SquidgeWorld Archive

It had been bad enough to work his way through class with perfume lingering in the air. The lecture hall had smelled vaguely of rotting flowers, and Charlie, in hopes of averting itchy eyes and cranky sinuses, had opened one of the windows at the far side of the room. That had, in turn, allowed no small amount of flower pollen to waft in, and he'd ended up with itchy eyes and cranky sinuses anyway. But now things were even worse. All the women who had worn perfume to class seemed to have decided that freshening up directly outside of the room was the best idea possible, and Charlie had to wade through a small shower of badly scented mists just to get to his office, where he was then forced to sit through another two hours of perfume and cologne.

Office hours, Charlie decided, should be banned for life.

After the last student left, Charlie shut the door, laid down on his couch, and tried to will his sinuses into behaving. It didn't work, and as he was about to get up and trudge to the union for an overpriced box of Benadryl, Larry walked in the door with two pills and a bottle of water in one hand. "If that's not something for my sinuses, you can leave."

"Formal Mondays always leave you in a bad mood." Larry crossed the office and pushed at Charlie's knee to force him to make room.

"I am allergic to citric acid, and half the people in my last class seem to use perfumes that abuse it for an ingredient. And then I had office hours."

"Which can be an entirely different headache." Larry pressed the tablets into Charlie's palm and tapped his wrist. "Take those." He held out the water. "And drink this."

"You're a doctor in physics."

"I'm the man with the pills."

Charlie smiled as he threw back the pills and drank some water. "Today, you're salvation."

"You never remember Benadryl."

"You always have it anyway."

"I have it because you never remember." Larry reached over to Charlie's desk and snagged the box of tissues as Charlie started sneezing. "If you had it, you could take it *before* class on Formal Mondays, and then you wouldn't be so miserable."

"Yeah, but if I did that, you wouldn't come by on Mondays."

Larry smiled. "I'd find another reason. There's always math. Or Doctor Who."

"I am not having a Doctor Who discussion with you right now, Larry."

"But I noticed the most interesting parallels betw-"

"Larry."

"Yes?"

"Citric acid."

"Of course." Larry stroked the inside of Charlie's arm and listened to his breathing clear. "Post a sign," he said after a few minutes of quiet.

"Hmmm?" Charlie didn't bother to open his eyes.

"Post a sign. 'No perfume'."

"Won't work. They'll come in wearing the stuff anyway."

"Perhaps a grade incentive. For every week you don't have an allergy fit, the whole class gets two extra points."

Charlie opened his eyes at that and raised his eyebrows at Larry. "You're suggesting I bribe my students to keep my allergies at bay?"

"Yes." Larry squinted at Charlie's eyebrows. "Or perhaps not."

"Perhaps not."

Larry leaned against Charlie's legs and took the water from his hand. "You're starting to fall asleep."

"Maybe." Charlie wrinkled his nose as a sneeze built and died without an actual sneeze occurring. "This stuff always makes me sleepy."

"So, that's why you don't take it before class. My presence or lack thereof really has nothing to do with it."

"You know that's not true."

Larry smiled again and watched Charlie wrap his hand around Larry's wrist. "I know, but we still need a better system than this."

"Why?"

Larry watched Charlie drift off into a nap and didn't bother to argue for the better system. The one they had seemed to work just fine.

end