Work Text:
Title: Premium Peanut Butter with Extra Nuts
Author: Saryn
Pairing: Nick/Sara
Summary: Nicky is in the yuppie's shopping mart ? Price Choppers! Read about how interesting a random trip to the store becomes when we add our favorite CSI's to the mix!
Author's notes: like all of my ficlets/ stories?this is connected to the previous ones ? Growth and OFF.
Disclaimer: (whines)?.man?but?can't I just BORROW Nick and Sara for a bit?? I promise to give them back!
Premium Peanut Butter with Extra Nuts
by Saryn
He opened the door and stared with dismay at what he saw. Old Ballpark wieners , a six pack of beer that he had bought AGES ago for the football season with Warrick, and a half used jar of relish.
That was it?
He sighed, and considered his options. He could EAT the old wieners and relish , and HOPE he didn't get sick ? a la Grissom, or he could order his favorite `Sara' Cantonese lemon grass dish. Or he could eat a stale Mr. Noodles cup ? like Greg usually tended to do. But none of those options really satisfied him.
He sighed once more in resignation. It was time to do some serious shopping.
~~~~
Price Choppers.
Crappy name.
Good prices.
He wandered the aisles aimlessly, just grabbing at stuff that looked interesting. Captain Crunch cereal , some Folgers mocha coffee mix, Tropicana Orange Juice with some stupid cartoon on the front, Scottie's toilet paper, a refill canister of shaving cream and new razors, Dial antibacterial soap?
He had just loaded a Downy clothes softener into his cart, and had gone to grab the last box of Bleach for Colors Tide.
"Hey ?get your ow? NICK?", Sara asked incredulously when she realized who she was addressing.
"Sara", he looked amused, while he turned to her ? his hair neatly hidden by his charcoal baseball hat, and his eyes shielded by his sunglasses.
Pulling the glasses off, his eyes caught hers as she addressed him.
"Are my cleaning habits rubbing off on you?", she asked skeptically, "or are you trying to annoy the hell out of me?because that's MY brand?and that's the LAST one?"
He sighed pitifully. "Jeez?Sara?ya know?ya really need to talk to a professional about this paranoia of yours?"
She glared at him, and muttered something that suspiciously sounded like "shut up", before she caught him eyeing the contents in her cart.
"Where'd ya get that from?", he asked ? with interest.
"What? My Ben & Jerry's Funky Monkey ICE CREAM?", she taunted.
"Yeah", he pouted. "They were all out of Funky Monkey."
He sounded like he was about six years old.
She laughed with glee at his predicament, and then came up with a possible solution.
"Ok, let's trade."
"What?"
"Trade me ? your Tide for my Funky Monkey."
He looked at her oddly. "You'd trade ICE CREAM for laundry detergent?! Sara, hun, I hate to say this?but that's a little sad?"
"Sad?"
"Yeah?as in pathetically sad. Everyone knows that Ice Cream is the more desirable `product' than the LAUNDRY cleaner. Man?why can't you use?I dunno?Wisk for Colors Bleach or something? Same thing."
"It is not!", she sighed, and added, "Are you going to trade me or not? You know?I really should have the Tide AND the ice cream! I got them first?and I'm just being nice?so if you don't want to trade?" Her voice held an edge.
"Of course I want to trade", he grinned at her before swapping the bucket of Ben & Jerry's for her stupid cleaner.
********
They had caught up again ? after amicably pardoning, of course ? in the freezer food and refrigerator aisle.
"You are following me", she accused.
"Nah?am not", he shot back. A thoughtful look passed over his face. "What are ya hiding? I mean?if you are so paran-..."
"Nick! Knock it off with this paranoid bit! I like to shop by myself!"
He grinned. "You KNOW you sound anti-social, don't ya?"
"Errrr arrhhhh!", she hissed at no one in particular. "You are SOOOO annoying!"
He eyed the contents once more. He noticed that she had added a box of Swifers wet clothes, some Lysol, windex , air spray and a little scouring brush in the shape of a fish to her cart since he had last seen her. CSI's, by nature - and perhaps due to the job - tended to be a little nutty about cleaning. But Sara took the nuttiness to a completely new level of nuttiness. To Premium Peanut Butter with extra Nuts nutty?
