Work Text:
Hurt and Need
by Jania93
"I don't need you Alan. I don't need anybody," I told him, but at the same time I knew it wasn't true. I need Alan Shore more than I could ever say. But saying something like that out loud would ruin the Denny Crane image that I have spent years trying to build.
What was about this particular cocksure young lawyer that had me thinking things could be different, that I Denny Crane could be loved for myself and not just my money. Maybe it was his eyes, so hard and yet soft when he pursued a case that mattered to him.
Or maybe it was the fact that Alan was just as screwed up as I was, what with his night terrors and fear of clowns and the other shit he deals with on a daily basis. It makes me feel sane compared to him sometimes.
No matter what the reason is, I love and need Alan Shore so much I think I would have gone crazy just like Edwin Poole if he hadn't come into my life when he did. And is why I hurt him every chance I get, because if Alan knew how much I loved him, Denny Crane would never hear the end of it.
But I need you Alan, so godamm much that when I hurt you I hurt myself even more. And if you ever left me I would die of a broken heart. That's why need and hurt go hand in hand.