SquidgeWorld Archive

Aeryn stormed into Pilot's chamber, looking ready to kill someone.Chiana sat on one of the walkways, playing with a little cube she had, assumingly, swiped.

Aeryn glared at Chiana, then turned her gaze on John, who slept peacefully, back against Pilot's console, unaware of anyone else's presence.

"Aeryn," Chiana began," what's wrong with you?"

"Crichton was supposed to be in Command for his watch. I couldn't come to get him until now.

John stirred a bit, but didn't open his eyes.

Aeryn walked over and tried to shake him awake.

He was dead to the universe.

She looked up at Pilot, "Would you try?" Aeryn gave a DRD a meaningful look.

John shot up, opening his eyes, which led the other three to believe that he hadn't been asleep. "Huh - Aeryn! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," she ignored the look he gave her. "Your watch is almost over."

"Oh, Aeryn, I'm sorry -"

"Just get up there. Now."

John got up and left, Aeryn following. She muttered something about making sure he got there.

Chiana laughed at them, then went back to playing with her little, multi-coloured cube.

John marched up to one of the consoles and started checking it.

Talking over his shoulder, he tried to make amends with Aeryn, "Who has the next watch? Zhaan, right? Will you tell her I'll take it for her?"

"No, Zhaan doesn't have the next watch. You do. It's still my watch."

"Then why -"

"How many reasons do I have for coming to get you early?"

"I don't know. Maybe," he shook his head. Wishful thinking John told himself.

"Never mind," he said aloud.

There was an awkward pause.

"If you don't mind, I think I'm going to go back to sleep." John started to leave.

"You might as well stay," Aeryn replied. "You only have ten microns before your watch starts," she almost smiled at him as she strode over to one of the other consoles.

John looked at Aeryn for a few moments then walked over to her and stood closer than was probably wise. "You wouldn't mind?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him, "Why would I mind?"

For nearly a quarter of an arn, the two just stood, side by side, at the main command console. Neither spoke. They rarely even looked at one another, and when they did they tried valiantly to hide their smiles. Business as usual for the former Peacekeeper and the star-lost human.

And at times like these, John Crichton couldn't decide whether he was happier than he'd ever been, or just on his way to an ulcer. Simply being in the same room with Aeryn Sun touched him with an inexplicable sense of contentment. Here he was, who knew how many million light- years from Earth, and yet he was starting to wonder if he'd ever felt quite so at home.

He was also starting to wonder if he was going mad, and not just because he no longer missed his home world so badly. He...cared about Aeryn so much, and enjoyed being with her, yet he still couldn't bring himself to truly tell her how he felt. He wasn't sure he could even admit it to himself. And if he could, someday, force his own fears back for long enough to let this secret out, then how would she react?

He was a mere human, a 'deficient', as his shipmates so often referred to him-fondly, they insisted. Somehow he wondered. He had been lost for nearly a year now. He was gradually learning how this new world worked, how to survive, and even how to take care of his new friends. Truth be told, he was really rather proud of his adjustment. Yet even so...to Moya's other passengers-and especially to Aeryn Sun-he was hardly more than a child. How had she put it? "Slower than the densest new recruit"? What could she possibly see in him? John resisted an urge to sigh. They'd had a whole year together, and there was still so much ice left unbroken.

But perhaps that had been unavoidable. They'd known each other for a year now, true, but certainly not an easy one. So many distractions. Crais, Scorpy...even the other members of Moya's crew. Oh, John loved them all, they really had become like family...even Rygel, though he hadn't the faintest idea why...but they also made confronting his feelings for Aeryn that much harder. Moya was by no means a small ship, yet it seemed the two of them could rarely spend five minutes together without someone barging in on them. Usually Zhaan, calling for backup before D'Argo killed Rygel, or a bored Chiana looking for entertainment. In fact, come to think of it, such an interruption was several minutes overdue...

"Well...never look a gift horse in the mouth," John muttered to himself.

Aeryn looked up. "What?"

"Never mind," John replied. He began tapping at the view screen controls, panning the space surrounding the ship.

"Believe me, I won't," Aeryn assured him. "But just what do you think you're doing?"

"You'll see," John replied cryptically.

He wanted to make the most of this rare, quiet moment, to make it memorable, and he might just have found the way. He'd caught sight of an odd nebula nearby, and sent Pilot a request to move Moya closer. Soon, the entire screen was filled with swirling gases of every color imaginable; and just beyond that veil, a meteor shower was taking place, sparking like fairy lights.

John glanced over to find Aeryn actually smiling. "Well?"

"It's...beautiful," she admitted.

John grinned. "Make a wish..."

Several more minutes passed. Slowly, the couple drew closer together, until their shoulders were brushing, and John found Aeryn's right hand in his left. He turned...looked into her eyes...

And the interruption finally arrived, in the form of a brightly blinking light on the console and a loud beeping noise.

This time John did sigh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Aeryn frowned. "Looks like some sort of radiation warning."

"Any chance we could just ignore it?"

"Well...it doesn't look like it will do us or Moya any harm if the levels remain where they are, but we really should check it out. Find out where the problem's coming from."

