Chapter Text
###
Somewhere smelly, wet and full of trash
"This sucks. I am fully aware that my world is cold and wet, but does it have to be slimy and smelly too? Eeewww. What was this in its previous life? No, don't tell me. Some things are not meant for us to know and all that. Totally disgusting whatever it is."
"I said I'm sorry."
"---"
"Pouting is so not you. And don't give me the evil eye. How was I supposed to know?"
"You're the sentinel, remember? Good ears, sharp nose."
"Ouch. No need to get violent. I'm sure Simon will get us out."
"Great, I can just hear the guys at the station talking about this. ´How was the view from the bottom?`, ´did you get the slimebag?`, ´gotten to any tours of the underground of Cascade lately?`"
"It's not that bad."
"Not that bad?! Last time they joked about ´laundering` for two weeks!"
"They weren't the only ones."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You wouldn't go anywhere near a washing machine for a month. I had to do all the laundry. Not to mention the jabs and comments I had to endure for a week."
"You know, we should get married."
"---"
"Jim, you're not zoning, are you?"
"Married?? Where did that come from?"
"We are practically married already."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, look at the facts. We live together, do laundry together, fight over the remote control, everyone treats us as a couple, we get into crazy situations together. All that's missing is sex."
"How is it that every time something like this happens, you start talking about sex? Last time it was the homoerotic currents in the warrior cultures across time."
"Because these are one of the few times I have your undivided attention. And I can be sure no-one is going to walk in on us."
"What do you mean ´walk in on us`? We haven't done anything."
"So far. But I like to plan ahead."
"Plan ahead?"
"Yep, we're currently on phase C, the next time you get us into a locked space, we're going to move onto phase D. I'm looking forward to it."
"Are you - Simon's here. Over here!"
"How did you two - Never mind, I'll get you out."
"Thanks, we were getting stir crazy."
"That doesn't come until phase D."
"Should I be worried about your mental health?"
"No. You just need to take care of the little sentinel until we get to phase E."
"???"
***
Two weeks later at the loft
"Oh, yes. Right there." Purring "Blair, I really love the way you plan ahead."
"Glad to know you appreciate my talents. How about I do this?"
"Oh, god. Yess!"