SquidgeWorld Archive

Xander Harris was lying in his bed thinking about the events of the last week. Everything had been going fine. Well as fine as things could be with his friends ignoring him. He was with Anya and although he wasn't in love with her she was very special to him. She made him feel good and not just during the sex. Anyway all this changed when that little runt Jonathan created the alternate universe where he was everyone's hero. Anya along with everyone else in town practically worshipped the guy. The only difference was that Anya continued to drool over him even after the spell was broken. Xander still had no clue why she did. Hell everyone else saw Jonathan for the little worm that he was so why didn't Anya? Maybe she liked dwarves, Xander still wasn't sure. Anyway after everyone else stopped worshipping the guy Anya took a chance and asked Jonathan out. Did he accept? Hell yes he did. It's not like he could get any other woman. She even told everyone that they slept together on their first date. Xander really didn't care about that. He stopped caring for her the minute she asked the worm out. No, the thing that bothered him was everyone laughing and making fun of him. Sure they all tried to hide it, all but Spike that is. That actually gave Xander a little more respect for Spike. At least he was honest about what he was thinking. Everyone else would shut up and stop their conversation when he entered the room. He could tell that they were making fun of him. They would each smirk at him or giggle. He knew that they thought of it as a joke but he was tired of being laughed at by everyone, especially his friends. They had asked him to go to the Bronze tonight but he told them that he had better things to do. He didn't really have anything better to do but he didn't feel like being around them. He had just bought The Phantom Menace with the money left over from his last paycheck from his latest job. A job he had gotten fired from because Anya kept calling work and bugging his boss. How ironic is that? Xander settled down for a night with Qui-Gon, Obi-Won and Anakin.

As the end credits were rolling Xander was half-asleep. He noticed that the remote control was on top of the TV and he didn't feel like getting up. If he was a Jedi he could have it fly right into his hands. It was a ridiculous idea but then again this was the Hellmouth so he gave it a try. Xander closed his eyes and concentrated. He tried to reach out with the 'force'. He opened up his eyes and saw the remote shaking on top of the TV. As soon as he lost his concentration the remote stopped shaking. So he redoubled his efforts. He cleared his mind of everything. All of his friends, Anya, his parents and his problems holding a job. Xander opened his eyes and saw the remote flying right at him. Unfortunately he couldn't control it and it hit him in the head, knocking him unconscious.

Xander woke up in the morning and his hands instantly moved up to his forehead. His head was throbbing and he could tell that it was slightly dented. He looked down on the bed and saw that his remote control was broken but for the life of him he couldn't remember how. He strained his brain trying to recall exactly what happened.

Xander: Ok I was watching The Phantom Menace... then I woke up and the TV was still on... and then... then what did I do? Think Xander think. I was probably too lazy to go get the remote and the TV is still on but the remote is here. How did that happen? Maybe I used the force and it flew over here. Yeah right Xander.

He looked down at the broken remote. It was ruined. He suddenly had a flash of memory. He saw the remote flying in the air and hitting him on the head.

Xander: How the hell did it do that?

Then he remembered that he was trying to use the 'force'.

Xander: I remember now. I was goofing around and tried to get the remote to come to me. Unfortunately it did and it hit me in the head. Oww! I wonder if I can do it again.

Xander concentrated on the remote and it slowly but surely started to rise. He started to get real excited. Unfortunately this caused him to lose his concentration and the remote flew right through the screen of his TV. Needless to say, Xander was not a happy camper.

Xander: God Dammit. I guess I'll just have to practice. Now the only question is what else I can do. I guess I'll have to research.

Xander went over to Giles house only to discover that he wasn't there. He used the key that Giles kept under his welcome mat and let himself in. He was kind of glad Giles wasn't there. He wanted to keep this a secret. Somehow it made him feel more special. He looked for several hours but the only thing he found that was close were a few demons that had telekinetic powers. A few of them were extinct and the ones that weren't couldn't mate with a human so he couldn't have received his powers from them. Xander was about to give up when he found a book. It was in the back of Giles closet along with a couple Playboys. Who knew Giles had it in him?

