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2020-11-04
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Trust Me

Summary:

FANDOM: "Farscape"
PAIRING: JOHN/AERYN
RATING: PG-13
STATUS: New.
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed
SERIES/SEQUEL: No. Standalone.
SUMMARY: "Crichton answers a call for help and ends up regretting it."
The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Submitted through the AdultFarscape and Makebelieve_YG mailing list.

Work Text:

Trust Me
A "Farscape" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
* * * * *

Crichton had been in a solemn mood all day. Aeryn noticed but did not say anything. She had things on her mind. Things she needed to do. She had noticed her training schedule was getting pretty sloppy and as a result she was not as sharp as she should be. Later that day she started to make her way to the training area when Crichton joined her in the corridor. "Mind if I tag along?"

She frowned at him.

"It means come with you."

"Why would I mind?"

He shrugged. "No reason, I just didn't want to bug you if you wanted to be alone."

She gave him an odd look and they entered the training area together. He had his hands in his pockets and kept looking down at his shoes then up at her through his downturned lashes. "Aeryn?"

"Yes?"

"Um, I wanted to talk to you."

Here it comes She thought.

"Do you trust me, Aeryn?"

"Yes, why?"

"You're gonna hear some things about me, not very nice things..."

"What are you saying?"

"All I'm saying is you're gonna hear some things about me that'll make you think and feel differently about me..."

Aeryn put a hand on the punchbag but did not start to pummel into it. She looked at him in some confusion. "Why would I think or feel differently about you?"

"Because the person who'll tell you these things is someone you trust more than me."

She frowned. "John Crichton, I have been with you on this leviathan for nearly three cycles. There is nothing anyone can do or say to alter my opinion of you."

"Then you still trust me?"

"Of course, why would I not trust you? What is this dren all about?"

He could not force the smile to his face so he just shook his head gently. "Nothing, sunshine. Just being plain old paranoid."

He turned and walked out of the training area leaving Aeryn staring after him. She shook her head then turned to the punch bag and began to train in earnest.

* * * * *

It was a couple of weekens later. They had been down on a commerce planet called Xylon and for once Chiana had not got into any trouble, Rygel had not disgraced himself, and Crichton had not got lost. Aeryn and D'Argo had gone to watch a Puka-chanta match and come back full of the joys of mortal combat. Zhaan had found a dozen knew varieties of herb for her apothecary and everyone returned in high spirits. Aeryn had forgotten all about Crichton's strange conversation with her when Pilot asked to see her in his chamber. Smiling she went to see him and noticed immediately that he looked ill at ease. Since sharing his DNA Aeryn had become very attached to Pilot, shared his moods and could pick up his emotions along with those of Moya. She knew instantly that he was unhappy.

"Pilot, what is it?"

"Commander Crichton."

She frowned. She had not noticed anything amiss. Aeryn put a hand to Pilot's cheek. He looked so miserable, so sad it hurt her. "Tell me."

Pilot hung his head, reluctant to speak. Aeryn climbed up on his console and sat cross legged so she could be nearer to him. "I just want to help, Pilot."

He looked at her for a moment, his hands for once still. She had his total attention. "He has done something I cannot forgive. Moya is upset also."

"John? What has he done?"

Pilot looked down. Aeryn put her hand under his great head and urged him to look up. Her voice was gentle, coaxing. "What did he do, Pilot?"

"He re-routed my connections to Moya. It was... very painful. I could not understand why he would do that and he would not explain."

Her frown deepened. That did not sound like Crichton. "When was this?"

"Two weekens ago."

Something clicked in her mind. Crichton's odd behaviour came back to her now. Had it been guilt? Had he really done something so terrible? "Pilot, why are you telling me this now?"

"Because Commander Crichton is your friend. We did not want to upset you."

"And now?"

He hung his head mournfully then looked up at her. She was alarmed to see tears in his eyes. "We are in pain..."

"Oh Pilot, you should have told me earlier. What can I do?"

"Moya asks if you can put things back the way they were."

"I'll speak to John right way."

Pilot hesitated. She frowned.

"What?"