Reluctantly, John nodded. "Yeah, you're right." He tapped his comm. "Yo, Pilot...are you reading some kind of radiation nearby?"

There was no response.

"Maybe your comm is malfunctioning," Aeryn suggested. She tapped her own.

"Pilot?" Still nothing. "Maybe the radiation's worse than I thought, if it's affecting the whole comm system. We'd better go down there, talk to Pilot directly."

But when they reached his chamber, Pilot was nowhere to be seen.

John's eyes grew wide. "What the...this can't be happening! He's bonded to the ship, isn't he?"

"Yup," Aeryn replied simply. She seemed to be taking this with utter calm...which suggested to John that she was nearly in shock.

"So he can't just get up and walk away, right?"

"Nope."

"So something very, very bad is going on."

"Almost certainly, yes."

And from there, things got worse. John and Aeryn split up, searched the ship, and found that Pilot wasn't the only one missing. Zhaan, D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel were missing as well.

John finally had Aeryn to himself, but he certainly couldn't enjoy it under these circumstances...could he?

At the end of the search, John returned to Pilot's Chamber. Aeryn was already there, standing behind the console. Her eyes were closed, her body very still...almost as if she were meditating. Something he might have expected from Zhaan...but Aeryn?

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes...I'm fine," she replied, but distantly, and her eyes didn't open. "I'm just...talking to Moya."

"You can do that?"

"Evidently, yes. Because of the DNA I share with Pilot, I would guess. Nothing else makes sense."

John nodded. "All right...so what's she telling you? Does she know what happened, where everybody else went?"

"No, John..." Now Aeryn did open her eyes; they still reflected that unnatural calm...but there almost seemed to be fear, too. "In fact, Moya doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about. She claims that for the last cycle, ever since she escaped from Peacekeeper control...you and I have been her only passengers."

After that, John found himself, for once, speechless. He and his friends had been through some seriously weird times here in the Uncharted Territories...but usually when things were at their most bizarre, Zhaan would take charge, sort everything out. He didn't have the first clue how to deal with this Twilight Zone stuff.

It didn't look like he had much of a choice, though. He'd have to think of something. Or Aeryn might...she had been known to surprise him like that. For right now, though...

"Look, we're both pretty tired and confused just now," John pointed out.

"Maybe we should get some sleep, hope that things make more sense in the morning."

Aeryn shrugged. "I don't see why they would, but it's as good a plan as any, for now."

They took one last walk around the ship, still searching for some hint of what had happened to their friends, but there was nothing to be found. At last they stood together outside the door to Aeryn's quarters.

"Well...I guess this is good night," John said. He started to turn away, heading back towards his own room.

"John..." Aeryn almost whispered. "I...don't want to be alone."

John blinked, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I mean...what if it happens again?" Aeryn's voice was stronger now. She was speaking faster, too, almost as if she were trying to hide something. Or was that just wishful thinking again? "What if I wake up tomorrow and you're gone too?"

John turned around again, nodding slowly. "I guess...I could sleep here. If it makes you more comfortable."

He began to sink down, leaning against the wall beside her door, but Aeryn shook her head firmly. "I want you where I can keep an eye on you."

She said it almost as if he were a dog that wasn't quite house-trained, but John still had to fight an urge to grin.

"Um, all right," John agreed. "In that case...do you have a couch in there, or something? Maybe a bathtub?"

"John, you know exactly what's in there," Aeryn replied witheringly. "My quarters are no different from yours."

"Right. Okay. No problem."

John followed her inside, and found himself a nice spot on the floor near the bed.

He lay back, arms behind his head, and closed his eyes...

And opened them again, barely a minute later. Aeryn lying on her side on the bed, staring down at him.

"That can't be comfortable," she observed.

John shrugged. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me, John. You're not very good at it."

"Well...think I could borrow a jacket? That's all I need, really." Aeryn still didn't look happy, but she nodded, and tossed one of her jackets down to him. He rolled it up, a makeshift pillow, and settled back down.

Another two minutes passed. John shifted positions several times, trying to get comfortable. Aeryn didn't move.

"John," she said finally, "get up here."

"Just go to sleep, Aeryn. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Really."

"Don't make me go down there, John."

John opened one eye. "You wouldn't."

Aeryn stared calmly back, half smiling. It wasn't exactly a nice smile.

John grinned nervously. "Well...if you insist..."

"I do."

"Right." Aeryn moved over, and John climbed up beside her on the bed. He turned on his side, facing away, and was careful to take up as little room as possible.

Aeryn coughed...politely? Well, something like that. John sighed, and turned onto his back. "Happy now?"

To his great surprise, Aeryn curled up against him, her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.

"Yes. Very happy."

A short while later, when Aeryn's breathing had become slow and regular and he was sure she was asleep, John leaned down, gently kissing the top of her head.

"I do love you, Aeryn Sun."

Then he lay back, with a quiet sigh, and closed his eyes.

Which is why he failed to see Aeryn smiling in her sleep...

