SquidgeWorld Archive

He did it again

By GitonCrais

Fandom: Farscape

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: "Farscape" is a protected trademark and I'm Just borrowing the characters. I promise to give them back once I've used them, hopefully more or less intact.

Following is the outcome of trying to finish two longer stories and grinding to a hold for a moment, the chocolate I ate didn't help.

Keywords: Crais

Summary: Crichton is celebrating his birthday and Crais is not enjoying it

He did it again
By GitonCrais

It had been on one of those rare visits to Moya that Crais was wishing they would be even rarer.

It had been about seven or eight monens after he and Talyn had moved on their own through the Uncharted Territories. Talyn had expressed the wish to meet up with Moya again and Crais had obliged.

He wished he could stay on board Talyn but, he had to grudgingly admit, after several monens on your own and with only your own thoughts and that of a young Leviathan even the crew on Moya seemed acceptable company.

He announced their arrival to Moya and could see on some of the faces of the crew that they were as happy to see him as he was them. He shrugged and flew to Moya in the transport pod.

When he disembarked he was surprised to be met by a smiling Crichton.

Was it a trap? His eyes glanced furtively over the hangar-deck. He couldn't detect anything wrong, yet. The others eyed him with mistrust, strangely he felt comforted by that.

"Crais, my man, (-Crais' suspicion grew-) you are just in time for my birthday."

Crais looked at him questioningly. What had his coming on board Moya to do with Crichton's birth? Was this some kind of Erp joke?

Crichton moved towards him and Crais took a small step back but the human was still smiling at him. He grew almost apprehensive when the human put a welcoming arm over his shoulder and pulled him towards the group. Not one to show weakness or fear of any kind he let the human move him over to the others.

"Crichton, why is your birthday important to my arrival," he asked annoyed.

"You have it all wrong, my friend, (-Crais raised an annoyed eyebrow-) your arrival coincides with the celebration with my birthday."

Again Crais raised an eyebrow, this time in annoyed confusion.

Crichton continued with a big smile on his face, "I do love it when you are angry, it goes well with the beard (-this time Crais put a scowl on his face-) and with your dark eyes."

Was the human making fun of him? He looked at the others and saw their looks of disapproval. It didn't seem they were in on it.

"So, why do you celebrate the day of your birth?"

"It's an Earth's custom," Crichton was now grinning from ear to ear.

He knew it! Crichton was doing his "Erp is where the heart is"-impression and contaminating everyone he was coming in contact with, "Maybe I go back to Talyn. I am not very good company when it comes to celebrating." He made to turn but Crichton's hand on his shoulder was insistent.

"Oh no. You are going to help me celebrate. It's only once a year."

Crais mentally made a note of that to remember it for the next Solar year.

"What are we to do when we celebrate your birthday?" It was no use to go against it now. Talyn would be busy for another couple of Solar days with Moya and he was stuck with the crew. Better to go with the flow and get this over with.

"That's better! You are already getting into the spirit of things."

Crais wasn't so sure about it.

"I have already explained to the others what we are going to do and Chiana has made a surprise for us. (-Crais looked over at the Nebari woman and saw her shrug her shoulders in a I-can't-help-it movement, he looked back at Crichton-) So, I'm going to explain it again for your benefit." Crais doubted if it was beneficial to him. Crichton went on, "On Earth people celebrate their day of birth and they celebrate it with their friends and family. (-"I knew it," Crais thought, "something is bound to happen"-) And since your are all my friends and family," Crichton looked smilingly at the group and gave a mock smile to Crais, "You included, we're going to celebrate it today. Normally, people give presents (-"Aha," thought Crais-) but since you didn't know about it you are exempt."

"I could always go back to Talyn and get you..."

"No, you don't get away with it so easily. Once you leave this ship you just want to go back to Talyn and brood on your own and miss the whole celebration. (-"If only," thought Crais-) No, you stay right here! Anyway, after the giving of presents we have a party and we have something to drink and something to eat and be merry."

"Why would eating and drinking make us merry," Crais asked in confusion.