"Moya and I do not want the commander to touch our connectors again. I was hoping you would consent to do it instead."

"Why not, Pilot?"

"I am too angry with him."

She nodded, her lips setting in a firm line. "Don't worry, I'll sort this out for you and for Moya."

His face cleared, a look of such gratitude on it that her heart tugged. She stroked his cheek gently and spoke to him for a while then clambered down off his console to go in search of Crichton.

* * * * *

Crichton was in his room, sorting through his meagre possessions. The tape recorder had long since run out of fresh tapes and he no longer felt the urge to commit his thoughts to posterity in such an egocentric fashion. Somehow none of it mattered any more. He paused and stared off into space, not seeing the wall in front of him or his converted cell at all. His mind a thousand million miles away and counting. Aeryn paused when she reached his room then stormed in. He turned. Saw the anger on her face and sighed. He knew what was coming and braced himself for the inevitable.

"Crichton! I have just seen Pilot and he and Moya are very upset..."

He winced. He had not been *Crichton* for some time now.

"Whatever you have done to Pilot you will tell me how to reverse this instant!"

He shook his head gently. "I'm sorry Aeryn, I can't do that."

To his surprise she struck him, the fist hitting him hard in the face and cutting his lip. He looked at her stunned for a moment, his expression sad. He made no move to step out of her way. "Then tell me what the frell you thought you were doing?"

"The connectors were damaged Aeryn, I had to do some re-routing.
I
explained it to Pilot before I started and I thought he understood. Afterwards he got angry with me, yelled and told me to get out and not to go near him again. I couldn't explain or talk any sense into him."

Aeryn was furious. "I'm not surprised. Do you realise he and Moya have been in pain since you took it on yourself to meddle with them? Have you any idea what you've done?"

He sucked in a breath and nodded. "You're right Aeryn. If that's what Pilot wants, I'll put it right."

Aeryn blocked his path, seething with anger. "You'll do no such thing. You are not to go near Pilot or touch his connections to Moya. I'll get D'Argo to help me and we'll put this right."

"Aeryn..."

"I am not talking to you, Crichton, so save your breath!"

He watched her storm out in silence then looked slowly around his little room. The few meagre possessions looking pathetic. A good match for how he felt at that precise moment. It was weird. Even when you knew something awful was going to happen you could not help watching. He sighed and picked up a few things then made his way to the docking bay. The sight of his module usually cheered him up no matter how low he was feeling but not today. He stood next to it and rested his forehead against the side of the little craft. Chiana's bright voice almost made him jump. He straightened and stuffed his few possessions inside the module so she would not see. He climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and paused before dropping into the cockpit. "Hey Chiana, what brings you here?"

"You look like you need a friend."

He gave her a smile but somehow it did not sit right on his face. She tilted her head and looked at him.

"You and Aeryn have another fight?"

"We don't fight, Pip. She yells at me and I say sorry."

The joke fell flat. Too accurate to be funny any more.

"Hey, want me to talk to her?"

"No, that would just make things worse. Thanks anyway Chi, this is something that just has to run its' course."

"So what you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna go for a spin in the module, you know? Give Aeryn time to cool down."

She nodded, her eyes saying sorry. He shut the canopy and Chiana left to stand behind the blast door. She watched him ready his little craft then take off. Perhaps a break from Moya was the best thing for him to do.

* * * * *

D'Argo looked up from the pit underneath Pilot. He and Aeryn had been down there for several arns now, following the route of the connectors Crichton had been working on. He looked up at Aeryn, puzzled.

"Aeryn. Did you say the re-routing is causing Pilot and Moya pain?"

"Yes."

D'Argo lifted his head so he could shout up to Pilot. "Pilot! What made John come down here in the first place?"

Pilot mumbled something. D'Argo shook his head and decided to use the com instead.

"I'm sorry Pilot, I didn't catch that. Why did John come down here?"

"We were experiencing some problems with the communications interlink."

D'Argo looked surprised. Aeryn frowned. Pilot had said nothing about asking for Crichton's help. "Are you saying you *asked* John to do this?"

