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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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966
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1/1
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7
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889

Visit

Summary:

Reid visits his mother again. This is, amazingly, a gen piece from me.

Work Text:

Visit
by Stacy L.A. Stronach

Six months, almost to the day, since the last time he was here, Spencer stands in the doorway of the dayroom at the Bennington Sanitarium watching his mother write in her journal. He can't help but flashback to a day very similar to this, almost 15 years ago.

He's ten years old, standing in almost the same spot. His maternal grandmother, Sarah Spencer, is with him. "Come see your mother, Spencer," she says.

Spencer doesn't want to. That woman sitting over there just looks like his mother, it's not really her. Someone has done something with his mother, hidden her somewhere and replaced her with this inferior copy. Even though he knows this cannot be true it feels like the truth. He drags his feet, walking behind his grandmother.

He watches as his grandma leans down, kissing her daughter on her head. "Hey, DeeDee, we're here to visit. I brought Spencer with me."

Diana Reid turns her head and the vacant gaze that meet Spencer's sends a shiver of fear through him. He can't do it. She is NOT his mother. He turns and runs out of the room. He can't help it.

A few minutes later, Sarah comes out and finds him sitting on the floor in the corner. He looks up at her, tears running down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Grandma, I can'tâ€""

She sits beside him and pulls him into her lap. "Oh, it's okay, sweetie. I probably shouldn't have brought you just yet. I was just hoping seeing you might help your mother," she kisses his cheek. "Now, stop the tears and we'll go home."

Sarah passed away just after Spencer joined the FBI...now he is the one who has to look after his mother and sometimes...it still scares him to see her.

"She's having a really good day today, Dr. Reid," Dr. Jesson says. "Quite lucid. I hope you'll be able to visit it with her."

"Thanks, Dr. Jesson," Reid says. "I...will." He stares at his mother for a few more moments and then walks over, kneeling beside her chair.

Diana Reid turns and looks at her son, staring at him. "Spencer? Is it really you?"

He smiles. "Yeah, Mom, it's really me, I'm sorryâ€""

She pulls him into a tight hug. "Oh, don't apologise. I'm just so happy you're here!"

Gingerly, he wraps his arms around her, returning her embrace. This is always so painful for him, it's why he always needs at least one or two days to actually get to the point of speaking to his mother. "I'm glad...glad to be here."

"So, pull up a chair, sit down...tell me about your latest adventures, Spencer."

Spencer pulls a chair over and does as his mother asks. Of course, he has to edit things heavily for his mother's consumption. There are certain things he cannot tell her and others that he won't. He's never told her about killing Dowd. He never will.

The afternoon speeds by quickly, much to Spencer's surprise. The nurse comes over. "Dr. Reid, it's dinner time. You're more than welcome to eat with your mother," she says.

Spencer looks at his mother and sees the light of hope in her eyes. "Yeah, I'll stay," he says even though he's not really hungry.

"Thank you, Spencer," his mother says and he's almost ashamed at the gratitude he sees on her face.

Supper is simple but good; roast chicken with rice or potatoes and mixed vegetables. There's cake or pie for dessert. He has the chocolate cake. After they finish eating he goes back to his mother's room with her. As they're walking and talking he can tell she's starting to slip away. By the time they get to her room, Spencer can tell she's having auditory hallucinations.

"Mom, I should go now, you need to rest," Spencer says. He helps her get into her bed and pulls the covers up.

"I'll miss you, Spencer," Diana says, in a brief moment of lucidity. "I love you, you know that don't you? It's important that you know that."

Spencer smiles before leaning over to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I know. I love you, too, Mom. I'll see you tomorrow." By the time he's finished talking, she's focused inward again and isn't even aware when he leaves the room. He's here for another week and Spencer plans to come see his mother everyday; he wants to get past his fears. This may work or it may not, only time will tell.

He walks slowly down the hallway, nodding goodbye to the nurse on the main desk. People still have the misconception that schizophrenia is a "split personality" it isn't. Yet...his mother seems to be two different people...maybe even more. He sometimes seems to be two people...or more. Rarely, he's the good son who visits with his sick mother...but most of the time he's the selfish, scared son who doesn't come home to Vegas often enough to visit his sick mother. Selfish because he stays away, scared because he doesn't want to end up like her...and he's scared that he'll never see his mother again.

Walking out into the fading sun of a Nevada evening, Spencer speculates that perhaps, just perhaps, we all have more than one person living inside of us. And he's not sure if that thought comforts him or worries him....

~~**the end**~~