"What's that?", he asked with a look of hesitation.
"What?my Soya Milk?", she asked honestly. At his look she added, "it's in CAROB."
"Disgusting?"
"Well I AM a vegetarian?and trying to kick the milk habit?"
"Vegetarians can drink Coke", he pointed out, as if she would have missed that fact.
"People with ulcers can't?or rather they can?but they shouldn't." She grinned as he mentally slapped himself. "Forgot that quickly, eh Nick?
He didn't respond at first, but then retorted. "So?even if you don't rub the lining of your stomach off?you can strip your lungs with all those cleaners and air fresheners?That makes sense."
"Uggggh! Are you just going to stop criticizing me and shop sometime in this lifetime?"
He grinned, and plastered a sickly sweet and artificial smile onto his face. "I criticize because I care, `sunshine'"
********
"Go ahead?take it?you know you WANT to?"
"I do NOT want the Porterhouse Hungry Man TV dinner, Sara?"
"Why not? You eat meat and you don't cook. It's perfect for a solitary guy with an active life. I won't hold it against you."
He paused shortly, and then grabbed the cardboard frozen dinner, as well as some frozen tater tots. Making more room in his cart, he deposited the lot of food, while Sara's petite hand reached into his cart and pulled out a product that had caught her attention when his groceries had shifted.
"Fantastic Herbal Mist! I always wanted to try this!"
"No Sara?c'mon?we are going to go get our bread, then our fruits and veggies?and then we are going to the check out line", he talked to her soothingly, and she shot him a look of annoyance.
"I can run back to aisle 7?"
"No. We are not going back to aisle 7 again?you?you can get it another time?."
"Hold on?."
"Sara! C'mon?.let it go?."
"Hold on?"
Sara and her cleaners ? they needed a nuttier peanut butter to describe her.
*********
"What? You've got to be kidding me!"
"Hmm?", she asked with confusion.
"You've officially lost it! What the heck do you need four bottles of the stuff for?"
"It smells good", she said with ease.
"How would you know?", he asked her suspiciously.
She finished organizing her cart into segments (cleaners on the bottom and food squeezed into the child `seat'). The two were ambling down into the fruits and vegetables section of the store. Sara shivered as the sprinklers turned on and everything was doused in a fine mist of water.
"Sara?", he asked warily.
"The Price Choppers employees should be happy?I cleaned one of their shelves for free?"
"Sara!"
"What? Is it my fault they don't let customers sample their products?"
"Sample the cleaners? Sara, you are scaring me!"
She grinned almost manically, as she tossed some plastic wrapped radishes to her `food section'.
"When are you going to eat those?"
"From couscous to risotto?radishes can be added to everything Nick?"
**********
Waiting in line was the worst for her, apparently. She was practically jumping up and down with impatience, so Nick Stokes ? kind man that he was ? had decided to take her mind off of the extremely loooong line, and put her out of her misery. Somewhat.
He decided talking about Grissom would do the trick.
"So, how are you are Gris doing?", he asked calmly.
She gave him a pointed look, and asked, "What are you getting at, Nick?"
He smiled broadly ? a smile that reached his brown Texan eyes. "I just want to know how Las Vegas' favorite CSI couple was doing?"
"What?! What are you yammering about?! Grissom and I aren't a couple ? we aren't even dating!" Sara's eyes widened slightly as she realized the trap she had just fallen into. Nick, in turn, looked pleased as punch.
"C'mon Sara?you know you want to tell me about your little crush", he teased in a singsong voice.
Sara Sidle stared at him like he was mentally gone.
"Nick?are you sure you are still not drunk from our Christmas staff party last week? I mean?I've never heard of alcohol lasting in a human body system that long, but in your?"
He interrupted her. "I do believe you are rambling, Miss Sidle."
She glared at him for the third time that evening. "I do not have a cru.."
"Crush on Grissom?", he provided for her.
She felt her cheeks blush. "It isn't any of your business", she mumbled with uncertainty.
"Oh, so you DO have a crush. We all win the pool!"
She felt the tension levels in her body rise. "What are you talking about?", she questioned slowly.
