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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
1,545
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1/1
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8
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820

I Wanna Know What Love Is

Summary:

Pairing: J/B
Catagory: The Sentinel
Rating: FRT
Warnings: Not betaed, all mistakes are mine, mine I tell you, mine, hahahahaha
Summary: Jim is running scared, but for how long
Submitted through the SenseXangstRevisited mailing list.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

I Wanna Know What Love Is
by Peggy R

Jim stood there stunned. Blair, his best friend, roommate and partner at the PD, had just told him that he loved him. Really loved him, was in love with him. He was scared. Big bad James Joseph Ellison, was scared, right down to the tips of his toes, scared.

Everybody he had ever loved had left him in one way or another, and he didn't think he could stand it if Blair ever left him. He wasn't sure if he could return that love, he was afraid to love again, even with Blair.

"I... I need to think." Jim stuttered.

"Jim..." Blair whispered, stepping toward his sentinel.

"Chief... Blair, I... I'm not worth loving. Everyone around me, who was close to me, have either died or changed enough to hate me and left. I can't take that chance with you." Jim replied as he headed for the front door.

"Jim, wait!" Blair cried, but he was gone. Jim all but ran down the stairs,out of the building and into his truck.

"Shit, shit, I shouldn't have said anything. Now what, I've probably lost my home, the only home I've ever known, and my best friend. Way to go Sandburg," He though to himself, sadly as he walked into his room.

"I guess I should start packing now."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jim didn't know where he was going, so far just driving around thinking. 'I can't take the chance of loosing Blair; he's everything to me, my partner, my guide, my best friend. I don't know how to love, at least that's what Caroline told me. That I was cold... hard hearted. Maybe that's true.'

As Jim pulled into the parking lot for the local park, a song came on the radio that caught Jim's attention. When the song
finished, Jim sat there stunned, 'my god', he thought to himself, 'that's exactly how I feel. Maybe I can make Blair understand.'

Starting the truck, and then pulling back into traffic, Jim pulled out his cell phone and the speed dial #1.

"Sandburg."

He sounded so sad; knowing he had caused this, Jim hoped he could turn things around before they really got out of hand. After all, they'd been together almost four years. Been though everything together, well almost, and Blair was still there. He hadn't left. Blair had given up everything for him, was that love? He didn't know, but he wanted to learn, and he wanted Blair to teach him.

"Chief?"

"Jim? Look man, I'm sorry... I..."

"Chief, wait... can you meet me at Spago's?"

"Jim, you don't have to do this, this is your home. I... I can be out by the time you get back."

"NO... no, Chief... Blair, please, just meet me, ok?"

"Ok, Jim. I'll see ya in twenty."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jim sat in a booth, nervously waiting for his partner to get there. Partner, he hoped this would be true in every since of the word. He had already talked to Johnny, the entertainer who performed every night at Spago's. Looking up, he spotted Blair coming through the door. Showtime, literally.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair stopped just inside the door to let his eyes adjust to the dimness of the lounge. Spago's was a fairly new place, welcoming everyone to come and be themselves. Gay, straight, punk, hippie, country, just be yourself. Strangely enough, it worked. Hardly any fights or disagreements ever happened. Of course, having six burly bouncers around at all times, might have something to do with that. The young detective had been here a few times and really liked the place. He liked the fact that he could bring his dates here, be they female or male, and not be treated any different then anyone else. They could have dinner, dance and just have a good time. Spotting Jim, he headed toward the booth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Chief, I was afraid you wouldn't come."

"I almost didn't."

"Why?"

"Jim, I'm sorry I sprang it on you, about how I feel. I just... I had to let you know how I felt that's all. I can be out of the loft by the end of the week. Just, you know, give me a little time to find a place. If not, I'm sure I can find a place to crash until I do."

"No,"

"What?"

"I said, no."

"Um... ok Jim... I'll..."

Jim looked toward the bar and gave a slight nod, Johnny smiled and walked toward the small stage in the back of the lounge. The band assembled and Johnny approached the mike. "I have a request; this goes out to Blair from Jim."

Blair looked over at Jim with a stunned look on his face, "Jim what...?"

"Dance with me, Chief? Please... Blair?" Jim asked, holding out his hand to his confused partner.

"Do me one favor?" Jim asked.

"What's that? Blair answered as he took Jim's hand and walked with him out onto the dance floor.

"Listen to the words of the song. They can explain how I feel, so much better then I can."

"Ok, Jim."

As the music started, Jim took Blair into his arms, holding him tight. Blair laid his head on Jim's shoulder and listened to the words as Johnny began to sing.

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life.

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is....

As Johnny's voice faded out, Blair looked up at Jim, sapphire blue eyes locking with ice blue ones.

"Jim?"

"Show me... please?" Jim whispered, holding Blair tight. He didn't care that they were still in the middle of the dance floor.

"Oh Jim..." the young detective held on tight, like his life depended on it.

As another slow song started to play, the two men stayed locked in an embrace, swaying to the music.

"As I was driving around, I began to think, after everything that's happened. Everything I've done to you, put you through, you're still here. You haven't left me, and then I heard this song on the radio. I realized that's how I felt, how I feel. Like the song says, I want you to show me, show me how love is, Blair. Do you think you can do that? Do you think you can show this old hard cop how to love?"

"Oh Jim, you're so not old, and I'd love to show you. I'll never leave you, I love you. Let's get out of here, and we'll begin the teaching just as soon as we get home."

Jim smiled down at his soon to be lover, taking his hand he led Blair out of the restaurant. Walking over to the Volvo, Jim turned and faced his partner. Taking his hands and placing them on either side of Blair's face, he leaned down and softly kissed his lips.

"I love you, Blair."

"Oh god, I never thought I'd hear you say that man. I love you to Jim, so much. Now let's go home."

"I'll see ya there, Chief. Drive careful."

"I will Jim. Love you."

Jim watched as the young man drove away. Jim felt happier then he had in a very long time. Also a little bit scared too, although he wouldn't admit that to anyone. Ok, well, maybe to Sandburg. But he knew with Blair's help, there wasn't anything that he couldn't face. Not even love.

~THE END~

Song: I Wanna Know What Love Is by Foreigner

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Peggy R.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.