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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-04
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Hell Or High Water

Summary:

Fandom: MASH
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hawkeye/Trapper
Summary: Response to the Gonna Make You Love Me Challenge
A/N: Feed back is really good. Really, really good. Would love to hear some responses from other posters.

Work Text:

Hell Or High Water
by Littlexpinch

Come hell or high water, I'm gonna make you love me. I spend every waking moment with you; you are my best friend. I have no idea when these feelings started; no idea when I started craving the taste of you; no idea when you became the first and last thing I would think about every day.

Officer's Club tonight. Real booze, real music and real company. Sounds like it should be a good night, but it won't be. You will hook up with a nurse and I will too. You'll give her you gorgeous, lopsided smile, let her run her fingers through your curls. It'll hurt. It always does a deep ache in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it'll be different tonight. Maybe...maybe...I know. I actually have a plan. An ill-conceived, stupid and desperate plan, but still a plan.

***

We go in dress uniform. They say a change is as good as holiday. It may be a load of bull but it provides a small, if somewhat false, hope. We don't see much of each other for the first hour or so. It's better that way. It means I have a hope of pulling this off (or failing to, whichever comes first) without completely destroying the most important friendship in my entire life.

When we finally catch up, I smile a slightly drunken smile and look you over. You blush a little but put it down to alcohol. "Hey soldier, you come here often?" I slur slightly.

You grin, a little shocked. "Yeah. How 'bout you?"

"If you're here more, I'll start coming more." Time for shameless flirtation. You relax a little. "Dance with me."

Still smiling you hold out your hand. "With you? Anytime."

We are not the only guys dancing together. It appears it is time for a shipment of nurses. I rest my head on your shoulder and give a small sigh. It feels so damn right.

"You right Hawk?"

"More than you know."

You look a little confused, and gently thumb a lock of hair out of my eyes. I shiver slightly at your touch. I hope you didn't notice...I don't think you did, you haven't reacted.

"Let's sit down," I whisper.

"Sure, why not." We sit together. "Buy you a drink?"

"Sure, why not," I echo. You come back with to martinis. "You're handsome, you know that?"

"I've been told."

"Not often enough I'll bet." I take a sip of my drink. Now is the time for the big play, the one that will make or break me. "So...trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me later?"

"How drunk are you Hawk?"

"Plenty drunk enough for what you have in mind."

"I think it is time to take you home."

"I get it."

"Can you walk? Do you need to lean on me?"

"I think I definitely need to lean on you."

We make the slow journey back to the Swamp. You have to lift me up to put me into my cot. When you do lay me down I wrap my arms your neck and pull your face down to meet mine. "Steady on Hawk."

"Mmm, don't want to."

"Come on, this isn't funny."

"It's not supposed to be."

Confusion dances on your face, but there is no horror, disgust or even fear. "What's up Hawkeye?"

"I think I love you."

"Um, okay."

"No, I mean it." I pull you down a little closer, a littler closer, plant a soft kiss on your lips. It is a surprising feeling. After kissing girls smooth, soft, glossed lips for so long, you slightly chapped ones are completely different.

"Wow. Hawk...wow. I don't know. I'm married, I have kids. I love my wife...."

"...And you don't love me?"

"No, I never said that. Don't know if I love you in that way though."

"Oh." Even in my own ears, my voice sounds hollow.

"Is this just a drunken thing Hawk? If it is, I swear to God I will hate you forever."

"Well, I may have let you believe I was a little more drunk than I actually am."

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Just the one you bought me."

"So you manipulated me?" You sound almost angry, almost sad, and almost gone.

"I didn't think you would even look at me otherwise."

You sigh. "Hawk, I think I could love you. I think I might love you. I think--"

You are cut off by the kiss I place on your lips. You resist for a moment but almost instantly give in. The kiss deepens. There is no going back, no going forward. Now is the forever I have been dreaming of.

We draw apart and you look at me, searching my eyes for something. "Hawk..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't've done that."

Your eyes soften. "Yeah you should have. I do love you Hawk. I love my wife, I love my kids, and I love you too."

I smile. As it turns out I didn't need to make you love me, you already did.

 

END