Aeryn had lost count of how many times, as this morning, she had woken up in John's arms. She couldn't remember when John had started sleeping in her quarters. Nothing ever happened besides sleeping, which was just another confusing thing about the human, but she didn't completely dislike it. She was happy just to spent time with him. Whether always she showed it or not.

She looked at John, just watching him sleep.

Finally, very carefully, she got up, trying not to wake Crichton. Not that it mattered.

Aeryn knew, he wouldn't wake up, he never did, but she was careful nonetheless. Aeryn guessed she had a good arn before John got up. She normally did.

She sauntered through the corridors, making sure all was well, even though Moya could do that herself. The big ship seemed so empty at times, with only her and John, but she wasn't sure she wanted anyone else around. After an entire cycle in the Uncharteds it was much too late to change that now.

She smiled again when she realized she was back to her quarters, their quarters.

Aeryn entered and found John was still comatose, "That figures.. Lazy human," she muttered affectionately.

She sat down, leaning against the wall, watching him sleep again.

Today was the day.

Or rather, tonight would be the night. When John would finally ask what he had wanted to ask for so long. The question which had burned in his brain for he didn't know how long. Tonight, one way or another, it would be over with.

Which made his agitation that much worse, really. So close and yet so far. Why wait for tonight? Why not just get it over with now?

Because it was tradition.

But why should that matter? He'd never been particularly bound by traditions in the past, when he was back home on Earth. Never been big on "Kodak moments". He'd never believed in Events for their own sake.

Here, though...lost in space, so far from everything he'd ever know...the stupid little things, pointless Earth superstitions and sayings and traditions...they were all he had left. The only way he held on to his sanity.

Or maybe not. Maybe he had something more. Much more.

But he couldn't know until tonight.

John waited until he and Aeryn had finished their dinners that evening, at the little table he'd set up on the terrace. Well...what he called "evening", anyway.

Then he waited longer, because the right words seemed to be late. He'd expected them to just magically appear when he needed them. Which was stupid, of course.

Finally he sighed and stood up.

"Guess I just have to bite the bullet," he muttered to himself. "Sin and sin bravely. Go the whole nine yards...frell, I'm doing it again...always talk too much when I'm nervous..."

Aeryn just looked at him, knowing better than to say anything. Her eyes did widen, ever so slightly, as John knelt down beside her chair, and held out a tiny, fabric-covered box.

"Translator microbes don't fail me now..." John took a deep breath. "Aeryn Sun...would you do me the greatest honor in the universe...and agree to be my wife?"

Aeryn looked at him, her face which she so carefully kept expressionless registered her astonishment.

"John - I don't know what to say."

John looked at her, hopefully, then, when that got to be too much, he glanced down at the box and noticed he forgot to open it.

As he did, he told her, "I found it on the last commerce planet... The trader called it a Luxan Blood-Stone." He shrugged, still looking at the little, spherical crystal. "I figured it was the closest thing to a diamond I'd find out here..." He trailed off again, and looked at Aeryn once again.

Aeryn reached over and took his hand. " I want to, John. You have no idea how much. But... but are you sure this is a good idea?"

John frowned, looking confused. "Of course, I - Aren't you?"

"I don't know." She looked away and closed her eyes, not wanting to see him upset. "I'm not saying no..."

"...But you're not saying yes." John nodded, trying to be understanding.

The best he could manage was to try to shut off his emotions all together, ignore the pain, but it didn't work. "It's okay, I understand. I guess... I guess I've just been pushing things too hard." He started to leave.

"No!" Aeryn looked at him again. "If you honestly believe this is best, then," her voiced dropped drastically, "yes."

John turned back, uncertainly, "Aeryn, I'm not... I love you more than anything, but if you don't feel ready..."

"I care about you more than I ever though possible... If you want to me wear that ring to prove it to you, I will."

John looked down at the box lid. "Maybe this was silly of me. I mean, if it's not what you want -"

"I didn't say it's not what I want."

"But you didn't say it IS what you DO want, either."

"John... I'm not supposed to feel the way I do about you, according to everything I was ever taught," Aeryn got quieter, still. "I don't know how to handle it."

John pocketed the ring and stepped closer to her, then took her in his arms. His reply was soft; he was almost talking into her shoulder. "Do we ever know how to handle these feelings?"

Aeryn leaned into him, closing her eyes once again. She was still talking very quietly, hardly above a whisper; it sounded as if she was forcing the words out, "I do love you, John Crichton." She paused, "But do you mind if I get used to that first?"

John smiled quietly, "Not at all, Aeryn Sun. You're worth the wait."

Several months later, Aeryn sat in Moya's cavernous control center, communing silently with the great ship. The Leviathan could take care of herself most of the time, but it still helped to check with her every so often, make sure all her systems were running smoothly.

At Aeryn's side, John leaned on the console, looking over the oddly-shaped controls. He placed his hands over one of them, spreading his fingers as wide as they could go, yet the button was still larger.

"Aeryn..."

She glanced at him, still tapping at...well, leaning into...some of the other buttons. "Hmm?"

"Have you ever wondered about who this place was built for? I mean...it's huge. You can barely reach some of those controls. What kind of being was meant to sit here, do you think?"

