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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
1,055
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
5
Hits:
1,354

Elvis say Yee-ha!

Summary:

Fandom: Xena
Status: Finished
Disclaimer: I did not create and do not own the recognizable media characters herein. I seek no, make no, and refuse all profit from this.
It is a work of fiction, relating in no manner toward the people who portrayed these character. (I love 'em. Thanks, guys).
Feedback: Please.
Notes: This is a prime example of writing as therapy. I had to have my Miss Inga (14 yr. old sweetest weenie dog in history) put down. I'm writing this for no other reason than to make myself feel better. Suffer or enjoy, as the case may be.
More notes: Inspired by this video sent to me by Wylwaryn Lyrics from A Little Less Conversation (and a Little More Action) by Elvis Presley.
Submitted through the Makebelieve_Squidge and Makebelieve_YG mailing lists.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Elvis say 'Yee-ha!'
by Scribe

*Jett comes into Scribe's cottage.* *The Goddess of Erotica and Cats is raptly watching a scrying mirror*

Scribe: "Whoa. No, gee-up. Ride 'em, cowboy."

Jett: "What's up?"

Scribe: *Eep!* *Hides mirror* "Nothing, babe. I, uh, thought you were going to be doing reconisance work this afternoon for you next job."

Jett: *shrugs* "I got there and the idiot was having a roll in the hay with a serving wench. He'd sent his guards for a drink, since he isn't an exhibitionist. He should have considered learning a new kink. I've added another weapon to my list of tools--pitchfork."

Scribe: "Squick. Remind me to call you Jason sometimes."

Jett: "And you're being evasive. What were you watching?"

Scribe: *tries to be casual about stuffing mirror farther under cushion.* "Just some athletics exhibition from the future."

Jett: *eyes narrow* "Watching athletes, huh? Let me have a look."

Scribe: "You're a guy--you wouldn't be interested."

Jett: "I'm a guys, so I wouldn't be interested in an athletic exhibition? Is it just me, or is that logic a bit skewed?"

Scribe: "I mean that it isn't a team sport." *gives him suddenly seductive smile and holds out her arms* "Come give me some sugar."

Jett: "You're being devious and distracting--and I like it." *goes to sit with Scribe* *smooch and grope session proceeds* *It's getting pretty warm* *GRAB* "Ah-hah!"

Scribe: "YOU GIVE ME THAT!" *tries to take back mirror*

Jett: *holds mirror away from her* "Not a chance. Not till I find out what had you so fascinated."

*watches mirror*

Elvis: *sings* "A little less conversation and a little more action please. All this aggravation ain't satisfactionin' me. A little more bite and a little less bark. A little less fight and a little more spark. Close your mouth and open up your heart, and baby satisfy me..."

Scribe: "See? It's just ice skaters." *Jett stares* "You can't possibly feel threatened by ice skaters." *Jett stares some more*

Elvis: *sings* "Come on baby, I'm tired of talking. Grab your coat and let's start walking. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on..."

Jett: *snarls* "I'd say the invitation was pretty clear."

Scribe: "No. Look, they're cowboys. You know how much I love you in your cowboy gear, right? Heck, I'm not even attracted to them. They're just a substitute for YOU." *Jett stares again* "Um, right. I wouldn't buy that either."

Jett: *stands up* "Excuse me, babe. I have things to do." *stalks toward door*

Scribe: "Jett, wait! Don't go fly off the handle and..." *SLAM* "Crap. I'll learn some day." *pause* "Nah." *sigh* "Great. Jealous King of the Assassins. Impetua must be flying barrel rolls right about now."

*In Zeus' Study*

Zeus: "All right, Jett. WHY do you want permission to go to the Halls of Time."

Jett: "I have some business to transact." *eyes shift*

Zeus: *studies him* *sighs* "What future men has Scribe been watching now?"

Jett: "No, really. I just want to attend an ice skating exhibition. We don't have those now, you know."

Zeus: *eyes him* "Sounds innocent enough." *pause* "That's what worries me. No."

*In The Temple of Love*

Strife: "Jett, ol' boy, wassup?"

Jett: "I need you to help me sneak into the Halls of Time. Think of all the mischief it would cause."

Strife: "Ooo. Temptin. Lemme guess--Scribe's been droolin ovah future men again."

Jett: "How do you know that?"

Strife: "Impetua had a hyperactivity attack a little while ago. Cupe is even now tryin ta get her down off tha ceilin. Sorry, bro. Can't help ya."

Jett: "But they were tempting my woman! I have to do something. Just help me get to the Halls of Time and you can leave it at that--deny knowledge."

Strife: "Sorry, no can do. I'd really get my butt in a crack aftah that near miss with tha guy who was on that tv show. What's his name? Ted... Ram? Rain? Somethin like that. Damn, man. Ya shoulda been complimented. He's almost a dead ringer fah you, an' all Scribe did was say that she'd like tha chance ta measure him fah a suit of armor that would fit."

Jett: "Rats. Is it possible to die of frustrated jealousy?"

Strife: "If it is, Unc Hades is gonna have a lot of dealings with Imp in tha future. All right, ya need some way ta fight this. Lemme make a suggestion..."

*Later*

Hephastus: *calling* "Dite? You are not going to BELIEVE what Jett just asked me to make for him." *Heph describes it to Dite* "I haven't a clue as to why he'd want those."

Aphrodite: *giggles* "I do. Scribe showed me this mirror..."

Hephastus: "Oh, Zeus. She let Jett catch her looking at future guys again."

*Later still*

*Ares enters his temple and flops on a couch beside Joxer*

Ares: "I am SO tired."

Joxer: *kisses him* "Hard day at the office, Sugarbuns?"

Ares: "Weird. Okay, actually the weirdness was limited to one incident, but it was SO weird that it colored the whole day."

Joxer: "Yeah? Do tell."

Ares: "First off, you know that little pond over near the edge of Olympus? Well, it's frozen over."

Joxer: "Considering the fact that it's always summer up here, that qualifies. What else?"

Ares: "As I went past it, I heard a string of obscenities that would have curled my hair if it wasn't already wavy."

Joxer: "Strife?"

Ares: "No, it was your brother--the dark and dangerous one. He was... How do I put this? He was sliding around on the ice with what looked like a couple of blades strapped to his feet."

Joxer: "And he was swearing?"

Ares: "He was when he fell down. During the time I watched I think his ass was on the ice more than his feet."

Joxer: "That's not weird. As far as I know Jett's never done that sort of thing before, and I imagine it would take a little practise."

Ares: "You know that outfit he got just after Scribe became a goddess, specifically to try to seduce her? Well, he was wearing it."

Joxer: "Let me get this straight: Jett was ice skating, dressed as a cowboy?"

Ares: "Yeah."

Joxer: *slaps his forehead* "Scribe's been ogling future guys again."

The end

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Scribe.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.