"Oh, you are such a scream!"

Crais grew more confused by the minute. He didn't think he would be considered an oral function which was annoying to one's ears.

"Come on. Let's go." Crichton led them all to the galley like a bandmaster.

Crais walked besides Aeryn, and asked softly, "Has this happened before or is it a new form to express his psychotic behaviour?"

Aeryn scowled at him, "He is not psychotic, just homesick, I guess. Yes, we did celebrate it before but we never got to finish it properly."

"Why not?"

"Because you and your Command Carrier showed up," she brusquely walked away from him.

Crais stood still and watched her walk away with her shoulders thrown back. He groaned inwardly. Why did he have to turn up today of all days? Couldn't Talyn pick another day, say a weeken away? It wouldn't be long for someone to remember when he last turned up at Crichton's birthday party. He slowly followed the others.

He received a shock when he entered the galley. Ribbons of all shapes and colours were hanging, lying down and floating overhead, they were everywhere! Did someone forget to clean up?

When he saw everyone sit down at the table and not paying any attention to the ravage he assumed it was supposed to look like this.

Funny people the Humans.

He sat down at the furthest end of the table.

"Come on Crais, don't be such a party-pooper and move a bit closer," laughed Crichton.

Crais didn't know what a "party-pooper" was but knowing Crichton it couldn't be a nice word. He stood up and moved closer to the others.

In front of Crichton he saw a heap of wrapped objects, probably the presents.

With whoops of joy Crichton was tearing through the gifts and Crais couldn't hide a frown of disgust at this blatant, outward display of childishness, he got a baleful stare from Ka D'Argo.

The others were getting exited, would Crichton like their presents? Ka D'Argo had given him a fine knife with a beautifully carved hilt. Chiana had given him something which Crais wouldn't even want to take a guess at what it represented, possibly some Nebari sculpture, he wasn't sure. Pau T'Zhaan had given a flacon with herbal oils and Rygel's was a small bauble from his collection. Aeryn's was a small locket and a secretive whisper in his ear, which made Crichton grin like a fool. Even Pilot had come up with a complete toolkit found by one of the DRD's.

Although Crais had been exempt of the proceedings to get him a present, and secretly found it quite silly anyway, he now felt totally left out of I all.

Crichton thanked them all personally and then looked over at Crais, "Next time better, eh Crais?"

"Luckily you didn't bring your Command Carrier this time," roared the Luxan with laughter.

There, it had only taken them 10 microts to bring that one up. Crais really wished to be somewhere else, preferably not here.

"Yeah," chuckled Crichton, "That really frelled the party last time but it is all water under the bridge (-Crais frowned again, "Had Moya sprung a leak?"-) and." Crighton had seen Crais' eyebrow rise and rolled off his chair with laughter. Crais didn't think he was funny.

Crichton's face surfaced over the edge of the table, "Crais, your face." he started laughing again.

"Crichton, I know it is your party but do you find it necessary to keep laughing at me? If it helps calm you down, I am sorry that I crashed your first birthday party in this universe."

Everyone fell silent. What had he done or said wrong now?

Crichton sat up in a kneeling position from the floor and rested his chin on the table's edge, "That was the nicest present you could have ever given me. (-Crais looked puzzled-) You have never said "Sorry" to me or everyone else for that matter. Thank you, apologies accepted." He grinned, "But now it is time to party!"

Everybody looked happy again as if a switch was thrown. Crais had always been too serious, even for a Peacekeeper and could only shake his head.

"Boys and Girls," Crichton grinned, "Chiana has made a Chocolate cake and has improved on the recipe so excellently it really tastes like chocolate." Everyone whooped with joy.

"What is Tsg'klt," said Crais.

"Not tsg'klt, cho-co-la-te," said Crichton, "it is an Earth's delicacy, which I thought I would never taste again and Chiana has made a beautiful substitute."

