Work Text:
Notes: Many thanks to Amber for the beta work.
Disclaimer: not mine
***
It was done. Jack looked at the gate half buried in the rubble. The gate had been situated on the slopes of a rocky hill, so the job had required only a few well-placed explosives. He felt sad and bereft looking at the sight, even though he knew fully well there had been no other way to save the day, none. It had been time to cut the ties to mother Earth.
He looked up at the sky with the orange sun. He had thought before about such a situation, who in the SGC had not at one point or another? It had been one of those issues one did *not* bring up, not unless you were stone drunk and feeling exceptionally brave. Superstitious, to think talking of it, would bring it about. Still, everyone thought of it, thought of what to do, how to act, but to actually do it was a different thing, and for such a reason. Not to save the Earth from the Goa'uld, but from themselves.
He sighed and turned to walk back to the ruins of a city they had found on their first trip here. He sidestepped the larger rocks and remains of battles long fought, and lost.
Daniel had been the first one to feel it. A day later, Sam had suddenly announced similar symptoms. By then they were all confined in quarantine. Janet still could not say why he had been the last one to succumb to it. Teal'c of course had been fine, as usual. It was both a blessing and an irritation, though Jack was careful never to let the latter part show. Teal'c was already painfully aware of being different, an outsider in so many ways.
Jack climbed over the remains of an outer wall. The attackers had punched holes in it millennia ago and it resembled the jagged teeth of an old timer by now. Still, it stood.
Janet was blaming herself for finding nothing, for not being able to solve the puzzle. She was not used to feeling so out of her depth, not after so many successes. But to some riddles, there was no correct answer. Jack had accepted it a long time ago, it had been a bitter experience for him too.
After almost two weeks in confinement and having been poked and prodded more times than he cared to remember, Jack had finally requested permission to go back, and to shut the gate for good. He did not want to spend the rest of his life in isolation, or worse yet, in some NID lab, and he sure as hell did not want to risk anyone else coming to the planet or catching the curse, as it had come to be called. Such old-fashioned name suited it well. Jack was not sure how the general had managed to keep the NID guys out of the mess, but he was grateful to the old fox. Those sleaze balls would have been thrilled to get their hands on something like this, which was yet another reason to leave.
Jack had kept the gate operational for a month, checking in with the SGC every day. There was nothing. Even Janet had had to slow down and admit that it would take years to find a solution, if they ever did. Jack knew the SGC did not have the resources to research just one case for such a long time; they did not have the manpower, the money or the time. There were a dozen teams bringing back several items every week and only a limited amount of people to go through them. Who knew what they could miss, or what they were already missing. Janet knew this too - her desk was already overflowing with other cases to look at. The last communication with Sam yesterday had been teary and full of sadness. They were saying farewell, not goodbye. Before there was a good chance they would see each other again, but not now. They had run out of hope.
Jack walked into the ruined city. At least he had his lover with him. He would not have done so well if he had had to say farewell. He would not have been able to do it, to look into those beloved eyes and know that it was for the last time.
He paused by the gate and took off his clothing, leaving it lying on the ground. Today had been the last day he would wear them. He preferred to be without them and had gone nude most of the time during the month they had been here, except for the communication with the SGC, of course. He had *some* sense of decorum. But this time, he had felt he ought to wear his BDUs as he said goodbye to his previous life. Daniel had said something about rituals and burying the old, but to Jack all that mattered was that it just felt right.
Jack looked back for the last time and went down on all fours as he 'morphed. He started to walk toward the main square of the old city where Teal'c waited with their packs. Walking on all fours, loping, having fur, it was all beginning to feel familiar, everyday. Seeing your hand become a paw was pretty terrifying at first, especially since it did not resemble any paw he had ever seen (they usually don't have jet black claws and a thorn like whatever on the back). It became the norm pretty quickly, even quicker after they came back. Jack suspected it was because their new forms *belonged* here. Jack huffed. What did it matter anymore, this was home now, this was where *they* belonged now.
He jumped over a fallen pillar and rounded a corner to the main square. Sam was lounging on an old rock platform, soaking in the sun. Daniel was grooming himself in the shade of a half-downed wall. Teal'c was sitting on a low wall, calm as ever.
Teal'c rose as he loped into view. It was time to move on and explore their new home. Maybe they could find answers to their questions. It would give them purpose if nothing else, something to aim for. They needed a new purpose, for Jack was worried that the others may not have realised what their decision meant, what cutting all ties to their home really signified. Once the others did realise it, they would need something to hold on to, something to strive for while rebuilding their lives. And they would, Jack was certain of it. Maybe they would even have a chance to unearth the gate and call home with the good news. Maybe.
***
End