Xander pulled out the book and started to flip through it. There wasn't anything extraordinary in it. In fact it wasn't even one of Giles' 'demon books'. It was just a list of names. Xander noticed a few of the names. This was a list of Watcher names. He was about to put the book back when a name caught his attention: Herbert Lucas.

Xander: Hmm... Herbert, could he be any relation to George? I guess I need to do a little more digging. Think I'll try the Internet.

Xander was about to leave the apartment when the door suddenly opened to reveal Giles.

Giles: Xander what are you doing here?

Xander: Ah... I was just watching some TV, mine broke.

Giles: I see. Well I'm going to do some research so I would appreciate it if you keep the volume down.

Xander: Don't worry about it G-man. There's nothing on so I think I'm just gonna take off. I think I'm gonna go by Willow's and look up porn on the internet.

Giles: (rubs his eyes) Could you please not tell me these things.

Xander: No problem.

Xander walked the 7 miles to the campus while practicing his newly discovered gift. He would see some toys in a yard and would levitate them. Unfortunately he still couldn't control them and a few of them broke windows. Xander didn't want to stick around to see what the parents did to their kids. He was kind of disappointed by the fact that he couldn't control it but he was encouraged that he gained more control every time he tried it. It was only a matter of time until he mastered it. When he finally got to Willow's room, he knocked and found that Tara girl there.

Xander: Is Willow here?

Tara: (looks at her feet) No she's in class. Do... do you want to wait for her.

Xander: (walks in) Sure I'd love to. I actually need to use Wills computer.

Tara: Oh go right ahead... she'll be back in a half an hour.

Xander nodded and began to work. It only took him a few minutes before he found the information he was looking for. It seems that Herbert was George's father. Maybe George got the whole Jedi idea from the supernatural. Looks like he would have to pay Mr. Lucas a visit.

Xander turned and saw Tara sitting on Willow's bed.

Xander: You like Willow huh?

Tara: (she smiled timidly) Yeah she's great.

Xander: (grinning) I mean you like like her. As in I want you to be with me forever.

Tara: (looking down) I don't know what you mean.

Xander: Sure you do. You want to be with Willow.

Tara: I... I... I love her so much.

Xander: Well you just treat her well and you'll have no problem with me.

Tara: (looks at him) Do... do you think she likes me?

Xander: (contemplated for awhile) I know she likes you as a friend but I don't know if she feels more for you. My advice is to tell her how you feel and see if she feels the same way.

Tara: You think?

Xander: Yeah.

Tara: Thanks.

Xander: No problem. Look I gotta go. Tell Wills I stopped by and I'll see her at the meeting tonight.

Tara: I will... and Xander.

Xander: Yes.

Tara: Thanks again.

Xander just smiled and left the room. He spent the rest of the day walking around campus trying to find out the extent of his powers. He practiced levitating objects. He'd start with small then move his way up. He found that he couldn't life objects over 20 pounds, at least not yet. He assumed he would be able to lift heavier objects the more he practiced. Size matters not, yeah right. Yoda has no idea what he is talking about.

Xander is sitting on a bench by himself when a very shapely redhead walks by. She's about 5'2", 100 pounds and has hazel eyes. She is absolutely gorgeous. Xander decides to test the Jedi Mind Trick that was in the movie, not that he would force anyone to do anything though. He goes up to her and concentrates.

Xander: Hi. My name's Xander.

Stacy: Hi, my name's Stacy.

Xander: (using the Jedi Mind Trick to persuade her) You and I will go to your room and have sex now.

Stacy slaps him hard and walks away.

Xander: (holds his face where she slapped him) I guess she isn't weak-minded.

Behind him Xander heard giggles that he knew all to well. He turned around and saw Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Riley. He walked over to them.

Buffy: (grinning) You and I will go to your room and have sex now huh?

Xander: If that's what you want Buff.

Buffy: (reddens and playfully slaps him) That's not what I meant. What was that about anyway?

Xander: I was just trying out a new line. My old lines don't seem to work so I thought I'd try some new ones. Guess I'll stop using that one.

The girls giggled. Surprisingly, to everyone but Xander, Tara spoke up.

Tara: Xander would you like to join us?

Xander: Sure Tara, I would like that.