"A Pilot," Aeryn answered simply. "I really don't know why Moya doesn't have one."

"You've seen Pilots before, then?"

She nodded. "Quite a few."

"They wouldn't be...oh...great, big, blue...or maybe purple...shell-headed creatures, with a whole bunch of arms, with big claws on the ends? Very soft-spoken creatures...very gentle..."

"They only have four arms," Aeryn corrected him. "But yes...I'd say that's a fairly accurate description. I wasn't aware you'd encountered one..."

John frowned. "Neither was I."

Dusk on yet another dusty, bazaar-style (and just plain bizarre) commerce planet. John was the first one out of the transport pod, and as Aeryn emerged behind him, he turned to gallantly offer his arm.

"Shall we stroll the shops, m'lady?" he asked in his silliest British accent.

Aeryn rolled her eyes, though she did take his arm. "You get stranger every day."

John thrust his nose in the air in a fit of mock-pique. "I shall take that as a compliment." He made the mistake of glancing back at her reaction, though-the usual 'are all humans insane, or just you, Crichton?' look-and burst out laughing.

"Come on." Aeryn sighed and started them moving. "I don't want to stay down here one microt longer than we have to."

John stuck his tongue out at her. "You're no fun anymore!"

"Oh really?" she replied calmly, one eyebrow slightly raised.

"Wait a minute, are you thinking we should get back to the ship soon because..."

"Because?" She was looking right at him, now, but he still couldn't see what she was getting at.

He did have some...interesting theories, however. "Because...you've got some sort of plan? Something we might do, you and I, when we get back?" "Maybe. You'll just have to find out when we get there, won't you?"

"Oh." A goofy grin began to spread across John's face, and he tried in vain to banish it. "Well. We'd better hurry, then, hadn't we?" Aeryn only nodded, and John scrubbed at his eyes with one hand, struggling to pull his thoughts back down to earth. Or wherever they were. "Let's see...we need...what? Some spare parts for the DRDs, and some more food cubes?"

"And more chakran oil, if we can find it."

"Right, chakran...chakran oil..."

Suddenly John froze, a vague, shadowy...memory? Hallucination?

Something, flashing before his eyes. He could see a squat frog-like creature, having a rather...dramatic reaction to some sort of food containing chakran oil.

Aeryn stopped too, still holding his arm, her eyes concerned. "John...are you all right?"

John shook his head, clearing it as best he could. "I'm...fine, really. We just...we really need to find some new food cubes. I think that last batch must be going bad. I'm getting some pretty whacked out mental pictures...whew, that was not something I needed to see!" Finally he forced himself to start walking again.

Arms still linked, they walked through the market. John made his usual, misplaced comments about everything he saw and Aeryn tried not to laugh at or murder him.

They stopped at a clothing stall and Aeryn felt the Sebacean equivalent of deja vu.

John noticed the fact that she didn't keep going and then the look on her face. "Whoa, you okay? Now you're spacing out on me."

Aeryn reached over, her hand hovering over the cloak, almost touching it. "What? ...Oh... I'm fine... I just recognize this and I don't know why..."

"Well, we've been to enough commerce planets, seen enough..." he hesitated as he took a close look at the cloak for he first time.

"You're probably right," Aeryn was saying.

John shook his head, slowly, "C'mon, the sooner we back home, the better."

Aeryn sat on the terrace alone, trying in vain to understand her thoughts. After a while she sighed, then hit her comm, "John?"

She heard a muffled thud, then what passed for cursing from him before, "Uh, yeah, Aeryn, what's up?"

She frowned, partly in annoyance at herself, partly at his phase. The translator microbes still didn't work most of the time when she talked to him, even after almost two cycles. "Nothing." A pause. "Are you busy?"

"Actually, I'm kinda in the middle of some repairs. Might take me another, oh, half arn. Hopefully. But if it's urgent..."

"Oh, no, it's nothing... Do you need any help?"

"Naw, I'm doing okay."

"All right. Never mind, then."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"All right. If you say so."

A little while later she got up and started, slowly toward the maintenance bay, trying to take up that half arn.

She frowned to herself when she noticed she was there much too quickly.

John felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and knew he was no longer alone. Backing slowly out of Farscape One's service hatch, he turned to find Aeryn standing at the door, the look on her face strangely conflicted. He frowned. "Aeryn...what is it? Something bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me."

"You sure?" John pressed. He wiped his hands on a rag, then tossed it into the toolbox and moved closer to the door, cocking his head curiously to one side.

"You look...I dunno. Like something's on your mind."

"I have been thinking about something," she admitted quietly. "But nothing's wrong."

"Then...what? C'mon...you can tell me."

Aeryn seemed to find something fascinating about the deck beneath her boots, and John held back a sigh. He knew her pretty well by now, at least he liked to think so; but even so, even after nearly two years alone together, he couldn't read her. He might be able to tell when something was getting to her, but rarely what. And why...almost never. She had the most extraordinarily expressive (and of course beautiful) face he'd ever seen, yet she could still hide away her feelings like no one else.

