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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-04
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Second Chances

Summary:

Tony knew Gibbs would be back. There's one event he'd never miss. SPOILERS FOR HIATUS
Submitted through the NavyNCISslash2 mailing list.

Work Text:

Authors Notes: Special thanks to KSL for helping to bring this story to life. It never would have made it off the drawing board without her.

Tony turned around at the sound of someone moving down the hallway. He nodded to himself, pleased that he'd completed the finishing touches to the Marine Corps Dress Blues. Shoes shined to a polish high enough to see his reflection. Creases crisp and clean. No loose threads or snags. Perfect. He turned toward the door and waited. Tony unconsciously squared his shoulders, bracing himself.

"What are you doing in my house, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, his voice and tone only a shadow of its former self.

"I figured you were coming back today, boss. You've never missed a Memorial Day Ceremony at Arlington," Tony admitted with an offhand shrug of his shoulders. "I wanted to be sure your fridge was stocked and your uniform ready to go for tomorrow."

Jethro stepped into his bedroom, wearily dropping his duffle bag by the closet. "I'm too damned tired to play games."

Tony refrained from pointing out he wasn't playing any games. He gave his boss a quick appraisal. It was barely been two weeks since Gibbs walked out of the bullpen at NCIS. For such a short hiatus, Gibbs looked more the worse for the wear. Even though Gibbs' skin was tanned bronze, Tony could see a paleness there. Dark circles under the normally expressive eyes spoke loudly of too little sleep. The ruddy complexion was a tell tale sign of too much alcohol. Gibbs had lost a good ten to fifteen pounds.

"Just watching your six, as always," Tony told him when it became apparent something had to be said. "There are a couple of steaks in the fridge. If you're not that hungry, there's some stuff for sandwiches too. Fresh bread on the counter. From the smell of things, you've already turned on the coffee pot. There's milk and juice in the fridge too. I'll be back by 0600 in the morning to pick you up. I promised Colonel Ryan we'd pick him up at the hospital by 0630 so we can be at Arlington by 0700. He has a day pass but we have to have him back by 1500."

Gibbs sank tiredly to the edge of the bed, nearly missing the mattress. Slumped over, he rested his head in his hands. "What if I can't remember them?" he asks, his voice raw with emotion as his fingers tangled in the closely cropped gray strands. "How could I forget something so damned important?"

Tony moved to kneel in front of his boss. "I've made a list of the men you lost who are at Arlington," he assured him. It really hadn't taken that long to pull together; a few phone calls, a favor or two. "You have all the time you need tomorrow. While you may not remember the specifics, I know you remember the sacrifice. That's how you honor them."

"I'm not sure I can do this alone," Gibbs admitted, still unable to raise his head to look at Tony.

"You don't have to, boss," Tony promised. He never had to, but Gibbs wasn't always quick to realize the obvious when it came to personal things. "I'll be there. Like I said, I've got your six."

Suddenly overwhelmed by the entire situation, Gibbs yawned hugely. "I'm so tired of this. So tired of not knowing. So tired of hurting. So tired..."

Tony pushed himself to his feet. "Let's get you to bed," he said softly. "Morning will come soon enough. You need to be rested to deal with it." He moved toward the head of the bed to pull the covers down.

Gibbs pushed himself to his feet. "Don't bother with the bed," he said, voice rough. He shook his head, looking everywhere except at his bed. "I'll just have nightmares the minute I doze off."

Tony continued to pull down the covers. "No nightmares tonight," he said sternly, a promise. "You told a kid on a case once that if you tell yourself you won't have nightmares then you won't. So, no nightmares for you tonight."

"I don't know if you are smart or a smart ass," Gibbs admitted with a smile lurking about his lips.

Tony gave Gibbs one of his most brilliant smiles. "Hey, I learned it all from you."

Gibbs chuckled softly. "Smart ass."

Tony simply shrugged his shoulders as he watched Gibbs. The sudden lack of tension in the other man's body caught him totally off-guard. When Gibbs began to slump toward the floor, Tony caught him in his arms. Leading Gibbs to the side of the bed, he sat the other man down carefully.

"Easy, Boss." Tony whispered. "I got you."

"Don't want to be alone," Gibbs mumbled, more than halfway asleep already.

"I'll be here, boss," Tony promised, keeping his voice low as he pulled the covers over the sleeping Marine. "I'll always be here."