Chiana, who had sneaked off to get it, had returned and was carrying a cake in her hands. It was dark brown and everyone else seemed to look at it in anticipation. She placed it on the table in front of Crichton. He took his newly acquired blade and, to Crais' shock, started to use it to cut the cake up in slices. Those were passed to everyone around the table. "Enjoy," said Crichton.

Crais looked at his slice in suspicion, he poked it with a gloved finger. It was very dark and soft.

"You're supposed to eat it," laughed Crichton, "not poke it to death."

Crais picked it up and took a very small bite of it. He took another, bigger bite. It tasted good, it tasted sweet. It reminded him of something he had eaten as a child, a long time ago. He took another bite and another and finished his slice in no time. He had a small smile on his face.

"I told you, you would like it," grinned Crichton.

"Yes," Crais had to admit, "This time you were right." He smiled back but when he felt the first itching under his skin as if insects were crawling underneath it and felt his head ache and felt as if his collar was too tight he remembered when he had last eaten it and liked it.

He tried to stand up, moved away from the table and at the same time tried to loosen his collar, he couldn't breathe. He staggered to his feet and crashed onto the floor, still trying to undo his collar. At the same time Pilot was shouting at them, "There is something wrong with Talyn! He seems to be in great distress and it is upsetting Moya. She doesn't know what is happening."

Aeryn was the first one to react. She rushed over to Crais and pulled the transponder from the seat in Crais' neck. That should, at least, take care of Talyn's problem.

This was confirmed by Pilot, "Talyn is less distressed now but expresses his worry that he is not in contact with Capatin Crais anymore."

"You can tell Talyn that we have disengaged the link for the moment for his own good. There is nothing to worry about." At least Aeryn hoped there wasn't.

She shifted her attention back to Crais who was lying on the ground and breathing in agonised gasps. Quickly she opened his collar to help him ease his breathing. His eyes were closed and he was quite red in the face, his temperature had risen.

"D'Argo lift him up and carry him to the nearest shower," she ordered hurriedly.

"Why should I."

"You are the strongest of us, it will be faster. He could die if we don't." A malicious gin stole over D'Argo's features. "D'Argo!" she half-shouted at him.

"All right," the big warrior lifted Crais, who was by now only semi-comatose, off the floor and carried him out with Aeryn close on his heels. Zhaan followed them, if she knew what Crais had reacted to she might have a cure for it.

The others stood around the table in silence looking at the remains of the party.

"Frell! Frell! Frell," Crichton stomped around in frustration, "He's done it again!"

"It wasn't his fault," tried Chiana.

"As if it wasn't his fault when he turned up in his Command Carrier!"

"You were the one who insisted he stayed," countered Rygel.

"Oh, now it's my fault?"

"Mmm, yes," said Chiana, "Crais didn't really want to stay. You insisted. It wasn't his fault he is allergic to my cake."

"Yeah, right, stand up for him." Crichton sat down pouting. Chiana and Rygel looked at each other once and left him on his own to go in search of the others.

When Ka D'Argo put Crais in the shower-stall he left it to Aeryn to hurriedly taking Crais' coat, gloves and sleeveless shirt off, since she had much more experience with the secret buttons and clasps than any of them. A low growl or moan issued from Crais but he was slipping deeper into unconsciousness.

"Pilot," Aeryn said through the comm., while she turned on the water, "Ask Moya if she can make the water in this shower-stall as cold as possible, please." Pilot complied.

The water that was cascading on Crais was almost as cold as ice and drenched Aeryn as well. Slowly Crais' temperature dropped and he seemed to breathe easier. After a while he opened his eyes and spluttered awake, "What." Then he remembered the cake, "Did the cake contain Therin-seeds," he wanted to know while gasping for breath and still blinking at the running water.

Chiana had just entered the room and had overheard his comment, "Yes, that's what makes the cake taste like choco-lat, well, at least Crichton says it tastes like it now."

Crais tried to struggle to his feet but failed miserably. "Could you turn the water off, Officer Sun, I think I'm cool enough now," he said, shivering.