Pilot's voice took on a defensive tone. "We were experiencing difficulties, I was distraught. Unable to get a clear connection to Moya."

"When was this, Pilot? Exactly." Said D'Argo.

"A couple of weekens ago."

"I do not remember any such emergency, Pilot." D'Argo said slowly.

"It was in the middle of the sleep cycle. I did not want to wake the crew."

D'Argo felt his irritation with Pilot rising. He exchanged a look with Aeryn and kept his annoyance out of his voice. "So you woke John?"

"Commander Crichton offered to fix it. We were very grateful at the time..."

"But you're not so grateful now, is that it?"

"You do not understand, Ka D'Argo. The links between myself and Moya are very sensitive. Commander Crichton fixed one problem and created a worse one."

Aeryn was frowning. "A worse one?"

"Yes. Before we had trouble communicating properly. Now we are in constant pain."

"Pilot," Said D'Argo slowly. "Did he fix the communication problem?"

"Yes, but..."

"Did he explain it would cause you pain?"

Pilot was silent. Aeryn lifted her head, a nagging suspicion in the back of her mind. Crichton's words coming back to haunt her. "Pilot," She asked gently. "Did John warn you that this could happen? That it could be painful?"

He paused before answering. "Yes."

"But you gave him permission to re-route the connections?" Asked D'Argo.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Pilot took a few microts before replying. "I could not communicate with Moya. We were both distressed."

D'Argo climbed out of the pit, angry. Aeryn wanted to calm him down. "No, Aeryn, this is not fair. Pilot asked for John's help and he gave it. As he always does. He warned Pilot what would happen but Pilot wanted him to go ahead anyway so he did. Now he has made it look as if John has deliberately set out to sabotage the linkage."

"I'm sure Pilot did not mean it that way, D'Argo..."

"Well, that's how it sounds to me Aeryn. I may not know any other humans but I know this one and I trust John. He would *never* do anything to hurt Pilot or Moya."

Aeryn felt tears prick her eyes but averted her face so D'Argo would not see. D'Argo clambered up the ladder to speak to Pilot. She heard the conversation drift down to her and listened in silence.

"Now Pilot, you are going to tell me *exactly* what John said..."

* * * * *

The planet was little more than an overgrown asteroid but it was stable and large enough to land the module and give him somewhere to sit and think. It was cold and draughty, barren and pretty inhospitable. All in all it matched his mood perfectly. He sighed. Climbed out of his module and shivered in the cold, his Peace Keeper leathers no substitute for a good sheepskin coat. He stood and leaned on a rock, let the fierce winds rip through his short hair and dry the tears that blinded him. He felt heartsick. He knew this would happen, even had a presentiment of doom but he could not bring himself to ignore Pilot's plea. Now Aeryn was not speaking to him. It would not be long before the rest of the crew heard what had happened and took sides against him. He sighed, sat down on the cold rock and took out his tape recorder. He pressed the play button and listened to one of the few music tapes he had not recorded over. The battery was almost gone but it still wound slowly on, enough to give him the gist of the tune and draw out the words that he had committed to memory so long ago. It was an old Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes song. Softly he sang along to the words:

"If you don't know me by now
You will never, never, never know me..."

The sigh in his heart matched the ache in his voice:

"After all the things that we've been through
You should understand me like I understand you..."

He thought of Aeryn. Her reaction. Tears pricked his eyes again. Why did loving someone have to hurt so darn much?

"Now I know the difference between right and wrong
And I ain't gonna do nothing to upset our happy home..."

Numbly he sang along to the words. By the time he got to the last verse he was crying so hard his throat was closing up, the words echoing his greatest fear:

"If we can't get along we might as well say goodbye
What use is a love affair if we can't see eye to eye?"

* * * * *

D'Argo was striding so quickly that Aeryn had a job keeping up. Chiana was walking the other way, stopped and trotted alongside them. "Hey, what's up?"

"Have you seen John?"

Chiana hesitated. She would willingly tell D'Argo but was not sure she should tell Aeryn. After all, Crichton had gone to get some peace and keep out of her way for a while. D'Argo stopped walking, his expression impatient. "Chiana, I said have you seen John?"

