SquidgeWorld Archive

It is important for men to remember, that as some men grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive man.

My name is Jim ...... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my mate, Blair . When I took "early retirement" this year, it became necessary for Blair to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after he started working I noticed he was beginning to show his age.

I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time he gets home from work. Although he knows how hungry I am, he almost always says he has to rest for half an hour or so before he starts dinner. I don't yell at him. Instead, I tell him to take his time and just wake me when he gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door...

He used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding him several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know he appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate him to get them done before he goes to bed.

I really think my experience as a manager helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do; it's one of my strong points...

Now that he has gotten older, he does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are a long way from the bedrooms. Sometimes he says he just can't make another trip. I don't make a big issue of this; as long as he finishes up the laundry the next evening,

I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell him to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.. This gives him a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting...

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy, my clubs are a mess, so I let him clean them, you know.....get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for him. Some men are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as us he men.

But I did tell him I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, he can put them back in the trunk when he's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, he will say that it is difficult for him to find time to pay the monthly bills during his lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell him to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way he won't have to rush so much.

I also remind him that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt him any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, he seems to think he needs more rest periods.

He had to take a break when he was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell him to fix himself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as he is making one for himself, he may as well make one for me too, and then take his break by my hammock. That way he can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Blair. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating some men get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging mate because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other... Signed, Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim died suddenly Thursday July 7th. He was found with a Titleiest rammed up his posterior, with only 2 inches of grip showing.. His mate Blair was arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted his defense that he accidentally sat on it, and died.