"Warrick, Cath and I made a bet against Greg that you had a crush on him!", he laughed with mirth. "Ha ? Greg is going to be eating Kraft Dinner for a month! I knew you had a thing for him! I tried to warn Greg that he was in denial, and to give it up" At her look newfound look of fear, he added, "Don't worry Sara?I don't believe Gr?"
"Shut up Nick", she whispered urgently, and he stopped on a dime. She had gone rather still, and Nick felt an unease creep into his gut. Turning, gingerly, he was shocked to find Grissom not five feet from their line with a small green basket in one hand, and a "Time" magazine in the other. Their supervisor stared at them with curiosity ? his features unreadable.
Nick felt like a heel, but he had never meant to embarrass her. Well, not so severely.
He now wondered how much the older man had heard.
He decided he would test the waters. If Grissom had heard Sara's `muted' acknowledgement of love for him, then the damage was already done?but if he had just stumbled into the line at the last possible second?
He knew Sara was dying inside.
"Hey, Gris!" he added quickly. "Do you like that show too?"
"Show?" Grissom asked nonplused, as he stared at Sara intently.
Nick pointed to a photo on his "Time" magazine.
"Yeah? "Six Feet Under"?.Sara's favorite show. Greg taped it for her for X-mas, `member?"
Grissom continued to stare at Sara with a penetrating look. He had heard SOMETHING, of that Nick was now sure. Sara fidgeted with her hands.
"Yes, I remember?", Grissom responded softly.
"Anyway, if you are bored then ya can tease Sara with me! She is so in love with that main character?the actor?what's his name?.whatever. But she's so touchy!", Nick laughed, ultimately worried about how this was going to blow over. Nick Stokes turned back to his now very anxious friend.
"So Sara, what IS the name of that guy who you have a crush on? Tell me and I'll quit it! Don't tell me?and I'll get Grissom involved. It's simple" he chuckled as he turned back to her.
Sara, knowing that she was trapped, icily responded through clenched teeth. "Peter Krause. Will you knock it off now?", she whispered again. The result, however unplanned by either, had been effective.
"I knew it! Greg doesn't even look like that guy! I told him he'd better stop living in denial?"
Nick, who had been watching Grissom's reactions out of the periphery of his vision, sighed. Grissoms behavior had shifted ? slightly. If you didn't know the man, you'd never know?but Nick had caught the drop of the eyes, and the change in the way he stood. He seemed ? shorter, and Nick internally winced.
Grissom had heard "crush", and been waiting to find out who. Nick, at that moment, knew without any doubt that Gil Grissom had his own intense feelings for the female CSI.
With amusement, Nick turned back to Sara to give her a reassuring smile, but noticed that she was speedily unloading her food onto the checkout counter.
The products and foodstuffs were paid for in record time, while Sara quickly re-packed their carts and started to walk away before giving Grissom a slight smile, and a "See ya later, Gris!"
Nick hobbled after her, and met up with her in the parking lot. When she didn't scream or yell at him immediately, he started to worry.
"Sara? I'm sorry?I didn't mean for it to get so out of hand?"
"yor?ae?p?", she muttered.
"What?"
"You are SO going to pay for that!", she recapitulated, raising her voice slightly.
He stopped, smiled tensely, and asked with self-assurance. "Really?how? You have nothing on me!"
With a frown, she passed his groceries on over to him while he loaded his truck.
"I'll think of something", she warned as she buttoned up her red cardigan.
"Oh yeah?I'm not involved, and I don't have any crushes, or any secrets?none that YOU know about, anyway. I'm totally NON-blackmail-able", he started, with a sly grin.
"I'm not going to black mail you", she stated evenly, while she finished loading her own VW Beetle. He opened her door for her, while she got into the driver's side seat and shut the door.
He heard the distinctive lock almost immediately.
"I'm going to eat your ice cream", she mouthed through the glass, as ? from nowhere ? she pulled out the pilfered Funky Monkey.
HIS ice cream.
Ohh?she was good. She was too good.
She laughed silently behind the glass at his look of pure anguish, started her car, and drove away.
There was nothing much more sobering than having the wool pulled over your eyes by a fellow CSI; especially one crazier than premium peanut butter? with extra nuts.
~Fin~