Work Text:
Title: The Science of Wisconsin Boys
Author: Perpetual Motion
Fandom: Crossing Jordan
Pairing: Woody/Bug
Spoilers: Set after "All the News that's Fit to Print".
Summary: Woody explains his people to Bug.
Archive: My site, my lj, WWOMB, RS, anyone else, please ask.
The Science of Wisconsin Boys
By Perpetual Motion
They stood by Woody's car for a few minutes, not saying anything as they watched their breath mist and watched the reunion inside the cafe. Woody glanced at Bug, and jerked his head towards his car. "Wanna grab a beer?"
"Sure." Bug walked around to the passenger side of the car and waited for Woody to unlock the door. He got in and didn't offer any suggestions as Woody started up the car and pulled out of the parking spot. He did lean over and crank up the heat.
Woody drove them to the first non-threatening bar he could find. He took his badge off before they stepped out of the car, and went to work on his belt as soon as he was standing.
"I thought we had this talk about sexual harrassment."
"It's only sexual harrassment if it's an unwanted advance." Woody grinned at him, glad to see Bug grin in return. He slid his belt far enough out to get his gun off, handed the gun to Bug, and put his belt back on. "Thanks." He stashed the gun under his seat and followed Bug into the bar.
It was a large bar with a sense of annoymity. They ordered their beers at the bar proper and silently moved to the most secluded table in the back. Once they were settled, Woody took a drink of his beer for courage and looked Bug straight in the eye. "I'm sorry."
One very unimpressed eyebrow rose up. "Do you even know why?"
"For asking stupid questions and comparing you to Nigel."
"And?"
Woody shook his head. "And, what?"
"And for trying to get out of the whole thing by stripping to the waist in your office."
"I didn't do it because of that!"
"Uh-huh."
Woody attempted to look indignant. "I needed a fresh shirt."
"So did I."
"You could have changed right there."
"Because that would have been productive." Bug took a long drink of his beer. "Of course, if Nigel had been in the room, I'm sure he would have stripped off his shirt and kept going."
"Stop it."
"Why? I wasn't the one who kept bringing him up and wondering where he was."
"I-" Woody cut himself off before he could say something stupid. He watched Bug stare into his beer and wished he'd kept his mouth shut over the last two days. "You're a hard science guy. If I need the facts as straight as they come, I can go to you, and you'll have them, and you'll have a way to explain them so that it makes sense to me. If I need something that requires a lot of technical mojo, I go to Nigel because he's just the most experienced out of anyone there."
"In more ways than merely technical."
"I don't want to sleep with Nigel." A group of women three tables away turned and stared at Woody. "And I think I said that a little to loud."
"If they come over to beat us up, I'll throw you in front of me."
"Bug," Woody sighed when he didn't look up and leaned across the small table. He hooked his foot in the rung of Bug's chair so that he couldn't get away. "Listen to me very carefully when I say this for the hundred and forty-seventh time: I. Do. *Not*. Want. To. Sleep. With. Nigel. I never have. I never will. I brought him up in conversation because it was *relevant*. If you'll notice, I don't bring him up otherwise. I have no romantic interest in him."
The unimpressed eyebrow rose again. "No 'romantic interest'?"
"He's interesting in a crazy cousin some of way. I'm usually interested in seeing what weird thing he's going to do next." Woody could see that Bug didn't buy it. He muttered a few obscenitites inside his head and tried again. "I'm from Wisconsin, Mahesh, after high school and cheerleaders, my people don't sleep around." The unimpressed eyebrow lowered just slightly, and Woody could see the beginnings of a grin on Bug's face. Woody pressed his luck. "Of course, there is a tiny percentage of my people who never settle, but they really belong in a different scientific set-up entirely."
"Are you saying you've settled?"
Woody rethought his last couple of sentences and realized just had bad it could sound to the right ears listening the wrong way. "Not even close. Look, even if I were interested in Nigel-and let me establish again, just for the record, that I'm *not*, nor will I ever be-it wouldn't matter, because I'm interested in you, and you're interested in me, and as long as it stays a mutual kind of interested, I'm sticking around. Okay?"
Bug took a long swallow of his beer. "I think I can live with that."
"You know, a little enthusiasm never hurt anyone."
"I like this relationship. I like you. That's all you're getting out of me in a bar."
Woody pulled out his wallet, dropped a ten on the table, and stood up. "Let's get out of here, then."
end