Work Text:
Title: Scorpio's Insanity Emporium & Undead Cafe'
Author: Scorpio
Warning: silly-fic fluff! extreme insanity! My child's stuffed animals made me do it, it's *not* my fault! I swear!
Disclaimer: Joss owns 'em, but I think this'd make him cry...
Summary: Dru sings at a club to an audience of demons
Scorpio's Insanity Emporium & Undead Cafe
by Scorpio
A short lumpy creature of indeterminate species of demon stood up on tip-toes before the microphone placed in the dead-center of the small stage. It was cloaked in a shimmery sparkly blue sequence hooded robe that (thankfully) hide it's appearance from view. It cleared it's throat as it gazed down at the audience with glowing red eyes that peered out from under the cowl of it's robe.
"Welcome Demons and Fiends alike, to Lady Scorpio's Insanity Emporium & Undead Cafe'. We've got a wonderful show for all of you evil creature's out there and I am sure you'll have a howlingly good time."
The short demonoid paused a moment to wait out the mix of cheers and boos that were a normal reaction to it's opening speech.
"Tonight, Lady Scorpio has a real special treat for you all. For one night only, we are pleased to present, the lovely, the beguiling, the deadly, the Vampire Seeress, *Drusilla*!"
The lumpy creature in the fancy robes began to clap it's clawed hands as it slowly backed it's way off of the stage. This started up what turned into a thunderous applause when a slim pale and hauntingly beautiful woman with soft dark hair glided onto the small stage. She was dressed in a slim silken black sheath that reached to her ankles and left her thin arms bare. Cradled in one of her arms was a antique porcelain doll. When she spoke, her voice was a gliding caress of sweet promises and loving lies. She was... enchanting.
"I'm going to torture you tonight. Such lovely beautiful pain and you shall not escape. My voice shall haunt you like a demon trapped inside your head, scratching and clawing at your mind to be free. Miss Edith says that the only way to rid yourself of my torment is to give it to another."
The audience roared it's approval.
"I shall sing you a song. It was taught to me by the stars. They have whispered it in my brain for days now. Miss Edith wants this to be an audience participation event, so please, clap along."
The frail vampiress shifted slightly and cleared her throat. Then, she began to sway lightly back and forth to a rhythm only she could hear.
"There... was a Xander had a Vamp."
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"S! *clap-clap-clap-clap*"
"S! *clap-clap-clap-clap*"
"S! *clap-clap-clap-clap*"
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"There... was a Xander had a Vamp."
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"S-P *clap-clap-clap*"
"S-P *clap-clap-clap*"
"S-P *clap-clap-clap*"
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"There... was a Xander had a Vamp."
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"S-P-I *clap-clap*"
"S-P-I *clap-clap*"
"S-P-I *clap-clap*"
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"There... was a Xander had a Vamp."
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"S-P-I-K *clap*"
"S-P-I-K *clap*"
"S-P-I-K *clap*"
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"There... was a Xander had a Vamp."
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
"S-P-I-K-E"
"S-P-I-K-E"
"S-P-I-K-E"
"And Spike-boy was his name. Oi!"
To the horrifying sounds of a room full of snarling and howling (and now thoroughly cursed) demons and fiends, Dru twirled in a circle and then curtsied with breathtaking grace. Then, humming lightly to herself, she twirled once more and then silently glided back off of the stage. The short lumpy demonoid in the sparkly blue robe watched as the crazy vampiress danced her way over to a tall dark and imposing Master Vampire. Just as it was about to make it's way back on stage, it heard them speak.
"Oh Daddy! Did you enjoy my song?"
"Yes, Princess, it was wonderful. You are as evil as you are beautiful. Come, the night is young, let's go hunting."
And with that, they were off into the night, leaving a cafe' full of demons with a silly child's song stuck within their heads.
END