters to me. Not even Genna. God Aeryn, I hope you never find out about that. It didn't mean anything to me. You're the only woman that I want to be with.
Ok John, time to do this? There. This stuff is tasteless. Hopefully it won't be in the next few seconds. Ok Aeryn, your turn. Please open your mouth and take this before I drop it. My hands are so sweaty and I can't hardly breath. Ok, good girl.
Aeryn, you can do this. We can do this together. She looks so scared. I really hope you know that I would never hurt you. Come on Aeryn, meet me halfway here. It's the only way to do this. If I lean down any further I'll land flat on my face. Ok'that was nice. Her tongue is so cool.
Ok time for the kiss. She has such a gorgeous mouth. And that tongue, ooh boy, so powerful. I wonder what you're thinking at this moment as we kiss each other. I hope you're thinking what I'm thinking. Hoping that the kiss is sweet. Hoping that we're compatible.
Now that I know that I'm going to be a father, even if I'm dead before she's born, it makes me want a child more than ever before. Aeryn, how could I ever tell you that if you ever want it, that I'd want to have a child with you. It means that much to me. You mean that much to me.
Uh-oh, something's changing here. Oh man, it's sweet. She tastes sweet to me. Could the kiss be sweet to her? She's just staring at me with blank eyes. Come on sunshine, show me a sign here. Let me know what's going through your mind right now. I guess it doesn't matter anyway because if the kiss is sweet to me it has to be sweet to her.
But how does she feel about it? Does she feel like I do? Does it make her as happy as I am at this very moment? Man, I feel like picking her up, squeezing her, and swinging her around right now. Aeryn, if you only knew that I would like to hold you for the rest of my life. I want to make love to you forever.
She's turning away. Is it because she doesn't like the fact that we're compatible? Or is it because she's afraid to show me her heart. If she only knew that I'm afraid too. We're both in the same boat here baby.
You said that there wasn't anything that we couldn't overcome together. That much is true. But the one thing we haven't been able to overcome is us. We can do this Aeryn. We can overcome each other if we try. With a little bit of faith we can do it together.
I can't believe it, we're compatible. I'm glad she turned around because I can't hold back this smile anymore. I wonder if she's smiling too.
I love you, Aeryn and God knows how much I would like to tell you that right now, but I think we should take it one step at a time. One step at a time, Aeryn.
Finite