Work Text:
The Virgin
"Nicky, baby, are you sure? You don't have to do this if you're not ready." Gil's soft voice said in his ear.
Swallowing hard, Nick's tongue darted out to wet his lower lip and he choked out from between tightly pinched lips and a throat gone dry, "Yes, I'm sure; I can do this."
'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this'. He repeated the mantra in his head as if the very act of thinking the words could make it so.
But if he was honest with himself he was scared. No, he was more than scared; he was terrified.
This was such a big thing between them that he had to go through with it. He couldn't let Gil down; not again.
He could still remember the look of disappointment in Gil's eyes the last time. It had been hastily hidden and quickly replaced by a look of love, but Nick had seen it all the same. He never wanted to see it again. He had tried, he really had but when the moment had come he had lost his nerve.
What was wrong with him anyway? He was a thirty eight year old man, he was a CSI Level Three, he'd been a cop for God's sake! In his time on the force and as a CSI he'd been subjected to horrors that would have destroyed a lesser man and yet here he was blanching at the thought of.... Well, best not to think of it right now.
It was better if he just closed his eyes and tried to hang on for the ride.
He knew that Gil would take care of him.
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Seeing the tension in his lover's jaw and the rigid stance of his body, Gil began to feel more than a little guilty.
'He's not ready for this,' he thought, 'but I can't wait any longer.'
The need to share this passion with Nick, this desire was just too strong to be denied anymore.
They had tried in the past but Nick had been unable to go through with it. At the last moment he had always turned pleading, sorrowful eyes on Gil and whispered his apologies.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't... I just can't." and Gil had taken him into his arms whispering word of comfort and love.
But now today, it looked as if his fantasy would finally come true. Taking Nick's trembling hand in his own Gil lifted it to his lips and whispered.
"It will be okay Nicky; I promise it will be good."
Now after the deed was done Gil wasn't so sure that he had done the right thing.
Nick was white faced and trembling all over. His dark eyes were huge in his expressionless face and he hadn't spoken a word since they began.
Worried now, Gil reached for Nick's face and turned it toward him.
"Nicky, sweetheart, can you hear me? Can you talk to me? Please baby, can you say something? You're scaring me."
Slowly the focus began to return to his lover's eyes and Gil let out a breath than he hadn't even been aware of holding.
Nick's lips parted as if to speak and Gil leaned in.
"What is it Nicky, what do you want say?"
"That was... that was, fantastic!" Nick cried out, a huge grin now spreading rapidly across his face. "God, I don't know why I was so scared. That was amazing."
"Can we do it again, can we, can we?" he was almost begging now, bouncing in his seat.
Smiling, a grin splitting his own face Gil signalled the man who ran the coaster to go again.