After Aeryn had switched it off she handed him a towel. When she saw how badly his hands were shaking, either with the cold or with the effects of the allergy, she took it off him and towelled him dry as much as she could in the confined space. She motioned to Ka D'Argo to help him stand.

Crais was grateful for the assistance. His legs wouldn't carry him on his own. Ka D'Argo dropped him on the bed and stepped back. When Zhaan learned what the offending seed was she had hurried to her laboratory and came back shortly, "Here, drink this, it will help ease the symptoms." She handed him a beaker with foul-smelling drink.

Crais accepted it, cringed at the smell and with shaking hands brought it to his lips. He drank it in one long gulp and pulled a face, "Thank you," he said in a choking voice.

Aeryn let him lie back, "You better take your sodden trousers and boots off as well before you will disappear under the blankets." He started undoing his boots but after a couple of failed attempts she helped him take them off as well as his trousers. Shivering he climbed under the covers and was asleep almost instantly.

Aeryn gave him a last glance. His physique was remarkable and unlike most other men his torso was hairless, which made it quite attractive. His chest was broad, he was narrow-hipped and well-build.

She smiled, if she hadn't already have Crichton she might fall for this man who looked so innocent in sleep. She carried the clothes out to be dried.

Zhaan stayed behind to look after Crais while the others went back to Crichton. She studied his face in sleep. It was the first time she had seen his face without a scowl, sadness or a sneer on it. For the first time she had seen it at peace, it was a very strong face and with his hair out of the queue she almost admired the thick mane of hair that was spread over the pillow.

His breath was raspy but he wasn't as uncomfortable anymore. She had added a light dose of a sleeping draught to the mixture so that his body was able to fight the allergy without the discomfort. She sat still and meditated.

The others had joined Crichton who was still moping on his own. Each and everyone started to tell stories about things they had eaten or touched and which had given them a bad reaction. They were feeling pity for Crais to be afflicted such.

"Oh, now it's poor Crais," growled Crichton at them, "what about me?"

"What about you," asked Chiana.

"My party, all ruined."

This time it was Aeryn who was angry with him, "Your party? Do you realise he could have died? And you are worried about your party?" She nearly screamed at him, her eyes dark.

"First, last year."

"That was a coincidence."

"Now, this time."

"You were the one who insisted he should eat the frelling cake!"

"How was I to know."

"No, you couldn't," she said softly, "but neither did he. It was not deliberate and if."

The others left the room quietly. Their voices could still be heard down the corridor.

When Crais woke up he looked at the meditating figure of Pau T'Zhaan. He was embarrassingly aware that he was naked under the covers. Who had undressed him? He could barely remember what had passed. The last thing he remembered was not feeling too well after he had eaten the cake. What had happened?

Zhaan had noticed his movement and came out of her light trance. "How are you feeling," she asked softly with concern.

"Weak," he replied hoarsely. "What has happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember not feeling well after I had eaten the cake and that is it."

"You had an allergic reaction to the Therin-seeds."

"Therin-seeds? They were in the cake?" he lifted his head weakly off the bed. She nodded. He let his head fall back onto the pillows, "That explains it. The last time I had it they were in a cake my mother had baked. I was sick for days." He smiled ruefully, "How ironic the mighty Captain felled by seeds!" He coughed. "How long has it been?"

"Only a few arns. The potion I gave you helped speed up the healing process. It will still be another couple of arns before you will be well enough to get up, rest now."

He looked at her embarrassed, "Who has undressed me?"

"Aeryn."

He groaned loudly, "Now Crichton will blame me for ruining his party and let Aeryn see me in the nude. Can it get any worse?"

She smiled, "You rest. I see if your clothes are dry." She left him on his own.

Damn Crichton and his Erp-customs. He drifted off to sleep again.

Crichton pelting little seeds at him from a large canon while laughing insanely plagued his dreams. He tripped, he fell and was bombarded and buried under a heap of seeds. It covered him. He could barely lift his head. Now it was over his face, covered his mouth. He woke up with a start, drenched in sweat and looking in the worried face of Aeryn.