The gang sat down at the nearest table and started to eat. They were all having a good time until Riley spoke.

Riley: So Xander what are you doing here?

Xander: Well I wanted to use Wills computer and then I decided to try out my new line.

Riley: I see. I thought you'd be looking for a new job. I heard they fired you from the Pizza Hut.

Xander just glared at Riley.

Xander: (grinning) Well I could get a job with the Initiative but I really don't want to take steroids.

Riley glared back.

Buffy: Come on guys calm down. (looks at Xander) Xander you better behave, I don't want Riley beating you up.

Xander: What makes you think he could take me?

Willow: Come on Xander. Everyone knows Riley could kick your butt.

Xander says nothing. Riley goes to take a drink out of water out of a plastic bottle when an unseen force squeezes the bottle and water comes rushing out and spills all over Riley's face.

Xander: (laughing) Yeah well at least I know how to drink water. I'm outta here. I'll see you all tonight at Giles.

Later that night at Giles, the gang is all there except Xander. Xander walked in ten minutes after the meeting started.

Giles: Xander where have you been?

He didn't want to tell them the truth. What was he gonna say? That he was perfecting his new found powers and now he can lift several hundred pounds with just a thought?

Xander: (glares at Riley) Just looking for a job G-man. Some of us don't get paid for dressing up and playing army.

Buffy: Xander why don't you just shut up?

Xander doesn't know what to say so he just shuts up.

Giles: Yes well I think that just about covers the briefing.

They start to leave.

Giles: Xander could you stay a minute.

Xander: Sure Giles.

The rest of the gang leaves.

Giles: Xander I would like for you to tell me what's going on.

Xander: What do you mean Giles?

Giles: I'm talking about what's going on with you.

Xander: Nothing's going on. (gets a look from Giles) Ok. I'm just sick of being treated like crap by everyone else. Just because I didn't get into college doesn't mean they can treat me this way. Hell you should know what I'm talking about.

Giles: I don't understand.

Xander: In High School we would all hang around all the time. We were like a real family. Nowadays they hardly ever need us except for help. At least they come to you, they usually don't want me to help.

Giles: I understand. It's called growing up Xander. We're all off in different worlds now. There should be a little distance between us, it's only natural.

Xander: Little? Little? Maybe to you it's little but to me it's the size of the Grand Canyon. They keep pushing me away and I don't know what to do.

Giles: I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps time will tell.

Xander: Yeah, perhaps I'll find my niche in life and we'll all come back together. Thank you Giles.

Xander goes outside and finds that the gang has already taken off for the cemetery.

Xander: Damn them.

At the cemetery the whole gang is patrolling.

Willow: Do you guys think we did the right thing by leaving Xander?

Riley: Of course we did Willow. He's not exactly a fighter, he'd only get hurt.

Buffy: Yeah Willow, Riley's right.

A dozen vamps suddenly surrounded them.

As Xander was nearing the cemetery, he heard the sounds of fighting. All of the anger he was feeling towards them disappeared once he thought that his friends could be in trouble.

As he raced to the scene he saw Buffy and Riley stake one vamp each, leaving ten to deal with. It also looked like Willow and Tara were using spells on the vamps in order to force them back. Xander immediately ran up to the closest vamp and fortunately was able to stake him. That only left nine. They were starting to attack in small groups now. Three of them after Riley, three for Buffy and the last three were going after Willow, Tara, and himself.

Xander quickly took in the situation. Buffy and Riley were holding their own for now. The vamp coming after him was still far away, while the two going after Willow and Tara were battering down their defenses. Xander motioned his hand toward the two vamps attacking Willow and Tara. This caused the vamps to fly backwards, stunning them long enough to allow Willow and Tara to stake them.

Tara: Wow I guess we're more powerful than we thought.

Willow: Yeah I guess we are. Let's help the guys out.

Meanwhile because Xander was helping out the others he didn't see the vamp approach him. By the time he did the vamp already had a hold on Xander's arms. The vamp was too strong and Xander couldn't get out of his grip. Instead he looked in his eyes. This one fought like a newbie, acted more like an animal than a man. He hoped it would think more animal like and therefore have a weaker mind. He prayed it would work.

