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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,281
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1/1
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8
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1,026

For The First Time In A Very Long Time...

Summary:

Title: For The First Time In A Very Long Time…
Genre: Due South (M/M) Slash
Summary: The Call Of The Wild was not enough..! (fixing the finale)
Disclaimer: God, how I wished Benton Fraser was mine; God, how I wish he was real!! And, God, if he were, I may even watch him and Ray Vecchio from a far, and just be happy that they were happy… I love them being together!! Dear things! BUT I know that neither of them are real (more’s the pity, obviously!)… And, I know, fictional or non-fictional, makes no difference… Neither of them are mine..!!!

Work Text:

Title: For The First Time In A Very Long Time…
Genre: Due South (M/M) Slash
Summary: The Call Of The Wild was not enough..! (fixing the finale)
Disclaimer: God, how I wished Benton Fraser was mine; God, how I wish he was real!! And, God, if he were, I may even watch him and Ray Vecchio from a far, and just be happy that they were happy… I love them being together!! Dear things! BUT I know that neither of them are real (more’s the pity, obviously!)… And, I know, fictional or non-fictional, makes no difference… Neither of them are mine..!!!




This story is for Nikki on her Birthday : Because she has given me so much inspiration - Leading by example as she does!! With Love, from Bethany xxx


I wanted to. I meant to even. But when I finally got back to Benny, he seemed quite happy. Kowalski was with him, in my shoes. I’d stepped into someone else’s. All that time I’d spent being Armando Langostini. Italian Mafia Mastermind; laughed at all the so called ‘right’ things, did all the wrong things, played into the role…Spent a lot of time stamping my blueprint on the world in God’s, or Avarice’s name… Every time I laughed at a joke one of them made about someone they thought was gay, cos they didn’t think God would mind them laughing, since he supposedly doesn’t like that kinda thing… Every time I saw them committing real sins: committed them myself even, I’d sit there thinkin’: Ray, if the devil did create anything at all of homosexuality, it’s the discord between what people believe about it… It’s the damn fact that we allow ourselves to argue that pulls us away from God..! What, if not God, did I have to hold onto, while I lived as Armando?? Certainly not Benny. But while I discovered that God actually was real to me, my life-raft in the middle of hell, that realisation made my criminal life all the harder to live with…
I was terrified of going home to Chicago…I’d left everyone. As simple as that. Left them. I should have said no. I should have turned down the job. I should have had the guts to sneak off to say goodbye to the people I love…. Actually, like I said, I shouldn’t have left them at all..!
Faced as I was with being back home, it seemed Benny was living without me. He’d set up a ‘new’ life…
Even my family had changed. Frannie had become step-mom to six kids overnight. She’s still with their Pa now. Settled. Happy. Provided with love and providing love as Mom, wife, and, respected home-maker. God bless her! She’s so very happy! My brother in law is a good guy. I can trust him. He got dealt a bad hand, being widowed and alone with six kids(Wait ‘til you hear these names! Iago, Daniel, Rafe, Gallahad, Mirabel, and Jayden!!) - but he managed, and when he found my sister, it was love that invited her into his life and into his home. They have three kids (Damiano, Lucano and Georgina) ‘of their own’ now, too. So, I’m an uncle 9 times over and that’s just through Frannie. Never mind the Jazillion others!!
Ma never quite believes I’m not gonna leave her somehow, walk out of her life again… Like my Pa did. I go see her as often as I can, but I doubt I’ll ever feel as though I’ve made up for it, and I doubt even more that she’ll ever stop looking at me with frightened, cried and un-cried, tears in her eyes…
So, anyhow, faced with all this, and a very attractive woman, I ran away again – Taking her with me. And I did my best to love her. I really did. But wife number two left me after four years…
So, I went back home, again, to Chicago. At least that made Ma happy. I got a flat. Not in the same building as Benny’s. I couldn’t face that… But I got a place. And I made a living buying and selling rare car parts for even rarer cars. Did most of my business on the internet.
Life was ticking along like it always did… And then, Frannie rang me. “I’ve heard from Fraser.” She’d said. “He enquired as to where you were living these days. If you were happy… I told him you’d come back to Chicago, without Stella…”
“And what else did you tell him?” I’d asked, trying to figure out my sister for the umpteenth time.
“Nothing…” She stated. “He said he wants to come see you, so I gave him your address…”
“Ohh, right… Thanks, Fran..!” I said, not knowing which way I meant my own words. “When should I expect him??” I didn’t really, not even then.
“I’m here, Ray…” It was Benny’s voice on the phone.
“You are..?” I managed.
“Yes, Ray.” He replied patiently. “Here, at your sister’s house.” He clarified. “Would it be wrong of me to come and see you?”
“Noooo…” I answered quickly. I felt like I was gonna pass out right there and then. Then, maybe he’d climb in through a window or break down a door to be here with me. Oh, Jesus! “Come on over…”
“Diefenbaker is here also…” Benny informed me.
“How’d you manage that again..!?” I asked.
“It was you who assisted us in winning his exemption rights, do you not recall?” Benny asked lightly.
“Yes.” I did.
“Well, then, Ray, we shall see you in a moment. Would that be good for you..?” He checked.
Would that be good for me!? God, I prayed so! But who knew..!?? Well, yeah, ok, God did..!

“Hello, Ray…” Benny stood on my doorstep. He hadn’t aged a day. Mind you, his usual attire had changed. He now wore a cream roll-neck jumper and faded blue jeans; he’d gotten used to living up North again, it seemed…
“Where’s Kowalski?” I asked.
“I did not say that I had brought him with me, Ray… Only Diefenbaker.” The dog-wolf whined at his master’s side; he did not like the ‘only’. “Would you have liked me to have travelled here with Stanley..?”
“No, no. I’m fine with you on your own!” I murmured. “As long as Stanley’s ok with that. Stanley is ok isn’t he??”
“With this, yes, I would imagine so. In fact, last I heard from him, Stanley was okay in general…” Frasier replied, still standing, hands behind his back, shiny black boots on my doorstep.
“What happened?” I had a grip on the doorframe.
“He really did fall in love, Ray, so we stopped keeping each other company…” Benny explained.
“And you stopped travelling..?” I questioned.
“Yes. Stanley and I have stopped travelling together, and I have hung up my all-terrain boots. So has Diefenbaker. The furthest we’ve travelled from our cabin is here, to see you, Ray…”
I was brave enough to step back from the door then, hoping he wouldn’t just stare at the bigger gap between us.
Benny walked into the space I had made for him. Diefenbaker went off to lay on my sofa…
Ben and I kissed there and then, standing behind my front door. We left Dief on the sofa and went up to bed together, for the first time in a very long time…

The End..?
5.6.06