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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-04
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Together

Summary:

It's the summer after OotP, just before school starts again. Ron struggles to deal with his feelings surrounding Sirius' death.

I own nothing, so don't sue. Please.

Work Text:

It's lonely out here. There's a slight breeze sending ripples across the lake, a frog croaking somewhere, a wren whistling, but apart from that, it's quiet. I'm so used to my house being warm and familiar, frenzied with energy and full of life, but lately...
I got up from my resting spot and made for the house. Fred and George haven't been around much, preferring to stay at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and work over the summer. I guess they're a little uncomfortable here - their usual jokes and pranks would be, for the first time, out of place.
Dad's a pretty scarce sight around here too, what with the Ministry being so overworked. He comes and goes at all sorts of strange hours, doing eighteen hour days, often Apparating off to work without even shaving.

I tiptoed through the kitchen, then not wanting to be disturbed, headed for my room, but stopped when I heard a crack from behind me. Dad. I sat down on the stairs and listened.
"Arthur, thank goodness you're home, come and I'll get you something to eat."
"Thank you dear, but I can't stay long, I'm afraid." Dad sounded weary and exhausted. "The whole place is in disarray...letters the size of hippogriffs covering my desk, most of them riddled with hexes - one grabbed the letter opener this morning and nearly took my eye out."
"Oh, dear," said Mum. "Can't they do something to stop it?"
"Not really, we're just too understaffed at the moment." Dad lowered his voice a little. "How's everything here?"
"They're both so distant, I feel as if I'm walking on eggshells around them." I knew Mum was talking about Ginny and I. "Honestly Arthur, my nerves are shot to ribbons. I don't know what to do for Ginny..." she trailed off. Dad sighed.
"I've got to get back soon, the things people are sending...whole place is brimming with dark artifacts," Dad said. "I really should send Bill an owl, see if he can help out at all..."

My heart sank a few more inches when I heard that. Bill. Bill, who'd chuckled when we'd complained about Snape being in the Order last summer. Bill, who frequently lost at chess but insisted he wasn't letting me win. Bill who had become such good mates with Sirius...
I couldn't take anymore. I stood up to go to my room, hearing Dad's voice from below.
"There's nothing we can do, Molly. Ginny just needs time. They all do."

Time. Yeah, right, I thought angrily, stomping up the stairs. If time was all it took, I'd grab one of those time-turners Hermione had in third year and go back to that night at the Department of Mysteries. This time though, I wouldn't get knocked out by Pluto - this time I'd hex Bellatrix Lestrange into oblivion before she even had a chance to turn her wand on Sirius.

I glared at the beam of sunlight spilling through the window. The whole day, clear and cloudless, seemed like it was mocking me, so I went to shut the blind and saw something small and round hurtling towards the window. It took me a moment to realize it was Pig. For a split second I was back in third year, watching him zoom alongside the Hogwarts Express struggling with a letter. It was too much, and I knew instantly that I couldn't stand to have him around, not when he was such a blatant reminder of Sirius. I glared furiously at him. "Go away, Pig!" I shouted. "Go away! Go to...oh, I don't know - I don't care! Just go away!" My throat tightened and I could feel my eyes clouding over. "You heard me, Pig! Go AWAY!" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force the tears back in, to erase the image of Sirius' grinning face. When I opened them, Pig was hovering sadly near the wardrobe, his eyes wide and hurt. He looked like he was in pain, as though I'd flicked him with my fingers, or hurled him against a wall. Maybe that's what I had done. Maybe what I'd done was worse. All at once I hated myself for my cruelty. My tears spilled over and the sound of my choking sobs filled the room. Pig fluttered into my outstretched hand and I held him against my face. "Go away, Pig," I wept hoarsely, cradling the tiny owl to my cheek. He ruffled slightly as my tears soaked his feathers, so I sat down on the bed and set him down next to me. I watched, my vision blurred with tears, as he shook his damp wings, hopped lightly to the top of my bed and started messily crunching up an owl treat. He seemed to have forgiven me. I turned away from the sight of him scattering crumbs on my pillow and stared at the wall opposite me.
"Go away," I repeated croakily. But I wasn't talking to Pig this time. I was talking to the stabbing pain in my head, the nauseating chill in the pit of my stomach, the dull, unrelenting ache in my heart that was equal parts misery, grief, guilt, empathy and anger.