Xander looked into the beast's eyes.

Xander: (using the Jedi Mind Trick) Release me.

It did and Xander handed him a stake.

Xander: Go and kill as many vampires as you can and then stake yourself.

The vamp left to fulfill his master's request.

By the time Xander's servant made his way over to Buffy and the rest of the gang there were only 3 vampires left. Unfortunately everyone was battered and bruised and the vamps were moving in for the kill. When they saw their fellow vampire join them they were ecstatic. There was no way they could fail now. What surprised them was that the vampire in question immediately staked one of them. Now there were only two of them left plus the traitor. They immediately surrounded their traitorous brethren and were surprised to see that he had no fear in his eyes.

Vamp1: What do you think you're doing?

Traitor Vamp: (lunges at him and stakes him) Doing what my master ordered.

He immediately starts to goes after the last vampire. It is not necessary though because a slightly recovered Buffy stakes him from behind. She then looks at the last vamp.

Buffy: Ok Mr. you're going to tell me why you did that otherwise I'm going to kill you.

The vampire says nothing. He simply stakes himself and crumbles to dust with a smile on his face. He fulfilled his master's mission.

As soon as the vampire turned to dust Riley spoke up.

Riley: Well that was interesting. Does anyone know what that was about?

Xander: I know I sure don't. I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place.

Buffy: Xander don't be like that. We just wanted to keep you out of harm's way.

Xander: Well it didn't really work did it? (sighs) Maybe you're right?

Buffy: (can't believe her ears. Xander's never given up) What?

Xander: You guys are right. I only get in your way. I think I'm gonna leave Sunnydale.

Buffy: (can't believe her ears) What? You can't leave. We need you here.

Xander: Relax Buff. I'm just gonna go on my little roadtrip, you know to make up for the fact that my last one sucked. I've saved up some money so it should be better than the last one.

Buffy: How long are you going to be gone?

Xander: I don't know. 2-3 months. 4 at the most.

Buffy: You can't leave us for that long.

Xander: I need to leave in order to find myself. Besides it's not like you guys really need me to help around here. I'd just get hurt remember?

Buffy: Xander we do need you around. I need you around.

Xander: Listen Buff, this is something that I have to do. Do you understand?

Buffy: (Hugs him) No but if it's something that you need to do then I support you 100%.

Xander: Thanks Buff. I guess I'm gonna go home, pack and leave in the morning.

Buffy: See you Xander.

Willow decides now to speak up.

Willow: Xander make sure that you write or send us postcards.

Xander: (hugs her) You know I will.

Xander sees Tara and pulls her into a hug.

Xander: (whispering) You need to tell Willow how you feel.

Tara: (whispering as well) I'm afraid.

Xander: If you don't tell her by the time I get back then I'll tell her.

The only person left was Riley. Xander just stared at him.

Xander: There's no way I'm hugging you.

Xander then turned around and walked out of the cemetery. He'd stop by Giles, say his good-byes and go home and pack.

Xander got out of his car and headed toward the office building where George Lucas' company was located. When Xander entered the building he immediately went up to the front desk clerk.

Xander: Could you please direct me to George Lucas' office.

Clerk: Do you have an appointment?

Xander: No.

Clerk: Then I cannot help you.

Xander: (using the Jedi Mind Trick) You will tell me where his office is.

Clerk: (trance like) I will tell you where his office is. You can take those elevators over there. His office is located on the 23rd floor.

Xander: Thank you. It's good to know that there are weak-minded people around.

Xander went to the elevator and went up to the 23rd floor. He found George Lucas' office and was about to walk in when he was confronted by a secretary.

Secretary: Where do you think you're going?

Xander: I'm going to see George.

Secretary: No you're not.

Xander: (using his mind tricks) You will let me go to see George.

Secretary: No I will not.

Xander: (silently swears to himself) Then could you tell him that he has a visitor?

Secretary: What shall I say this is concerning?

Xander: Tell him it's about his father's job.

The secretary walks into the office and comes back a minute later.

Secretary: He will see you now.

Xander walks into the office and sees George seated behind an expensive looking desk.

George: So what do you know?

