SquidgeWorld Archive

Kirk looked up when Spock took his customary place at the chess set, indicating without words that he'd like to have a match. Kirk sighed. It wasn't that he didn't want to play with Spock. He loved their games because they gave such insight into the Vulcan's mind. It was that lately he was having trouble keeping his mind on the game. Instead of watching the moves, he was watching Spock, watching the ever-alert eyes dart back-and- forth, trying to decipher Kirk's strategy for whatever game they were playing.

God, he is so beautiful. So lithe, strong, and swift. Like a cat. So independent, yet so strangely vulnerable--stop thinking about that! Kirk firmly commanded himself as he took his own place at the game. So what if you've fallen in love with him? What makes you think that he can return those feelings? He sighed again and focused his attention on the game, not the urges of his heart.

Several games later, Spock looked up. "Jim, is something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned.

Kirk looked up, startled. "No, Spock. What makes you think that?" he asked, nervously, wondering how much emotion he was broadcasting.

Spock raised an eyebrow and steepled his fingers in front of him. "It is most unusual for you to be this distracted. I have just won my third consecutive game. With other partners, that is not unusual; but with you, it is."

Kirk swallowed, mentally cursing his friend's keen insight. It was true. Kirk hadn't payed attention at all to the games. Spock leaned across the board, seeming oblivious to his friend's discomfort.

"Jim, I wish to help you in any way that I can. My friend, let me help."

Kirk stared into Spock's obsidian eyes, eyes that had once seemed distant and cold, but were now warm with concern and undying loyalty. "It's.......hard to..speak of, Spock," he stammered, trying to find the courage to say, I'm screwing up because I'm in love with you, but I don't know how to tell you.

Spock tilted his head. "Have I broken any taboos? If so, I apologize."

Kirk laughed a little. "No, you haven't. It's hard to speak of because it takes a tremendous amount of courage to even....acknowledge something like this. It's also hard to speak of because of fear......" he trailed off.

"Of what, Jim?" Spock asked quietly.

Here goes nothing. "Rejection."

Spock blinked, unsure as to whether he had heard correctly; but the expression on Kirk's face told him he had. A small flame of hope flickered to life in his heart; hope that he had long ago forsaken. He decided to make sure he wasn't mistaken. "Who would reject you," he asked.

Kirk sighed. "You," he said matter of factly.

Spock jerked back. "Why would I reject you?" he asked, feeling confused.

Kirk swallowed hard, praying that he wasn't about to lose his best friend. "Because I love you," he said, closing his eyes, afraid to see Spock's reaction.

Spock sat quite still for some minutes, then he leaned over and laid his too-warm hand on Kirk's shoulder. Kirk looked up, but they didn't say anything for a minute. "As you know, Jim, I have...trouble expressing myself."

Kirk nodded, fearing the worst. "I believe this song will suffice," Spock continued, tapping a command into the table's side panel. Kirk sat back and listened to the haunting song. The lovely melody filled the room and a soft baritone began singing.

I have never felt like this,
for once I'm lost for words,
your smile has really thrown me.

This is not like me at all,
I never thought I'd know
the kind of love you've shown me.

Now no matter where I am,
no matter what I do,
I see your face appearing like an unexpected song,
and unexpected song that only we are hearing.

I don't know what's going on,
can't work it out at all.
Whatever made you choose me?

I just can't believe my eyes,
you look at me as though
you couldn't bear to lose me.

Now no matter where I am.
no matter that I do,
I see your face appearing like an unexpected song,
like an unexpected song that only we are hearing.

I have never felt like this.
For once I'm lost for words,
your smile has really thrown me.

This is not like me at all,
I never thought I'd know
the kind of love you've shown me.

Now no matter where I am,
no matter what I do,
I see your face appearing like an unexpected song.
An unexpected song that only we are hearing.

An unexpected song that only we are hearing.

As the final bars died away, Kirk found himself with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. Spock treated him to his own special half-smile. The two of them wrapped each other up in their arms, not wanting to let go.

Spock reached down and tenderly raised Kirk's head. Their lips came together, hesitantly exploring one another. Their lips parted and their tongues slowly danced with each other.

Kirk finally broke the kiss. He gave Spock an amused look. "Like the old saying says, your place or mine?"

Spock raised an amused eyebrow in return. "Yours," he said. As they headed out into the corridor, he added, "It is sound-proofed."