Chapter Text
Revelation
by Asa Meda
"He's conflicted."
Gibbs half heard the self satisfied tone in Kate's voice as he sat down at his desk for a ritual he engaged in when there seem to be nothing else to do. The program searching the ever-updated terrorist database, to match the only picture they had of the man who had infiltrated them... who had hurt them... ran continuously. Sometimes he almost forgot about it. Sometimes he feared he would miss the moment when there would be a match. Right now his attention hovered somewhere between because something he just witnessed was still bothering him.
"What's he conflicted about?" he threw out finally.
Silence drew Gibbs' interest away from his obsession. Kate was standing, obviously ready to leave. Her cheeks were flushed... embarrassed? Guilty? Gibbs' instincts kicked in. Tony had been upset... very upset.
"You two have a fight?" he ventured.
Todd's expression was neutral, almost relaxed. But she licked her lips... a nervous gesture.
"What did you say to him, Kate?" Gibbs demanded.
Again the licking of lips. A shift in posture. "Tony and I were just... talking."
Alarm bells rang in his head. There was a time when "talking" between them was friendly banter, even sibling-like arguments... meaning nothing. But lately Kate had been going for the throat, her words more and more cutting. He didn't understand what her problem was but he had a feeling he had let it go too far. "What were you two talking about?"
Kate deflated in front of him. "He was going on about that ATF agent... Melinda Stone... how pretty she was... then he said something about his tastes in women... that he liked them... complex. I told him---" She fell silent and looked away.
Gibbs didn't realize he was standing until he took a step towards her. He didn't want to hear this but knew he had to. "Told him what, Agent Todd."
She swallowed, her eyes still downcast. "Something about last week's case... that he... she... he kissed--"
"Agent Todd." Gibbs forced himself to reign his fury. He had been surprised when Kate had brought it up after the Voss case. But in the midst of dealing with Pacci's death, with killing a suspect... as much as he wanted that suspect dead... he had overlooked it, assuming fatigue and stress was a large part of the problem. Now he realized it was something else entirely. "Do you have a problem with men kissing men?"
Kate's eyes met his, clearly surprised. "I-- no... But Tony goes on about what a ladies man he is--"
"So?"
"He just thinks he's such a gift--"
"He is." Gibbs almost smiled as shock then wary surprise rippled over Kate's face. "You had no right," he said evenly. "I don't know why you have a problem with the fact that Tony kissed a man... even accidentally. And I don't care. I like you, Kate. I think you're an exceptional agent." He drew a breath, sorry he had to say what he was about to say. "The subject of Agent DiNozzo and Voss is dead, except as it relates to case review. This is your first and last warning. Clear?"
Special Agent Todd stood at attention, her eyes glistening with emotion. "Yes," she said simply then waited.
Gibbs relaxed a little, hoping it would be the last time he'd have to talk to her this way. "Go home," he ordered.
Without hesitation Kate walked past him and left.
Gibbs sighed as he tried to settle his heart. His pulled out his cell. He wanted to call Tony, to see if he was all right... but what could he say without embarrassing him more than Kate had? How could he keep himself telling Tony how special he was... how he wished, for a moment, that he had been sitting where Voss had been when Tony's mouth descended....
"No." Gibbs closed his phone and put it away. He was a coward. He couldn't do it. He couldn't be sure Tony would understand... would want--
"Go talk to him."
Gibbs turned his head, surprised to find Tim McGee soberly sitting in near darkness. "You were eavesdropping," he challenged.
McGee held up his hands. "I was here... Kate knew. Then this..." He shrugged then sighed. "Tony... likes you, Gibbs. He said something once. I don't even know if he realized he said it out loud. But I think you should talk to him. I mean." He gazed at him worriedly. "Not that I'm assuming you-- you know... I mean I don't care. But I think that's why Kate's comments hurt him so much... because he doesn't know. He might feel better if he knew you knew... and it was all right... no matter how you felt about him."
Gibbs studied McGee. The young agent acted like he was raised in a cave, seemingly ignorant of popular trends that one had to have been raised on an alien planet not to know anything about. And Gibbs sensed the lack of knowledge was genuine. But then there were moments like this... the insight... that convinced him that McGee would be a good permanent addition to their team. "You about finished with that report?"
McGee attention returned to his monitor, his expression once again focused on his task. "I can have a print out tonight," he offered.
Gibbs shook his head. "Go home, McGee. You can give it to me by noon tomorrow. It's not priority right now."
McGee stared at him, his body visibly relaxing. "Yes, bo-- Gibbs. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Gibbs turned and left him, mentally mapping his way from NCIS headquarters to Tony's home. He had no idea what he would say... what Tony would do. But he was willing to find out.
((Could the day get any shittier than it was?)) Tony paced around his car. He had already thrown his bag in the trunk and slammed it shut. All he wanted to do was drive as fast and as far as he could. A week and a half ago Kate's words had stung but he dismissed it as revenge for his getting into her purse... for the stress of the case. But tonight it stung for reason she probably didn't know.
He... She... Inwardly he long ago realized what he wanted. Women were pretty, soft... and acceptable. He liked women. Particularly smart, interesting women. And sex was good... mostly... when he managed to find the right woman... the right moment...
