SquidgeWorld Archive

Kate was dead... and it was his fault. He should have taken that bullet not her. They'd gotten the...`thing' that killed her, well Gibbs had did anyways, but that didn't help. I should have been the one shot not her. Just looking at her body...cold...white...laying there... she'd look so peaceful if not for the...

"Death is apart of life, even for us...especially for us."

I could feel Tony's eye watching me. Tony should have done something he was right their. Why wasn't he the one shot? Either of them and she'd still be alive...they all would be.

"We are not gods McGee, we can't move faster than bullets or see the future. We're only human, just with longer lives."

That just means we get to see everyone we know die, and everyone we will know, "How," I asked looking at Tony looking who was down at Kate, "How do you go on when everyone you know will... will..." all he can see is Kate. Everywhere he looks is Kate.

"You remember them. The good the bad, you don't forget them," Tony was softy stroking her hair now...I wanted to as well but was to afraid to touch her.

How many people had Tony lost over the years...I don't even know how old the man really was...how many people had he lost, how did he do it, "what it that's not enough," It felt like it wouldn't be and this was the first time how could he do it over and over...how.

"Some time's it's not, some of us close ourselves off from the word for years or decades at a time. Finding some place they can be alone till they're ready to reenter the world...or they go looking for a fight they knew they couldn't win."

I can feel Tony eyes boring into me now...did he think that I would..."I'm not going to do that Tony," I may not feel like living right now but I'm not looking to die for real either.

"See that you don't Probie," Tony sounded to much like Gibbs at times...at lest he wouldn't be dying any time soon. "I've got a good old bottle of Scotch that I think need's to be opened...I could use some help drinking it if you want?"

"Sure" I took one last look at Kate before running a hand threw her hair, "Good bye Kate."