Xander: I know that your father was a watcher and that you probably got the idea for the Jedi from some book.

George: If this is true why do you care? Are you trying to blackmail me?

Xander: (laughs) No. I just want the book.

George: Why?

Xander doesn't say anything. He levitates a chair.

George: I see. I don't have the book anymore. I read it and then gave it back to my father. By now the watchers have it.

Xander: (starts to leave) Well thanks anyway.

George: Wait. I do remember something. One of their temples was Stonehenge. If you're looking for answers that's as good a place to look as any.

Xander: Thanks. I don't suppose you could give me a job so I could afford to go there?

George: I'll one up you. I'll pay for the whole thing. It's the least I can do.

Xander had been in England for about an hour. He was in a rented car and was about an hour away from Salisbury, the closest town to Stonehenge. As he got closer a feeling inside of him grew. He couldn't explain it but he knew that he was on the right track. When Xander arrived at Salisbury it was already nighttime. He decided to check into a hotel and visit Stonehenge tomorrow.

As Xander walked into the hotel a figure watched him from afar.

Figure: So he's finally here. It's about time.

As soon as Xander's head hit the pillow someone started to knock on his door.

Xander: Go away.

The knocking continued. Xander finally got up and opened the door. He saw an older man wearing a brown coat standing there. He looked around 50. He had an air of confidence around him and something else that Xander couldn't quite place.

Xander: Is this important because I was going to get some sleep?

Man: Hi my name is Robert McCaffrey and yes this is important. May I come in Xander?

Xander: Are you a vampire? Wait a minute how did you know my name?

Robert: I have watched you for a long time Xander. I have waited for you to seek me out for even longer.

Xander: Why?

Robert: Because it is my destiny to train you.

Xander: Are you a 'Jedi'?

Robert: Yes Xander I am.

The next several hours went by as Robert explained to Xander the origins of the Jedi. He told Xander how the druid priests would select certain individuals to protect their homeland from the Roman invasion. The ones selected were in tune with nature, or the force as they called it. The druid magicks would exponentially increase this 'bond' and would allow the person to do incredible things. In the end however things must be balanced, thus the Sith were born. The Sith were in tune with the darker side of things. They embraced chaos and destruction: the dark side of the force.

As opposites, the Sith and the Jedi naturally waged war on each other. They fought for centuries, which resulted in nothing but a stalemate. The Sith almost destroyed themselves due to fighting between themselves. After this they changed their ways. Now there was always one Master and one Apprentice. The Jedi disappeared in a different way. Over time they were no longer needed. Soon their numbers dwindled to only a few. Eventually the Jedi simply vanished into myth... never to be heard of again until the 1970's.

Robert: Get some sleep Xander. Tomorrow I'll take you to my house in Glenfinnan and we'll start with your training.

The next day Xander and Robert arrive at his place after a ten-hour drive. Along the way Robert taught Xander how to clear his mind and let go his conscious self and act on instinct...to stretch out with his feelings. This also taught him patience. A valuable lesson while taking a ten-hour drive. Along the way Xander reached out with the force and objects started to float in the air as they drove past them. As soon as the objects were behind them they dropped back down to the ground.

When they drove up to Robert's place there was a young woman waiting for them. Xander guessed she was around 25. She had shoulder length blonde hair, a lithe figure and gorgeous green eyes. Xander imagined that Buffy would look like this in a few years. He was shocked to see the woman jump in Robert's arms and kiss him passionately.

Xander: Way to go Robert.

Robert: Thanks... I think. Xander I would like you to meet my wife Debra. Debra this is Xander.

Xander took her hand and placed a gallant kiss on it.

Xander: It's a pleasure to meet you Debra. You're a Jedi too aren't you?

Debra: Yes Xander. Robert was my teacher just as he is now yours.

Robert: Enough of this chitchat. Let's get started.

Three months later Xander has learned a great deal but still has much to learn. He is floating about three feet off of the ground practicing a Jedi Relaxation Technique. He suddenly screams out and falls to the ground. Robert is there to help him up.

Robert: You need to learn how to concentrate better Xander.

Xander: I sensed something. It felt empty... evil.

Robert: The Dark Side is what you sensed.

Xander: It feels close.