"Go away!" I raged. "Go away! Just go!"
"Hey, I only just got here!" came a cheery voice from the hallway. Charlie's tanned face peered around the doorframe, then his grin froze as he saw my expression. His eyes softened and he strode across the room, sat down next to me, and pulled me into a hug. "Come here," he said softly, drawing me close to him. For the next few minutes he held me, rocking me, rubbing my back, whispering soothingly to me as I cried into his chest.

Finally I pulled away slightly, though my fingers were still clinging to his T-shirt.
"Si-Sirius is gone," I hiccoughed. Charlie ran his hand through my hair and down my back.
"Yeah, I know," he said softly.
"And..." I kept my eyes focused on a scorch mark in the carpet, a remnant of a half forgotten incident involving Fred and George and a Dr Filibuster firework. "And...Voldemort. He's back."
Charlie was quiet. He seemed to be considering what to say next.
"I wish..." he began carefully. "I wish there was something I could say to you... so you wouldn't have to worry anymore, you know? So I could fix everything, just like when you were little." He looked over to the window. It was getting darker now, and the weak light seeping between the slats of the binds cast shadows across his face. I took a deep breath.
"I know," I said quietly. "There's not really a quick fix for this. I guess it's just... time. Yeah. Like Dad said. Time." I sat up straighter and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Anyway, I've got to pull myself together - Harry and Hermione will be here soon, so I've got to be strong for them. Harry will need me."
Charlie smiled. "You're a good friend. He's lucky to have you - they both are." I smiled back and made to stand up, but Charlie caught my wrist. "Hey - if you need someone, I'm here. You're still my baby brother, you know." I looked up and met his eyes. "You don't have to be strong for me."

I felt better after my outburst, and thought I was probably up to being social. I waited a few minutes until I'd calmed down completely and my eyes looked less red, then I went downstairs for dinner. I immediately wished I hadn't. Ginny looked so edgy and pale I thought I'd break down again at the sight of her. She barely glanced at her plate when Mum set it in front of her, and I could tell she was waiting for a chance to escape to her bedroom. Mum looked like she was holding it together, but her speech was forced, as if she was unsure what to say to us. She needn't have worried; I barely listened anyway, just nodded my head and chewed my dinner without really tasting it. Charlie's eyes kept flicking toward me, but I pretended not to notice, and glanced out the window for any sign of Harry and Hermione. Nothing.

For the next few minutes I thought of nothing in particular, but a soft knock on the door lifted me from my trance. My hands gripped the table's edge and I struggled to swallow the nervous lump in my throat. Charlie caught my eye and I remembered what I'd said to him earlier. I need to be strong. So I put on what I hoped was a brave face and went to greet them.

They looked like they'd had a long journey; both of them appeared tired and drawn. Hermione's arms encircled my neck and she laid her head lightly on my shoulder. "Hi Hermione," I whispered, placing my hands gently on the small of her back.
"Hi," she replied quietly. She let go and I turned to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Harry..." he gripped my arm and looked up at me.
"Hey, Ron." His voice was stronger than I expected, but his face was filled with loss. We stood there and looked at each other for a moment before I silently led the way inside.
Dad was on his way out again, shaking Harry's hand and kissing Hermione on the cheek before Apparating quickly. Mum hurried over and hugged them both, then stepped back and took in their appearances - Harry, pale-faced and gloomy; Hermione shaky, her eyes red and watery. She turned to me, her face calm and understanding.
"Well." She said. "I'll let you three be together."

I pondered that as we made out way solemnly up the stairs. That word, together, that was important. We weren't alone anymore. However bad it had been this summer, whatever obstacles we still had to endure, however many tears we cried or nightmares we woke up screaming from - we had each other this time. We were together.

*Authors Note: Further chapters depend on feedback. This story has potential to get trio-ish if people are interested - let me know what you think.