Following the Memorial Day Services at Arlington National Cemetery, they headed for a bar. Gibbs wasn't sure what the hell he was doing here, but it felt right. So there they were. Eventually, he figured out he'd been here before. The last time being just before Colonel Ryan had been hospitalized.

"What's with the kid?" Colonel Will Ryan asked as Tony made his way to the bar to order their drinks.

Gibbs leaned forward on the table. "I'll be damned if I know, sir," he admitted quietly, feeling the need to confide in someone. "My past is still like so much Swiss cheese but the one constant that remains unchanging is DiNozzo. I know he's only been on my team a few years but still, I can't seem.. can't.. Hell, I don't know."

"The kid came to see me when you went UA, Gunny." Colonel Ryan watched as Gibbs head snapped up at his words. "Don't tell me you didn't go UA. What else would you call it?"

"A monumental act of stupidity?" Gibbs asked, his tone very contrite, a flush warming his cheeks. "I thought.. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Franks had done it. He was the only concrete thing I could link to from my past. I thought I could trust him."

"Mike Franks is a cowardly, alcoholic son of a bitch," Ryan stated bluntly. "Never did care for the man. Always suspected he might be dirty."

"I pretty much realized that when I was in Baja," Gibbs admitted ruefully, ashamed he hadn't seen it before. "I know I learned a lot from him, both good and bad. I think I learned to be a bastard from him."

"You changed under his influence," Ryan sighed, shaking his head. "We thought was because of losing Shannon and Kelly. Hell that would be enough to harden anyone's heart. But I think it was more his dark influence than anything else. I see a lot of you in the kid." Ryan smiled, eyes watching Tony as he leaned against the bar talking to the bartender. "See a lot of you in him too."

"God, I hope I didn't screw him up as badly as Franks screwed me up," Gibbs sighed, his tone regretful as memories rose unbidden. Head slaps, 'Probie' comments, derogatory remarks. Tony had taken it all...with better grace than Gibbs had.

"Straighten me up, hell yeah," Tony said as he places two draft beers and one Ginger Ale on the table. "I was already screwed up when you got me, boss." He said the last with an easy, unassuming smile.

Feeling unusually embarrassed, Gibbs stammers for an explanation. He hadn't meant for Tony to hear that.

"Don't sweat it, boss," Tony said with a grin. "Now, you two have two hours before we have to leave to get the Colonel back before curfew. Nurse Rachett will have all our asses if he comes back late or drunk so make those beers last. I'm gonna go sit in that nice dark corner and chill for a while. Why don't you two go hustle some poor civilians out of a couple weeks pay at the pool table?"

Gibbs reached to snag Tony's Ginger Ale. "I've had enough beer to last me a lifetime," he said, suddenly not interested in drinking anything even remotely alcoholic. "Come on, sir. Let's see if I still remember how to beat your ass at pool."

Nearly two hours later, they were putting the finishing touches on their last game. "So Gunny, I'm gonna ask again. What's with the kid?"

Gibbs eyes drifted over to where Tony appeared to be dozing in the corner. Gibbs realized that nothing was ever what it appeared on the surface with DiNozzo. "I can't explain it. Everything I remember, everything I do seems tied to him some how. It's almost as if..."

"As if?" Ryan asked, coming to lean on the side of the pool table near Gibbs.

"I feel Shannon here, right under the emblems," Gibbs said, tapping his chest. "But it is as if Tony is right there beside her. I can't explain it."

"Who says it needs to be explained?" Ryan said, shrugging his shoulders. "Did you see him today at Arlington? When we went from site to site, he was right there beside you. He gave you intel on each fallen soldier, showing the respect they deserved. When you couldn't remember a family member, he was there, prompting you before you could even realize it, before they could realize it. He's a part of you, Jethro."

"I don't think I ever told him what he means to me," Gibbs admitted with regret.

"Well, it's not too late, you dumb ass." Ryan pointed out bluntly. "You've got your second chance. Tell him." Ryan said with a smile and a none too gentle nudge. "You deserve a chance to be happy, Gunny. I think he's the one."

Gibbs scoffed. "So, what are you suggesting? That I just turn around and say, hey DiNozzo, I love you."

"Works for me," Tony said from directly behind Gibbs.

Gibbs turned around and in that moment, everything fell into place. He might not remember what happened two years ago or ten but he knows that his future is irrevocably tied to the man in front of him. "I love you, Tony."