Robert: What you feel is some residual energy. A few months before you came here we were attacked by a Sith warrior. Debra and me were eventually able to destroy him but his presence will be felt here for a very long time.

Xander: Which one was it? The Master or the Apprentice?

Robert: We are not sure. He wasn't exactly talkative. Enough of this negative talk. It's time to start your lightsaber training.

Xander: Lightsaber? I thought that was just something that Lucas made up.

Robert: Nope, the man doesn't have a creative bone in his body. As my apprentice you will be supplied with a lightsaber. When your training is complete you will create your own.

Xander: But how do you make one? We don't have the technology.

Robert: Actually we use runes as capacitors to focus our 'force' energy. A different rune will give a different blade color. Once you have created this rune you can place it in the handle of your choosing. I actually put mine in a replica of Obi-Wan's lightsaber handle from the first movie. You have to turn the lightsaber on with your mind. That is why concentration is so important. You don't want your lightsaber turning off during the middle of a battle. It also has its advantages. No one besides a force user can use it.

Robert handed Xander a lightsaber. Xander looked at it for awhile and then a yellow blade formed. As soon as it did, Robert pulled out his and a blue blade emerged from it. Then the blades crossed.

Three months later and Xander's training is nearly complete. Xander is blindfolded while Robert is aiming a gun at him. Robert squeezes off 15 rounds and Xander intercepts them all with his lightsaber, which instantly disintegrates the bullets.

Xander: (taking the blindfold off) How was that?

Robert: Excellent. (uses the force to hurl a nice sized rock at Xander's head.)

Xander: (deflects the rock away from him without looking) Thank you.

Xander and Robert go up to one another and hug.

Robert: Very good Xander. I confer on you the title of Jedi Knight.

Xander: (smiling so much that all of his teeth are showing) Thank you. This is the happiest day of my life.

Robert: No need to thank me. You earned it. Now I think there is something that you have to do.

Xander slightly bows and leaves to complete his final task. The completion of his lightsaber. He makes a rune that will give him a green colored blade. He puts it in a replica of Qui-Gon's lightsaber that he had purchased several months earlier. He turns it on and slices it through the air a few times in order to get use to the feel of it. It feels as if it were an extension of himself. Like it was always meant to be there.

Later that night Xander is meditating and floating several objects around him, including a couple of cars. Suddenly he senses something very wrong.

Xander: Cordy? No!!

Suddenly the cars fall and Xander also falls.

Robert: You need to concentrate more.

Xander: I saw a friend being attacked.

Robert: What you saw hasn't happened yet.

Xander: She's going to die if I don't do something.

Robert: (concentrates) Yes she will.

Xander: I have to go. If there is a chance to save her then I have to take it.

Robert: I understand.

Early the next morning Xander is saying his good-byes to Robert and Debra.

Xander: I want to thank you two for all you have done for me... all you have given me.

Debra: We have given you nothing Xander, we've only shown you your potential.

Xander: (hugs her) I'll miss you guys.

Robert: We'll miss you too Xander.

Xander takes off which leaves Robert and Debra time to voice their opinions.

Debra: Do you think he is ready? He has too many emotions. He could easily be swayed to the Dark Side.

Robert: (nods sadly and starts to walk away) It is his destiny.

The next day Xander's plane has landed at LAX and he is checking his luggage through customs. The customs clerk notices his lightsaber.

Clerk: I need to see that.

Xander: (uses the force) You don't need to see that.

Clerk: I don't need to see that.

Xander: I can go.

Clerk: You can go.

Xander: Have a nice day.

Clerk: You have a nice day sir.

Xander nods and hails a cab. The driver drops him off in front of Angel Investigations.

Driver: That will be $23.64 sir.

Xander: (Hands him a dollar and uses the force) Here you go. Keep the change.

Driver: (thinks it's a hundred dollar bill) Thanks a lot buddy. If you need a ride anytime ask for me, Bob Santiago.

Xander: (chuckles) I'll consider it Bob.

Cordelia Chase was polishing her nails when she heard the door open. Standing there was her ex boyfriend who had apparently put on quite a bit of muscle. He had on brown boots, brown pants, a cream colored shirt and a long brown coat. He looked yummy.