The Voss case was just a case. Yes... Amanda Reed was pretty, though not really soft... he had assumed at the time, being hooked to a Marine, she worked out. And she was smart. Having worked undercover Tony knew how to get close, knew the lines to say... knew how far to go. But this time there was a difference. There had been a charisma about Reed that was unlike any woman he had ever known. Charisma. Strength. Control. When they kissed--
((Shit!)) Tony wiped his hand over his face as he continued to pace. There was a difference in the kiss... in the focus. Or maybe not. Maybe in retrospect he was just thinking there was. But whatever it was it was the best kiss he ever had. Amanda... Voss... had taken control... held nothing back. Fully engaged. It was a great kiss. So much so Tony actually failed to answer Gibbs' call. At the time he didn't think a few moments would make a difference. Finish the experience... go to the men's room... call Gibbs back. After all Amanda wasn't the killer... she was just a stepping stone.
"Dammit! Dammit!" Tony felt his eyes burn as his thoughts wandered down a well-worn path. He had kissed a guy... Pacci's killer... a guy. He had violated one of Gibbs' most sacred rules in order to kiss a murderer. He had failed though Gibbs was surprisingly forgiving, letting him off with a stern warning laced with concern about his head injury. Gibbs had touched him briefly, examined the wound on his scalp. He was lucky. The bottle that hit the back of his head had been empty and the blow had been glancing. Yet it seemed Gibbs fingers remained in his hair a little longer than necessary. ((Definitely my freaky imagination,)) he chided himself.
Yet the moment was duly recorded in his perverse memory. Gibbs had touched him. Not the normal brushing aside. Not the odd smack up the side of the head for a smart remark. It had been a personal touch... caring. Then, less than a week ago, when he had been kidnapped, when the mission to find the Gunnery Sergeant was over, Gibbs stayed by his side during the drive back to headquarters, asking if he was all right, warning him against taking strange drinks in strange bars.
Then yesterday, when he faced ATF Agent Stone... and her gun. The deal was going to go down. The woman was to be arrested and questioned; stolen weapons would be recovered. But he missed a moment and found himself focused on the business end of a gun held by a suspect who didn't seem to give a damn that a weapon was trained on her.
Then Gibbs appeared... almost as if he knew ahead of time. Though his supervisor told Stone to go ahead and shoot and Tony teased him about it a moment later, he had seen the cold gleam in Gibbs eyes, the unwavering aim. Tony watched and wondered if Stone had accidentally twitched if their case would ended then.
But, DiNozzo was quick to remind himself, it was something Gibbs would have done for any of them. His people. ((You're making too much of this. He likes you fine... but not like that. He's a Marine... he's been married...)) Yet there was that moment when Tony had teased about Gibbs caring about him, when the older man had paused to face him. Tony had been prepared to receive a smack on the head, a friendly indication that he was crossing the line. But instead Gibbs had enclosed Tony's face in his hands, telling him he was irreplaceable. His tone, DiNozzo remembered, had been exasperating, well within the norm for his kind of teasing. But a fleeting expression crossed over his supervisor's face that caught Tony off guard. In that tiny encounter Tony had an urge to lean closer, to kiss Gibbs.
Then the moment was ended abruptly as Gibbs openly teased both himself and McGee who for some reason was sitting at his desk. It was back to business as usual... until Kate's comment this evening. It shouldn't be that big a deal he reminded himself. He usually gave as good as he got. What was different here? His attraction to Gibbs? That was an old deal going on since before Kate started working there. He had a handle on it. Or was the fact that he actually kissed a guy... had enjoyed it... but he didn't know.
A sound caught his attention. The parking garage door opened and Kate stepped out. Tony swallowed, ready for her to spot him, to throw in a last jab at his expense. But her posture alerted him. She walked quickly and efficiently to her car a few rows down without looking around, without acknowledging anything. She got in and drove away in less than a minute. Very unusual.
"You're still here, Anthony?"
Ducky. Tony turned around. Dr. Donald Mallard, NCIS Medical Examiner, stood a few cars down, his bow tie in place, along with his hat and brief case. He was going home. DiNozzo sighed. "I'm going... soon."
Mallard studied him. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
"Nothing," Tony said shortly. He did not want to have a discussion about this with anyone. He just needed to get himself together and stop whining. Focus on reality, not fantasy.
"You don't look like it's nothing, Tony."
Tony... not Anthony. That drew his attention.
"Don't go anywhere," Ducky ordered as he opened his trunk and put his brief case in. He then walked up to DiNozzo, his blue eyes sharp as they wandered over Tony. "Come to my office," he suggested... ordered.
All shields within Tony's psyche rose up in unison. He did not like discussing his problems. It wasn't that big a deal anyway. "I'm fine, Ducky. Just a long day. Need to go home."
Mallard nodded in a paternal fashion. "You're upset. Probably too upset to drive safely." His hand patted Tony's arm. "Come with me. I can make some tea or coffee." He paused then added; "I'll be honest and tell you Kate passed me on her way out here. She was very upset. Wouldn't say much to me, only something about hurting someone more than she meant to. I assume, given your attitude, that that person was you."
((Oh shit... fucking goddamn shit!)) Tony closed his eyes. "I really don't want to talk about it," he said as politely as he could manage, wishing hadn't wasted his time prancing around the garage. He could have been home by now, getting agitated in private.
"Well it might help," Ducky told him firmly, his expression more serious. "You really shouldn't drive in the state you're in." He cocked his head. "I'm a good listener... or good company."
Mallard's tone was casual. His suggestion was more an order. Tony considered then gave up and in. In a sense Ducky ranked over him and if he refused Gibbs would hear about it and then he would have to tell him about the whole thing. No, better only Ducky knew and he gave into the offer for a private talk... or maybe he could just sit detention until the old man decided he could go. "Okay."
"Right then!" Mallard released him, turned and started walking away... a silent order to follow.
TBC...