Aeryn had brought his dry clothes back to the room. Crichton had been most unreasonable and she had left him ranting on his own.

When she entered the room she found Crais thrashing around in the bed, deeply in the throes of a nightmare. She dropped his clothes at the foot of the bed and shook him awake.

He came to with a start. His eyes were rolling wildly before settling down on her, "Aeryn? What are you doing here?"

She smiled at him, "I brought your clothes back. You were in the middle of a nightmare. How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think," he said hoarsely and a smile tried to tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Better enough to get dressed?"

He nodded and sat up. He still felt a bit dizzy and disoriented but it passed soon. He hadn't even noticed that the covers had dropped from his shoulders. Again Aeryn had a chance to admire his physique.

On second glance she noticed his chest wasn't unblemished. It had faint traces of old battle scars and one that looked fairly recent.

It was strangely appealing.

He became aware of her staring at him and in a strange show of modesty he covered himself again with the covers. In his Peacekeeping days he had male aand female servers and hadn't even batted an eyelid when being dressed by them. Now, with Aeryn, it was different. Maybe because he was aware that she was with Crichton.

She dropped her gaze and made to stand up, "How did you get you last scar?"

"I a skirmish on one of the planets. I was careless." He didn't explain further so she didn't ask more. She stood up, "I leave you to get dressed."

He nodded and she left. Slowly he dressed himself.

When he walked into the galley they were all sitting around the table. Crichton was scowling at him but didn't say anything. Ka D'Argo frowned. Rygel and Chiana had a smug look on their faces. He couldn't phatom why. Zhaan and Aeryn were the only ones to express worry.

"Feeling better now," asked Zhaan softly.

"Yes, thank you. Your medicine did help." He felt awkward with the attention, "I better get back to Talyn. Could you hand me my transponder back?"

Slowly Crichton stood up, "You want to leave already?"

"I don't think you want to have me present longer than is necessary," Crais said defiantly.

"First you ruin my party."

"Are we back to that again?" growled Aeryn.

Crichton ignored her, ".then you don't want to stay around to see how we celebrate?" A tentative smile formed on his lips.

Crais was surprised and it showed on his face. It didn't escape his notice that this was mirrored in the faces of the others as well."If that is what you wish," said Crais. He still wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing but when he saw the small smiles appear on everyone's faces it changed his mind, "About earlier."

"No prob," Crichton smiled openly now, "As long as you don't make it a habit."

When he was back on Talyn Crais had to admit that for all his misgivings he had enjoyed his stay on Moya. When the party had recommenced (-"no more Tsg'klt for Crais"-) it had turned out quite enjoyable. Aeryn had even produced a bottle of Raslak and most of the time he was sitting on his own at the table observing the others. It was difficult to loosen up completely but he had made a valiant effort to join in.

The others had tried their best as well and were trying to keep scathing remarks to a minimum. He had a pleasant conversation with Zhaan about the well-being of Talyn and he even shared some jokes with Chiana about the different planets in the Uncharted Territories.

Aeryn came over to talk to him and they reminisced for a while on old battles and people they had known in the Peacekeepers, although Crichton wasn't happy with that and kept a watchful eye on the two.

The Luxan hadn't even bothered to make small talk and Rygel was too busy eating.

It was al over before they knew it and he returned to Talyn. Before he left he was given all sorts of supplies of which he was in need of. He had been able to supply them with information on the different planets he had visited. It seemed like a fair exchange.

Back on Talyn, Crais and the Leviathan exchanged their own experiences. Talyn had picked up new information from Moya and was quite excited to learn what the celebration had been all about. Crais tried to explain to his best abilities. Talyn was also very happy to learn that Crais had not suffered any lasting effects of his allergy-attack.

Soon Moya and her crew were out of range and Talyn and Crais were on their own again and although Crais had enjoyed himself in the end, he was glad to be back with only Talyn to consider.

He sighed, "Set course to the nearest habitable planet, Talyn. Let's see what is out there." A smile crept over his face when he fixed his eyes on the great expanse outside.

THE END