Cordelia: Xander you look yummy.

Xander just looked at her funny. He forgot how she likes to speak her mind.

Xander: Thanks Cordy. You look good yourself.

Cordelia: Just good?

Xander: Beautiful?

Cordelia: That's better. So what are you doing here?

Xander: (smirks) Maybe I came to see Deadboy.

Cordelia: (laughs) Yeah right. (calms down) Seriously why are you here?

Xander: Well my plane landed here so I decided to see you while I'm
here.

Cordelia: Yeah Buffy told us that you went on a road trip. So where'd you end up?

Xander: Buffy was here?

Cordelia: Yeah she came by and she found Faith hugging Angel. Congratulations by the way.

Xander: Congratulations?

Cordelia: Yeah. You and Faith.

Xander: (groans) It's not something that I'm very proud of.

Cordelia: I'll bet. So where did you go?

Xander: My trip? I actually got as far as Scotland. You should go there someday. It's beautiful country.

Cordelia: Wow Scotland. I never thought you'd get past Oxnard.

Xander: (starts choking) Oxnard?

Cordelia: Yeah Buffy mentioned something about Oxnard.

Xander: (embarrassed) What did she tell you?

Cordelia: (whispers in his ear) Everything she knew.

Xander: Oh... so where's Deadboy and... Faith?

Cordelia: (looks at him suspiciously) Why do you want to know where Faith is? Looking for another roll in the hay?

Xander: NO!

Just then a voice speaks from around the corner.

Faith: Why not? It certainly was fun the first time.

Xander: (blushes) Thanks... I think but I don't see it happening. So... kill anyone lately?

Faith: (gets a sad look) That was a lifetime ago. I've changed... in some ways. But if you want another roll in the hay, I'm here for you.

Xander: (senses that she is no longer evil) Well there's always Riley. Congratulations on that by the way.

Faith: (groans) I told Buffy that I was sorry. You don't have any idea how sorry. It was terrible.

Xander brightens up and laughs.

Xander: You just made my day. So what do you guys do for fun around here?

Cordelia: Well actually Faith and me go clubbing a lot.

Xander: Cool. Do you think your reps would suffer if you were seen with me?

Cordelia: Of course not Xander. I use to date you remember? That should show you that I don't care about my rep.

Xander: Gee thanks Cordy. So how about if I pick you ladies up around 7?

Faith: Sure. Just make sure you wear something nice.

Xander: (looks at his clothes) Like this?

Faith: Yeah that'll be fine.

Xander leaves and Faith sits down next to Cordy.

Faith: Is it me or does he look even better?

Cordelia: It's not you.

Back in Sunnydale Adam is pacing in his hideout thinking about his next move when suddenly two demons come flying through the door. Adam looks up to see a hooded figure dressed in black standing there. He can sense that it is a human female but there is something else about her, something elusive.

Adam: Who are you?

Figure: You may call me Darth Malice.

Adam: Why are you here?

Darth Malice: You get right to the point don't you?

Adam: I was programmed that way.

Darth Malice: I wish an alliance.

Adam: I do not need your help.

Darth Malice: Don't you? Your plans have been thwarted thus far... besides you don't want me as an enemy.

Adam: And why is that?

The bodies of the now conscious demons start to rise off of the floor. They grab at their throats and an audible crunch can be heard. The demons fall to the floor... dead.

Adam: Let us talk.

Back in LA, Xander has picked up the girls and they are now waiting in line to get into a new club.

Bouncer: Name.

Cordelia: Cordelia Chase.

Bouncer: Your name's not on the list.

Faith: (to Cordy) Let me try.

Bouncer: (sees her) Name.

Faith doesn't say anything. She just starts running her hands over his chest.

Faith: Me and my friends were wondering if a big strong man like you would let us in. I could make it worth your while.

Bouncer: If your name's not on the list you don't get in.

Faith: Fine loser. (looking at Xander and Cordy) Let's get out of here.

Xander: No. If you guys want in here then that's what's gonna happen.

Xander walks up to the bouncer.

Xander: Our names are at the top of the list.

Bouncer: Oh... there your names are.