"Look, if you're not ready to talk now, I could finish up here, and meet you in the mess hall?" he suggested gently. "Maybe half an arn?"

The suggestion was ignored. Instead she said, "A few months ago, you asked me something. Do you remember what it was?"

John suddenly felt as if his entire body had become one great big hollow in which his heart was bouncing around. He knew exactly what she was talking about, of course, but couldn't decide why, and whether this was good or bad. Perhaps he should have known better, perhaps what was about to happen had been inevitable from the time she appeared at the cargo bay door. Or from the moment they first met. Or long before that, even. But by this point John had stopped thinking, and could only feel.

"Yes," he answered solemnly. "I asked you to marry me."

"And do you still want me too?"

John eyes widened for the briefest moment, and it was several longer ones before he managed to say, "Aeryn, of course, I...are you sure about this?" Her only reply was a raised eyebrow. She hardly seemed to be taking this seriously!

"I mean...I don't want you to feel you owe me anything, because you don't. Don't do this just because you think it's what I want. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, really, but especially not to you..."

"John, I told you then that I wanted to, but I couldn't. I think I can now."

"But...this is really what you want? Don't even worry about me...all that I care is that you're happy..."

Finally she looked up. "Yes. I want to."

For a seemingly infinite moment he just stared into her eyes...and realized that she meant it. He found himself grinning, wider than he ever had in his life, and glancing to the ceiling, to the sky, barely resisting the urge to shout out loud. Then he was grabbing her up in a huge hug, holding her so tight, laughing and crying all at once, uncontrollably. And she was hugging him back, holding him just as close. Finally she drew back...only far enough to kiss him, her lips barely brushing against his own.

"Thank you for waiting," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"How could I not?" he answered simply.

"I was afraid that the more we were together, the less you would want to..."

Gently, he shook his head. "Every moment we've been together, I've loved you that much more." Finally Aeryn smiled, and John sighed and hugged her again, almost collapsing against her. "I'm still not sure what you see in a deficient like me, but hey..."

Aeryn grinned. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't know either..."

"That's good enough for me!"

"Well, I think this is cause for a celebratory...food cubes, don't you?" John asked once the tears, laughter and hugs-well, some of them, anyway-were finally out of his system.

"Food cubes, celebratory?" Aeryn replied, perplexed. "Why food cubes?"

John frowned. "Wait...you're right...we've got all kinds of stuff in the galley...why was I expecting someone to have eaten it all?"

"You didn't hit your head, by any chance?" Aeryn asked, smiling wryly. "Working on that bucket of...I'm sorry, that wonderful module of yours?"

Mature to the end, John stuck his tongue out at her. "Yeah, well...let's just go grab something to eat, okay?"

"What happened to those important modifications you were making?"

"Oh, they can wait," John assured her, glancing back at the ship...which chose just that moment to creak ominously. "Or not."

Aeryn sighed. "We'd better just get them over with."

John grinned. "We?"

"Yes, we," she answered. "The sooner the buck-module," Aeryn grinned, "is fixed, the sooner we can do something else..."

"First.." Smiling, John reached over and gently took Aeryn's hand, then slipped the ring into her finger.

Aeryn smiled in return, then heard the FS1 creak again, " Your 'ship' needs to be finished... "

"You're a real mood killer, you know that?" John angrily told the module.

It creaked again in response.

Aeryn tried not to laugh at them both.

John walked over to it, calling over his shoulder, "You know.. there's really only enough room for one of us under there..."

Aeryn shrugged and sat down. "I didn't really want to help, to begin with."

About half an arn later, John's muffled voice came from under the ship, "Okay.. 'M almost done..."

True to his words, a few microns later, John started out from under the module. "All right.. All do-OW! Damn!"

"Are you all right?" Aeryn asked, starting over to him.

John stood up, hand over his shoulder, "I dunno.. I can't see it...Can you take a look?"

When he moved his hand, it was to show a rather deep cut, almost as long as Aeryn's hand. She gently touched it, her fingers covered in blood.

"It doesn't look life threatening," she told him.

"Oh, that's a relief," he replied sarcastically.

Not that Aeryn heard him. Instead, she found herself thinking of a similar incident... On a jungle planet.. A friend was hurt... Black blood ran through her fingers as she tried to turn it clear...Hitting his back as hard as she could... But since when did Sebacean blood flow clear? she wondered. "You will die...but not today," she murmured.

"Uh...Aeryn? You don't faint at the sight of blood, do you?"

"What? No. Come on, let's go to clean that up."

Several weeks later, John stood outside a closed door, wearing an outfit which might ...possibly...during a solar eclipse...have been mistaken for a tuxedo.

"John?" Aeryn's voice was muffled, and a little annoyed. Just a little. "Why won't you let me open this door?"

"Look...I'm not really sure it's bad luck, but better safe than sorry, right?" John asked, then hurried on before her grumbling could evolve into a full-blown argument. "Anyway, this priestess should be docking with us in half an arn. I'll meet her then, take care of everything." More dark mutters and curses came from Aeryn's side of the door. "Just be down at the cargo bay in an arn and a half, okay?"

