Work Text:
Lilly doesn't bleed anymore when Veronica sees her. She'd thought she'd seen the end of Lilly's ghost when she caught the real killer, but she should have known better. Lilly didn't want to be forgotten, and so she never would be.
She couldn't stop seeing Lilly and Aaron Echolls together; it was wrong on every sort of possible level.
Veronica wanted Lilly to still be alive, but for different reasons now than she used to. She missed Lilly, of course, that would never go away. But she was finally able to let her best friend go, and rest, but somehow, Lilly didn't want to.
Or maybe Veronica didn't want Lilly to go.
She needed Lilly to be there, in a way, to remind her. Lilly had been cuckolding Logan with his own father; Lilly had betrayed Logan. And so had Veronica.
Maybe Veronica still wanted to see Lilly to remind her of how much she'd hurt the first person she'd *really* cared about since Duncan had broken her heart a year ago. Because she could only imagine how Logan was feeling right now, knowing that not only had his father fucked his girlfriend, but he'd killed her too, and then his current girlfriend had turned him into the cops because she didn't trust him enough to come to him and just *ask.*
Blinders on to anything that wasn't Lilly, Veronica could admit to herself now. Now that the blinders were gone, she could see how much devastation she'd caused in the lives of the people who loved her.
Lianne had almost derailed her father's romance with Alicia; her friendship with Wallace was on shaky enough ground, Duncan and Meg she couldn't even comprehend what their situation must have been like, and Logan. Logan, last but not least.
Out of everyone, she thought, Logan might have been hurt the most by her, and he was the one who deserved the most apology from her. Only, Veronica Mars didn't do apologies, had no idea how to go about them, and didn't even know if it would be accepted.
Instead, she just went through the days, through the motions on the outside as her brain worked on the inside, answering the questions that were asked of her, showering, sleeping, helping her father, hanging out with Wallace, taking Backup for walks on the beach.
Remembered the last confrontation she'd had with Logan and Backup on the beach, and started looking for new places to walk the dog.
And Lilly went with her. Sometimes Lilly talked to her, sometimes just walked beside her, sometimes even tried to pet Backup. But the one thing she wanted Lilly to say, she never did.
*Why don't you apologize to Logan?* or *What's up with you and my boyfriend, Veronica Mars?*
And she never asked Lilly what she wanted to know.
*Why did you sleep with Aaron? Was that your big secret? How did you feel about Weevil? Why wasn't Logan enough for you?*
Instead, they danced around the subject, talking about the boring things, Lilly complaining about Veronica's new haircut, until one day, Veronica had been so busy talking to Lilly that she hadn't noticed Lilly leading her back to the beach until she was already there, standing beside a bright yellow SUV.
Veronica looked around for Lilly, and found her peeking over Logan's shoulder as Logan stared at her, Lilly's arms waving her over frantically.
Backup seemed thrilled to see Logan, breaking out of Veronica's grip to go to him, wagging his tail and furiously licking Logan's hand. Veronica seemed unable to move as Backup ran, and stayed rooted in the sand as Logan picked up the leash and started bringing him back to her.
"Lost your dog, 'Ronnie," Logan said, holding the leash out to her. "You should be more careful. He could have gotten hurt."
Veronica knew exactly why that sounded like an accusation.
"Go on, Veronica," Lilly encouraged quietly, back over Veronica's shoulder and looking at Logan. "You know he loves you." Veronica could see Lilly cocking her head, examining Logan as he stood there, holding Backup's leash out.
"Yeah, I know," Veronica said, accepting the leash from Logan and answering both Logan and Lilly with the same sentence.
"So what are you waiting for, V?" Lilly tried to push Veronica forward, but couldn't make an impact. "He needs you, Veronica Mars. Just like I know you need him." A pause, her head staying cocked. "He's really not a bad guy. Just... very much not my speed. He's..."
"Boring?" Veronica asked softly, keeping her eyes on Logan's feet, ashamed and embarrassed.
"What?" Logan asked. "So sorry to bore you, Veronica. I'll get out of your hair." Logan let his hands fall to the side, and started to stalk away.
"No, not you. I'm just... talking to myself," Veronica called after him. "Don't go."
"Good for you!" Lilly cheered. "Now, tell him you're sorry." A little giggle. "Go on, go on. Don't worry about me, I'm totally okay with it. Long as you don't forget about me... I think he needs you more than I do." Lilly gave Veronica a pat to the shoulder that she couldn't feel, and turned away to start trudging through the sand.
"I loved Lilly too," Veronica said, when Logan stopped walking away. "I was just trying--"
"I know what you were trying to do, Veronica," Logan answered, still not turning around to look at her. "Got caught in the crossfire, thanks, and I really, really appreciate you letting me and the rest of the world know that my father was fucking my girlfriend in my bed. Information I just *couldn't* live without." His voice cracked as he started walking away again.
When Logan's voice cracked, Veronica bit her lip. "Sit, Backup, and stay." She dropped his leash as she went after Logan, kicking up a little sand as she ran over to him. "Logan, please wait."
He stopped again, hands in his pocket and head down, as he'd been walking away. Veronica stopped a step or two away from him, and when he turned around to look at her, she ran forward the last step and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she said into his shoulder, and then letting loose with a sob when his arms wrapped back around her. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I didn't mean--"
"You never do," Logan answered, tightening his arms around Veronica. He didn't say anything else, too cried out to cry on Veronica's shoulder like she was crying on his, just holding her and rubbing his fingers through her hair.
Lilly looked up at Backup, from her perch on the sand, peeking around his furry bulk to spy on Veronica and Logan. "Yeah... I did the right thing, didn't I, boy?" She tried to scratch Backup behind the ears, and the dog just barked once as Logan picked Veronica up and gave her a little twirl in the sand.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too."
The End