Work Text:
Looking
by Caroline Corken
It's weird you know? He's been doing it for so long now, looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking back that I've gotten used to it. Maybe complacent even? I mean, not that it matters of course, because I love Whitney.
And I do. Love Whitney that is. I really really do.
We're so perfect together. He's the Captain of the football team and he's nice and kind and he makes me feel safe. And to be honest? A girl likes to feel safe in this town.
Clark on the other hand.I don't know. I like him a lot. In fact, sometimes, I wonder why it took me so long to notice him. It's probably because one year he's this quiet shy little kid who tries not to get himself seen, falling over himself a lot and generally earning a reputation as a bit of a nobody and the next thing I know he's taller than he really should be and making his presence actually felt around here a little more.
And since I'm being honest, I like catching him looking at me. Not that I'd ever do anything about it. Least of all now.
Because now, he's not looking at me anymore. Ok, he looks, but he's not trying to see *me* anymore. Which is kinda why I liked him looking at me in the first place.
Whitney looks and he sees what everyone is meant to see. The cheeriest, peppiest cheerleader in the whole damn school, or ex-cheerleader now I suppose; as well as one of the most popular girls in school and it's right that I should be with him. Like I'm the Barbie doll so of course, Whitney is the fabulous accessory every little girl must have.
When Clark looks at me.he just *looks* and it's like he can't see all that stuff. It's almost like he has a pair of those silly X-Ray glasses you send off for on the back of cereal boxes. He sees more than he should and I like how he reacts to that. It lets me be who I really am without all the complications of being who I'm supposed to be.
Tonight though, at the Talon, *I* saw something. I saw that he didn't look at me that way. Maybe I would have noticed it sooner if I'd been paying attention to him, but I'd been kinda wrapped up in getting this place open. Or at least, that's what I tell myself. The alternative is I'm more selfish and self-centred than I would like to think I am and I know that's not right. Right?
I still have the photograph Clark gave me in my hand and really, it's beautiful and kind and it's just what I'm coming to expect from Clark. It'll look amazing up behind the counter and as I'm standing listening to Whitney, I turn round to take a peek at Clark, sure and safe in the knowledge that he'll be looking at me the way I need him to.
But he's not. He's not looking at me at all. He's standing with Lex and he's *looking* at him. Looking at him in a way I've never seen Clark look at me before. Everything's there's with the added attraction of hope and success in his smile.
And when I turn to look at Lex, I get the sense that he *knows* what a gift he's being given when Clark looks at him that way. Like he sees it for what it is and offers him the same look in return.
Clark and Lex?
A chill runs through me, almost as if a cold dead hand touches me on the shoulder and I can't turn round because I'm afraid of what I might see.
But I don't need to turn around. I can see it already. He's not looking at me any more.
The End