There was a long pause, and then, "Fine."

"See you then."

No worries.

The last five minutes were the longest John had ever endured, waiting for Aeryn in the cargo bay, fidgeting constantly, rocking slightly, back and forth, on the balls of his feet. The priestess, a Delvian Pa'u, was of course utterly calm. Her hands were clasped before her and her eyes were closed...meditating or something, he supposed...and yet there seemed to be a slight quirk to her mouth, a quietly amused smile. John almost wondered if he should be offended, yet instead he found her manner strangely reassuring. He hadn't the faintest idea why.

Finally the doors whooshed open, Aeryn stepped in...and John's jaw dropped, even as the corners turned up, just a bit. He had realized a long time ago that Aeryn was far and away the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, but she'd never been so beautiful as today...

Even if she did look a little annoyed at having been locked in her quarters for so long. "Is there any other human tradition I need to know about?" she asked from the doorway.

John blinked, trying to pull himself back down to the moment. "Well, there's...um...no, not exactly. You just...stand there." He waved vaguely at a spot on the floor beside him.

Aeryn stared back at him for a moment, then shrugged, and started down the length of the cargo bay. John realized he was humming the wedding march to himself, softly and nervously, and bit his lip. At last they stood together before the Pa'u.

The Delvian looked first to John. "You said you wished to say something before we began the Blessing and the Binding, did you not?"

Again, John blinked, for a moment unsure of what she was talking about. Then he remembered. "Oh...oh, right. Thank you."

Aeryn was, inevitably, even more confused. "You did?"

John nodded, and coughed a little. Then he took a deep breath, and stared down at his feet for a moment. Finally he forced himself to look up, right into Aeryn's eyes, and took her hands in his own.

"When I first came here, I was lost. The stranger in a strange land, literally. And yet, the moment I met you...I felt as if I'd come home for the first time. It took me a while to admit this to myself, of course, but the longer I knew you, the more impossible it became to resist. I used to think...hope, even...that getting shot through that wormhole was a nightmare. Now I know the only nightmare would be a life without you, Aeryn Sun."

Then he waited, watching her face for a reaction. He saw only the faintest of smiles, the slightest of sparkles in her eyes, yet from Aeryn that meant more than the most joyous laughter or the warmest hug.

"John, when I first got stuck here on Moya...I would have done anything to go back to my old life. Now, I..." She trailed off, and John just smiled, not pressuring her, simply more in love than ever before. At last Aeryn sighed. "I can't imagine being anywhere else."

In a way, the ceremony seemed to go on forever, and John felt as if he have lived his whole life in that perfect moment. And yet, at the same time, it seemed to be over in the blink of an eye, and suddenly the priest was saying, "You may kiss the bride."

Aeryn gaped, first at John, then at the Pa'u, then back at John again. "Since when did the Blessing and the Binding ceremony end like that?"

"Yes, well...I asked if we might make a little change," John admitted. "Literary license. Another strange human thing, I guess you'd say. Are we going to just stand here arguing about it, or...?"

The Pa'u seemed to be barely withholding a smirk, which didn't help matters.

"You might have told me!" Aeryn pointed out, then preceded to mutter something about never trusting humans again.

John sighed. "I give up!" And he took Aeryn in his arms, and kissed her. She did seem to enjoy it, though she would swear afterwards that the priestess had been laughing at them the entire time.

Aeryn frowned at John, as he stood in front of their quarters, blocking the door.

"All right. Trust me on this one!"

She took a step back as he moved to pick her up, "Why?"

"Because I have to carry you over the threshold."

Aeryn gave him a confused look, "That doesn't answer my question."

He sighed, "Aeryn... Why have I been doing strange things all day?"

"I'm still trying to figure out why you did certain things half a cycle ago!"

"For humans, taking a lifelong partner is one of the most significant choices we ever make-"

Aeryn broke in, "PeaceKeepers don't take life partners! Ever. I think that would make it a little more significant for me!"

John continued with his original thought, but slightly subdued, "-And we have a lot of traditions that go along with that."

"That makes absolutely no sense!"

"Well, maybe it doesn't, but we do! All right? Humans are weird. I can admit that. And you've know that as long as you've known me, right?"

"I would be very dense if I didn't."

"Yeah, well, fine. If you don't want to go through with all of this... I don't know... Maybe this whole thing was a mistake," John turned away from her, but not before she saw the frown.

"John, don't..."

He didn't turn, didn't answer her.

"If you thought this was a mistake, why did we go through with it?"

"Because... because... I wanted to be with you so badly... that I let myself believe maybe, just maybe, you could feel the same way about me. But now, I..." he trailed off, and sagged against the door, his face still turned away.

"If I thought it was a mistake do you think I would have gone through with it?"

Her only answer came in the form of humorless laughter.

"If I didn't care about you?"

"Well," John began, still laughing, "it was easier than throwing me out an airlock."

Aeryn frowned, "This isn't funny."

John finally looked at her, "Aeryn, I'm sorry." He paused, "I never should have..."

"Done this?"