She tilted her head, playing for time. "Why?"

Aeryn actually looked upset. "Chiana, if you know please tell us."

That settled it, something was really wrong. "First you tell me why you want him."

They looked at each other. D'Argo sighed. "There has been a terrible mistake. A misunderstanding. John has been blamed for something that was not his fault. We need to find him so that we can tell him."

Chiana smiled pleased. Great. An apology. She grinned at Aeryn. "Okay, he took the module out."

Aeryn frowned. "When?"

"About five arns ago."

"Five arns! The module doesn't carry enough fuel for five arns."

D'Argo looked at Aeryn. "Then there must be a planet nearby. Let's go to command and check."

Chiana looked amused. "Why don't you just call him up on his com?"

Aeryn did not answer. Did not admit that she thought he had probably turned it off. It was all her fault. She just hoped and prayed he had not done anything stupid. When they got to command they checked and found there were no planets near. Zhaan listened to what they had to say and tried the communication channel. To Aeryn's surprise Crichton answered. It was hard to hear him clearly. "Yeah, what's up Zhaan?"

"John, where are you?"

"I'm on an asteroid. Pretty blowy down here Zhaan, I don't suggest you join me!"

Aeryn spoke next. "John, I found out what happened with Pilot. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

There was silence. She swallowed nervously, aware that the others were listening. "John?"

"I hear you Aeryn."

She paused. "When are you coming back?"

"I wasn't sure you wanted me back."

She bit her lip. Remembered how she had lashed out and hit him. "Well I do."

Crichton felt his heart leap in his chest but he had to be sure. "What about Pilot and Moya?"

Pilot's voice floated over the com, sounding suitably contrite. "I wish to apologise for my behaviour commander. It was unfair and both Moya and I will understand if you are no longer talking to us."

"Me not talk to you guys? In your dreams!"

Pilot looked confused, not sure if he was or was not still talking to them. Zhaan smiled at Pilot to reassure him. "John, it's Zhaan. We will expect you back within the arn."

"Okay Zhaan, put the porch light on."

* * * * *

Aeryn sat in front of Crichton on the Terrace, the tableau of stars making a soothing backdrop. Crichton put his arms around Aeryn and buried his face in her hair, taking in her scent and celebrating the fact that she was talking to him again. Aeryn leaned back in his arms, so content that the joy almost overwhelmed her. Once again the power of the human to forgive was amazing.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you, John."

He brushed her hair from her neck and kissed the back of her neck. Aeryn closed her eyes enjoying his touch. "That's okay, Aeryn."

Her eyes fluttered open. "It's not okay, John. You warned me but I didn't listen."

He trailed gentle kisses along the back of her neck, a shiver of pleasure running down her spine. She turned in his arms to face him. "I do trust you, John. I just wasn't prepared for Pilot to distort what happened."

"Hey, it's okay. He was scared Aeryn."

"No John, he lied. He misled me so that I would blame you."

He said nothing, his lips brushing hers. He pulled away slightly and looked at her. "You know what, Aeryn? The best thing about falling out is the making up afterwards."

She frowned. "Making up?"

"Oh yeah. It's a human tradition. Everytime there's been a misunderstanding you have to make up afterwards. To prove you have forgiven each other."

"Do you want me to call Pilot?"

He laughed lightly. "No, no, Aeryn. Not *that* kind of making up." He kissed her lips, lingering before speaking again, his voice hushed and tinged with desire. "This kind of making up."

Aeryn smiled, the curve of her mouth teasing his lips. "Oh. Perhaps you'd better show me. We don't want any more......misunderstandings."

He laughed. A joyful sound that filled her heart. Their lips met and their hearts joined, oblivious to anything but each other. In the shadows a DRD relayed the pictures to Pilot. Crichton had been quick to accept his and Moya's apology and Pilot was glad that everything had returned to normal. Crichton explained that the new linkage would be painful for another few weekens but the pain would go. Everything healed in time. Pilot watched Aeryn with Crichton. Oh yes. Everything healed in time...

********** T H E E N D **********