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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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190
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1/1
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Not What He Needs: Crusade

Summary:

Crusade; PG; Gideon/Galen
In an attempt to distract myself, and force myself to actually think on occasion, I have been giving myself little writing challenges. I pick a phrase, and force myself to write one paragraph from the point of view of a character trying to justify whatever the phrase is.
Most of these little exercises have been, um, well, lets just say that they will never see the light of day. But one day last week the phrase just seemed to work.
"I am not what he needs."
What follows are snippets I wrote in three fandoms; CSI, Smallville, and Crusade. They are short, and not great examples of the "craft". What they were was inspiring. The CSI bit is now five pages of handwritten notes - it may become a story, or it may join the other abandoned half written stories collecting virtual dust on my hard drive.
I invite anyone who wants to play with them to go ahead. I'd really like to see what comes from other fandoms. It could work in so many. I have a couple of others already in mind - I don't think that I will begin a "one paragraph at a time" series, but this may inspire other writers.
If anyone takes up the challenge, I offer to host the results on my long abandoned web site (www.geocities.com/marag.geo)
Hope you enjoy them, and I hope they inspire something.
Submitted through the Makebelieve_Squidge mailing list.

Work Text:

Not What He Needs: Crusade
By Marag

No one else calls him Matthew.

He introduces himself as Matt, so I never really pondered it. Yesterday I watched as a lover called him Matthew as he thrust inside her. He stopped what he was doing and corrected her.

"No," he told her. "Please, don't call me that - Matt, call me Matt."

I stopped spying on him after that. I wished for answers, I have them. Now I have to ask myself why I needed to know them in the first place.

I know that there has never been a male lover before or since. I know that he is a considerate and polite sexual partner.

I also know that he never stays longer than the act takes. He never leaves his woman unsatisfied. He leaves them sated and sleeping. But leave he does. And he leaves nothing of himself behind.

Not even his seed.

He climaxes alone, calling my name as he does. A prayer? A request? A plea? A curse?

I have answers. Perhaps the questions were wrong.

I am who he wants.

I am not what he needs.

end