SquidgeWorld Archive

Three in a bed and Tim McGee said, "Gibbs, Tony is kicking me!"

"Am not," said Tony, muttering "Squealer," under his breath. Out loud he added, "Quit hogging the blankets, Probie."

"Gibbs said you weren't to call me that any more, DiNozzo."

"Actually, he said that you weren't a probationary field agent any more...he didn't say I had to stop calling you anything."

Gibbs emerged from the bathroom brushing his teeth. "Ducky, slap those two for me."

"With pleasure, Jethro." Sitting up in the bed, Ducky leaned over and delivered two hefty smacks.

"Ouch!" yelped Tony and McGee.

"Dammit Ducky, you do it harder than Gibbs!"

"Well I have had many more years to practice, my dear boys. Now shut up and go to sleep. And Tony...don't hog all the blankets, there's a good chap."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and returned to the bathroom. He'd known this was going to be a bad day from the moment they'd shown up at the crime scene to discover that the F.B.I. had gotten there first and were claiming jurisdiction. The smug bastard of a fed had told him, "Gee Agent Gibbs, didn't anybody tell you? I really can't understand it, we notified N.C.I.S. straightaway that this was our body." Then he'd gone, "Oops...guess we must have forgot."

He'd walked away laughing. Gibbs had yelled down the phone for a good ten minutes but to no avail. So he and his team had had to pack up their gear and return empty handed.

To make matters worse, they hadn't even been able to get home. The crime scene had been in an insolated part of the state and the only direct route back to Washington had been closed off. Something to do with a bridge collapse or something. Gibbs didn't know, and didn't particularly care. It had been getting late by the time they'd been diverted and Gibbs knew that trying to find an alternative route was probably not the best idea. So they'd stopped at the first motel they'd found, which advertised itself as the only one for fifty miles.

More bad news was that they were very short on rooms.

"We have one single room," said the desk clerk, smiling, "and one 'family' room."

After so many hours of driving that day, Gibbs didn't really care and just signed them in.

The next bit of bad news came when they realized how few beds there were in the family room.

"This sucks," complained Tony. "How come Ziva got the single room to herself?"

"Do I have to spell it out to you, DiNozzo?" growled Gibbs. "Shove over," he said to Ducky as he slid under the covers. He was in an even worse mood than usual. He'd stubbed his toe in the bathroom, the only coffee in the place came from a vending machine, and worst of all, he was at the opposite end of the bed from Tony.

When Gibbs had heard 'family' room, he'd figured that like most hotels the accommodations would consist of a few double beds...or at the least, a double bed and maybe a few singles. He was sure it wouldn't be a problem to rig it so that he and Tony would have ended up in the double. Granted they wouldn't have been able to get up to much with the others in earshot, but a DiNozzo pillow was far more comfortable than anything the motel could provide.

But no, they'd had to get the only room that was intended for a 'family' of three or less and one double and one single was all that was on offer.

It had been Ducky's idea to push the two beds together, "That way we'll be able to fit an extra person in there, Jethro."
But that still left them short of space.

"Do I have to spell it out to you, DiNozzo?" growled Gibbs. "She's the only female in the party, so she gets the single room."

"Yeah, but why couldn't one of us have squeezed in with her?"

"I thought you said she snored all night when you were undercover together, Tony?" said McGee. He was trying very hard not to move too much. With Ducky on one side and Tony on the other, somehow he'd ended up on the join between the beds and he was sure he could feel it widening beneath him every time he moved.

"Still better than you grinding your teeth all night, *Probie*...ouch! Stop kicking me."

"My foot slipped," snapped McGee. "Cramp."

"Yeah? Well so did my hand," said Tony, swatting McGee.

"Gentlemen," said Ducky, "One more word out of either of you, and..."

"And they can join Palmer in the Autopsy van," said Gibbs. To himself he cursed the fact that he'd ended up on the opposite side of the bed to Tony. Although, to be fair, it was probably for the best. Any closer to Tony and he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands off him. And while he was pretty sure that Ducky at least knew that he and Tony were sleeping together, it wasn't something he wanted to advertise. Not to mention the fact that with four in a bed, making a grab for Tony could get quite embarrassing if he reached in the wrong direction while half asleep.

Even with the beds pushed together, there was no way that five adult men would fit into a space meant for three. It was Tony who had suggested gleefully that maybe somebody could use the gurney in the Autopsy van.

"That's rather a good idea, Anthony," Ducky had said. "Of course since the van is my responsibility, it would be unfair of me to ask anybody else to sleep there."

Gibbs had overruled him, "Seniority Ducky, bosses get to sleep inside." He'd clapped Palmer on the shoulder. "Looks like you're up, Palmer." Gibbs hadn't grinned *too* widely at this...and he really wasn't punishing Palmer for spilling his coffee earlier that day. Not at all, this was just the most...logical solution to the problem.

So Jimmy had taken himself off to the van to spend the night, but as Gibbs turned over in the bed and tried without success to pull the bedclothes with him, he was beginning to think that maybe Palmer was the lucky one. At least he had a bed to himself.

---------------

"McGee!" hissed Tony, a few hours later. "Hey, Probie, you awake?"

"Wha...what?" McGee blinked tiredly. "What was that Tony?" he whispered.

"I said, are you awake?"

"Well I am *now*."

"I can't sleep," said Tony. "I was thinking...maybe we should go and knock on the windows of the Van. Give Palmer a fright."

"Tony...it's..." McGee looked at the luminous hands on his watch. "It's three a.m...shut up and let me sleep."

"Oh come on, you're no fun," grumbled Tony. He yanked on the covers, only to get into a tugging match with McGee. With a supreme effort, Tony rolled onto his side, taking the covers with him...and ended up on the floor with a thud.

The light came on, on the far side of the bed. "DiNozzo, are you okay?" asked Gibbs.

A blanket covered figure emerged from the floor. "Yeah," came Tony's muffled voice.

"Then quit acting the fool and go to sleep," growled Gibbs. "You'll wake Ducky."

"He's too late for that," said Ducky, tiredly. "You know, this reminds me of the time..."

Gibbs groaned and flopped back onto the mattress. As an afterthought he flicked off the light switch. Unfortunately Tony had just untangled himself from the blanket and stubbed his toe in the darkness.

By the time they'd got him quietened down, tempers were a little frayed. McGee was sure that Gibbs hadn't meant it when he said he'd shoot the next person who said anything...but he wasn't really sure he wanted to take that chance, so he kept quiet, even when Tony stole his pillow.

---------------------

The next morning dawned bright and early on a group of N.C.I.S. agents who were not exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed. Well, except for Ducky who claimed to have slept extraordinarily well while having a wonderful dream about skiing in the Alps. The rest of the group were not quite so refreshed.

"Ah well," said Tony, stretching as he stepped out in the fresh morning sun. "However bad we had it, can you imagine how much worse it was for Palmer on that gurney."

"Um, Tony," said McGee. "I don't think he had to worry about it."

Tony followed McGee's gaze over to where a disheveled looking Palmer was being shooed out the door of Ziva's room.

Tony's jaw dropped and he was still staring open mouthed when Gibbs came along and swatted him.

"I'm checking out," said Gibbs. "Anybody not in the car by the time I get back...is staying here." He stomped off down towards the office, calling as he did so, "And the first person to say 'are we there yet' is walking the rest of the way."