Now she turned away, waiting for an answer, hoping he would deny it.

When no answer came, she started to walk away, wanting, needing to be anywhere else.

"Aeryn wait!"

She stopped, but didn't turn.

"What I'm trying to say," he sighed. "I should have never expected my stupid human anything to matter to you." He had grown so quiet by the end, she had to strain to hear him.

Aeryn turned to see him on the floor, head in his heads. She sighed. "You really don't understand anything, do you, Crichton?"

He looked up at her. John's obvious confusion made Aeryn hide a smile.

"What?" He asked, almost defensively.

"Your 'stupid human' self matters more to me than anything else in this universe!"

John stared dumbly at her.

Aeryn shook her head slightly at him, still trying not to laugh. "Do me a favor and stand up."

"Okay..." he answered slowly, doing as she asked.

Aeryn walked over, picked him up, carried him into the room and put him back down before he could protest, or even realize what happened. John looked back and forth between Aeryn and the door for a moment, before he grinned.

"There," Aeryn stated, matter-of-factly, "It's not a human tradition, now. It's ours."

John grinned broadly at her, "Good. I like it better this way."

"Is there anything else about human marriages I should know?" Aeryn asked, almost returning his grin.

"Well..." John started.

A few arns later, Aeryn and John lay, peacefully sleeping, wrapped in each other's arms.

A gruff voice pierced the calm, "Aeryn, you must listen to me." The voice waited for a response. Getting none, it tried again, "Aeryn Sun, listen to me!"

Aeryn muttered something in her sleep and half woke. She looked at John, saw he was still asleep and decided the voice must have been her imagination, and started to drift off again.

The voice came once again, louder and more demanding, "Aeryn!"

She jumped and looked around in confusion.

"Aeryn, you have to hear me. Do you know who I am?"

"No," she stated, calmly, then began muttering to herself. "There's no one there. There can't be. Moya would have told me."

"Moya doesn't remember," the voice explained. "And neither do you, it seems. There's something strange about this nebula. So Zhaan says, anyway. It's clouding your thoughts somehow."

"Zhaan? I know no one by that name."

"You did once. She's a Delvian Pa'u. Just as you knew me, D'Argo. And Chiana. And Moya's Pilot, she did have one, whether she remembers him or not. And the little yutz Rygel. You knew all of us once. We traveled together on this ship."

"Crichton and I have been alone on Moya for over two cycles. No one has ever been here with us," Aeryn protested.

The voice, D'Argo, sighed, mostly to himself. "Are you happy, Aeryn?"

She frowned. "Yes. Why does it matter?"

D'Argo sounded resigned, "Zhaan and I suspected as much."

Aeryn's frown deepened, "Would you, whoever the frell you are, mind telling me what the hezmona you're talking about? Why does it matter if I'm happy?!"

"Well," D'Argo started to sound a bit uncomfortable, "We noticed only you and Crichton were missing. We guessed either you killed him, then something happened to you, or," he stopped.

When he began again, his voice was serious, "Aeryn, I'm sorry." Pause. "If you've truly found happiness, I could never ask you to give that up for me. But Chiana... Zhaan... all of us have been trapped." D'Argo's voice started to fade, "Only you and Crichton can set this right."

"I don't know you!" Aeryn protested again, "I don't owe you anything!"

Aeryn walked into Command, only to see John standing in the middle of the room, staring off into space. She smiled slightly as she walked to one of the consoles, making sure all was in order.

"Morning, Mrs. Crichton."

"Good morning, John."

They were both silent for a few microns, then John finally looked over his shoulder at her.

"Aeryn... you didn't... happen to dream last night, by any chance, did you?"

Slowly, "Yes..." Then she muttered to herself, "At least I hope it was a dream."

"Someone spoke to you?" John prodded. "Claimed they had had know us? Traveled with us? On Moya?" He turned to face her as he talked.

Aeryn barely nodded once, "Yes. How did you...?

"Because last night, I spoke to a Pa'u, not the same one that performed the ceremony yesterday, but...well, we knew she reminded us of someone."

"Need I remind you how many Delvians we've seen on different planets?"

John held up his hands in defense, "I know, Aeryn, I know, but still..."

He sighed and hung his head, then looked up at her again, seemingly trying to find an argument in between the actions. "Aeryn, if she was right, five people, our friends, are trapped."

Aeryn had, more or less, calmly listened to him through all of this. "I don't remember them. And you know as well as I do we've been here alone. No one else has been here."

"Do I? I did. But now, I just don't know anymore. I've had the strangest feelings." He paused. "And if she's right...this could all be our fault. Zhaan said the nebula was, somehow, reacting to our desires."

"You want to do something about it," she stated. "Or try."

"I think we have to."

"Even if it means giving ...everything up?" Aeryn refused to look at him by this point, so she missed the pain that crossed John's face.

When he didn't answer, she started again, almost talking to herself. "Yesterday wouldn't have happened, had I known this then."

John quickly covered the short distance between them, took her by the shoulders, and tried to look her in the eyes, she wouldn't let him.