Xander: You're sorry for the inconvenience. We may go inside now.

Bouncer: I'm sorry for the inconvenience. You can go inside now.

Xander smiles and takes the girls arms and leads them inside. As soon as they're inside Cordy questions him.

Cordelia: Ok, Xander what was that?

Xander: Maybe I just intimidated him.

Cordelia: Xander that guy was almost a foot taller than you and had to weigh at least 350 pounds. I don't think you intimidated him.

Xander: Maybe I was his type.

Cordelia: What do you mean? I don't think he's gay.

Xander: Well people can fool you.

Faith: Well come on Xander. I want to dance.

Xander: Why don't you two go dance. I think I'll sit this one out.

Faith: Ok but you don't know what you're missing.

Xander watched as the girls went to dance with each other. It was one of the most erotic things that Xander had ever seen. Cordy and Faith were bumping and grinding against one another... hips shifting, breasts bouncing. Xander had to look away in order to concentrate. He knew that tonight would be the night of the attack. He could feel it.

Xander was still scanning the room half an hour later when he looked up and saw Cordy grab hisarm. He knew what she wanted so he let her lead him to the dance floor. As soon as he got there Faith and Cordy decided to double-team him. Faith was in front of him while Cordy was behind him. Faith was rubbing her butt up against his crotch while Cordy pressed her hips up close to his butt and ran her hands over his chest and thighs. Xander had a hard time concentrating because all the blood rushed out of his head. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your point of view, the girls were torn away from him.

Man1: Hey hotstuff, why don't you come back to my place. I'll show you my moves.

Cordelia: I don't think so, now get your damn hands off of me.

The second man had even worse results with Faith.

Xander: (to both men) I don't think the ladies want your attention gentlemen.

Man1: Who asked you punk? Get lost before you get hurt.

Faith: Why don't you get lost you piece of...

Cordelia: Faith, you need to calm down. I think we should leave now.

Xander: I think Cordy's right Faith, let's leave these men alone.

Man2: That's right little man, I think you all should leave.

As the trio left the man nodded to several of his other friends and followed them out of the door. When they got several blocks away the men made their move.

Man1: Faith you shouldn't have left so fast.

Faith: (turns around and sees 5 guys) How did you know my name?

Man1: Let's just say that you should have killed Angel.

Faith: You work for Wolfram and Hart.

Man1: Yes we do.

Suddenly 3 of the men morphed into vampires.

Faith immediately went on the attack. She gave one vampire an uppercut while Cordy held one off with a cross. Xander was just watching Cordy very closely. While Faith was fighting one vamp another was sneaking up behind her. Xander used the force and threw the vamp against a wall. While this was happening Faith dusted her vamp and snuck up behind the vamp Cordy was holding off. It was dusted several seconds later. The only bad guys left were the two men and the dazed vampire.

Man1: (clapping his hands) Very good, I see that you can kill a vampire.

Faith held her stake up and started towards the man.

Faith: I can dust you too.

Man1: I don't think so. I'm human, I don't think you'll be killing me.

Faith: (continues walking) Think again.

Cordelia: Faith you can't. You'll ruin all that you've worked for.

Faith knew she was right so she walked back towards her friends.

As soon as Faith got back the men pulled guns. Xander stepped in front of the girls.

Man1: But I can kill you.

Both men started to open fire on the trio. Before Faith could act Xander pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it. Xander was moving the saber so fast that Faith could only see a green blur but she could hear the telltale humming sound of a lightsaber. Xander intercepted every bullet with his lightsaber and disintegrated them. When they ran out of bullets he lifted them up in the air with the force and started to choke them. After they pass out due to lack of oxygen he lets them fall to the ground. It's at this point that the vampire decides the party is over and he takes off.

Faith is too shocked to do anything. By the time she recovers the vampire is a good half a block away, too far to hit it with a stake. Instead she feels the stake leap from her hand and head directly towards the vampire. He is dust. Immediately the stake flies back to them and Xander catches it.

Xander: (hands it to her) Here you go.

Faith: Ah... ah... thanks. What the hell was that?

Xander: (sighs) Let's go find Angel. I might as well explain it to all of you at the same time.

TBC