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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-05
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That Touch of Snark

Summary:

Pairing: McShep
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd force them to reveal their relationship…but I don't, so they must keep on pretending.
Warning: Slash. AU.
Summary: All it took was a mud puddle to bring John and Rodney together.
Author's Notes: My version of That Touch of Mink.
Submitted through the Stargate_Atlantis_Slash mailing list.

Work Text:

That Touch of Snark
by Never

It was a bad day. Shaking his pant leg, he was reminded of how some excuse for a VIP had driven by and casually splashed him with muddy water. After his lower half had been soaked, he'd had to go to the Unemployment Office. As humiliating as that was for an astrophysicist, what made it all the worse was facing Kavanagh, the sleezy Unemployment Office worker who seemed to think that Rodney kept coming back for the chance at a date as opposed to returning for his unemployment check. And now he had to stand in line behind 30 people for his lunch. Didn't these people realize he was hypoglycemic?

"Rodney," Radek nudged his friend, "you were saying about the man in the car? The man that splashed you?"

"Yes! He didn't even stop to see if I was alright! The maniac almost hit me! And then at the Unemployment Office, Kavanagh asked me to dinner again...and back up to his apartment." He couldn't suppress a shudder at that thought. "And after I finally eat, I have to go to an interview looking like I rolled around on the street!"

"You must be the man I'm looking for," a masculine voice sounded behind Rodney, making him turn around.

Rodney's face pinched, "What are you talking about?"

"Were you splashed by a black car this morning?" The short, dark hair was brushed forward, imitating an arrow pointing directly to his bluish eyes and pointed nose.

"Yes! Can't you tell by looking at my clothes? Why?"

"I work for the man who splashed you. He saw you from his office across the street and asked me come over here to apologize and offer you compensation in case your clothes were damaged."

"Why didn't he come down here himself?"

The stranger just blinked.

"Well? What are you standing around for? Go and get him so he can apologize in person," Rodney said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm afraid Mr. Sheppard is a very busy man. The best I can do is to take you up to his office and see if he has a moment to speak with you."

"Fine."

"Rodney," Radek rested his hand on his friend's bicep, "what about your lunch?"

"Order my usual for me; this won't take long."

***

"I'm Lorne, Mr. Sheppard's second-in-command here at Jumper Corp."

Rodney followed the man through the hallways, idly listening to the narration intended to educate him on the importance of this Mr. Sheppard. McKay simply wasn't impressed, no matter how many millions the man had at his disposal. And despite the enormity of the office that he'd just been led into so he could await the arrival of this hit-and-run criminal. Okay...nearly hit-and-run. Rodney was sure that he felt the wind from Sheppard's car as it drove by.

From behind him, he could hear Lorne clear his throat and say, "Mr. Sheppard, this is Rodney McKay. He insisted on coming up to speak with you himself."

Turning around, he stood silent, barely able to breathe. The man smiling at him was the male equivalent of Helen of Troy. Rodney had brief vision of armies all going to battle for the chance to share this man's bed. From his carefully tousled hair to his slightly scuffed dress shoes, he was simply perfect.

"Mr. McKay..."

Rodney interrupted, "Dr."

"Of course," Sheppard easily smiled. "I wanted to come down and apologize to you myself, but I had a meeting that I couldn't get out of."

"That's understandable...you are a busy man after all. Whether you're too busy for manners is up for debate, but..." Well, Rodney could only be so forgiving.

Laughing, he asked, "Did you come up here to lecture me?"

"Only if you need it, Mr. Sheppard."

Still grinning, he held out his hand, "Call me, John. But before you lecture me, why don't you take off those pants."

He was almost positive that John hadn't meant that the way Rodney really wanted to take it, however, he couldn't help himself. "I don't get a nice meal first? I am hypoglycemic, you know."

One eyebrow rose. "To be cleaned, Rodney...I can call you Rodney, right? And I'll have some lunch sent up for us."

"No citrus; I'm deathly allergic."

"And that would definitely be a shame."

-tbc? end?