"Aeryn, please. No matter what happens, I will always love you. No matter how many worlds I have to fight my way through, I will find you. But we can't just abandon-"

Now she looked him in the eye, angrily cutting him off, "-People we don't know?!"

It was John's turn to look away, though he didn't let go of her shoulders. Softly, he tried to reason with her. "Aeryn, if you don't think we should do this, if you don't trust me..." He looked her in the eyes once again. "We won't."

"Don't. You had your mind made up from the moment you woke up."

"But I won't make this decision without you."

"You already have. And you'll never forgive either of us if we don't."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "How could I not forgive you for anything?"

Aeryn almost smiled wryly. "You'd find a way."

He shook his head. "No, of course not."

She sighed and pulled away. "Until we get them back, whoever they are and if we ever had them, and no matter what happens then...don't try to lie to me." With that she turned and started to walk away.

"Aeryn! Just wait! I would NEVER lie to you! Even after all this time you think that little of me?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" She spun back around, but didn't walk back to him.

John took a deep breath, sounding more in control of his temper when he began again. "Aeryn, I'm not lying. I could never blame you for what happens or doesn't happen here, now. But you're right. I'm not going to be able to live with myself if we don't at least try to do something about this."

"Lying to yourself if just as bad, John. And you would be, telling yourself it wasn't my fault."

"It wouldn't be. Because it's still my choice, in the end. And if you're against it, then I won't do it."

"I already told you, it doesn't matter how I feel."

"It does to me."

"If you want to, and I know you do," Aeryn sighed. "Then, fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Right," John ran a hand through his hair, trying to think as he looked at the nearest console.

"Zhaan said it had something to do with the nebula... She seemed to think, if we could starburst out of here, get away from its influence, that the problem should be solved."

"That's plausible, I suppose. Except for one small detail."

"Oh?"

"There's no frelling nebula out there!"

"Ohhh, that. Yeah." John sighed. "Aeryn, I know it's crazy... but, somehow... I can feel it. I just know it's there."

"That's not quite as crazy as some of the things you've come up with," Aeryn muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He half grinned. "Anyway, the problem is...evidently, Moya can't just starburst normally. We have to do it, manually. And we have to talk Moya through it, help her to see through the...whatever it is that's clouding our minds, because it's clouding her sensors, too. Otherwise, it won't work."

"And how do we do that?" Aeryn asked, skeptically.

"We'll have to..." John sighed again, "you'll have to talk to her again. I guess we should head down to Pilot's chamber. And since we have to activate starburst..."

All too soon, they stood side by side at Pilot's console. What was supposed to be Pilot's console. What would be again, if this worked.

"Aeryn... are we ready?"

"Yes, we are," she answered calmly. Too calmly, and her gaze remained locked firmly on the control pads.

John took her by the shoulders and turned her gently to face him.

"Aeryn... whatever happens... I love you. I'll find you. We'll find each other again, I promise you."

Of course, he hadn't told her his secret fear. Zhaan had said this fantasy...this whole life, alone with Aeryn...must have been built around a wish, a secret desire. But she hadn't said who's wish, who's desire...John's? Or Aeryn's? Or both? How could he know how much of this was real? Even Aeryn could be part of the illusion. Even John himself could be, for all he knew.

And worse, Zhaan hadn't said why this world had been created, why the wish or desire had been so strong. What if...what if Aeryn had died, as things were 'supposed' to be? Or John had. What if this whole dream was built on grief, on regrets, on feelings unspoken? That could never be spoken, now?

In that case...nothing changed. Five beings, five friends, still needed their help. He couldn't abandon them. And when John swore he'd find Aeryn, he meant it.

Nothing would stand in their way. Not even death.

"I hope you believe that enough for both of us," Aeryn said quietly.

"I don't have to believe. I know."

Aeryn nodded, all too calmly. "Moya understands what we're asking her to do. She's ready."

John reached out, his palm hovering over the final ignition pad. Aeryn placed her hand over his. Together, they pressed down...

"Don't look," John whispered.

He leaned in, kissing her hard on the mouth.

Moya lurched into starburst.

There was a blinding flash of light...

***

The morning after Moya passed by that odd nebula, John was surprised to run into Aeryn just outside Pilot's chamber.

"Oh...morning."

She nodded matter-of-factly, "Morning."

"So, uh...what brings you down here?"

Aeryn shrugged, "No reason. You?"

"Naw, no reason. I just..." think I had a dream "felt like it, I guess."

Again, she nodded, and together they entered.

"Yo, Pilot!" John called out. "Long time no see!"

Pilot frowned. "But commander, you were here just last night. Sleeping, if I recall correctly."

"Yeah, yeah...I know," John replied, trying to ignore Aeryn's raised eyebrow and faint smirk. "It's just...a figure of speech, okay?"

"If you say so," Pilot agreed politely, but...good grief, was he smirking too? This life got weirder all the time...

"Well, anyway..." he started again. "It's always good to see you, Pilot."

John reached out to lean on the edge of the console, but Aeryn had beaten him to it, and he found his hand atop hers instead.

They looked at each other for a moment. Neither one smiled, yet neither drew back.